मजेदार हिंदी चुटकुले 2016

Boy BhAri Bus Me 1 LAdki Ko
Touch KAr RAhA ThA.
.
LAdki: Excuse Me AAp AchchhA
NAhi KAr RAhe HAi..
.
Boy: MAdAm Itni Bheed Me Is
Se AchchhA NAhi Ho SAktA.
`
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Life TAught Me Lot Of Lessons
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
But I Bunked Those ClAsses Too...!
`
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SAntA Dodh WAle Ki Shop Pe
JAtA HAi, Aur KehtA HAi.
SAntA: tumhAri Shop KA Dodh
KhArAb HAi, SArAbAt MAi DAlA
FAt GAyA Dodh WAle Ne HAirAni
Se PoochA, Konse SArbAt MAin
DAlA ThA
SAntA: nimboo PAni MAin..:p
`
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Chotu SAntA: Aunty Is BAr
To AAp Ko LArkA Hi HogA.
Aunty: Tumhe KAise PAtA ChAlA.
ChotA SAntA: AAp Ki PhAtti Hui
ShAlwAr Se Mujhe Us Ki
Moonchein
NAzAr AA RAhi HAi..;)
`
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Gf On Phone: Hi DeAr AAj
TumhAri BAhut BAhut YAAd AA
RAhi HAi, I Seriously Miss U..
Bf: Arey.. Abhi To BAAt Ki
Humne!!
Gf: Oh, Phir Se Tujhe
Hi LAg GyA..sorry!
`
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Sir: SAmAjh Tujhe 10 LAddu Diye..
Student: Mujhe............####
Sir: SAmAjh NA Tere BAAp KA KyA
JAtA HAi.. Usme Se 5 LAddu MAine
Le Liye To Tere PAss Kitne BAche............####
Student: 20
Sir: KAise............####
Student: SAmAjh NA Tere BAAp KA
KyA JAAtA HAi...

`
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Mom: Itni RAAt GAye KAhA GAye The..........####
BetA: Apni Girl Friend Se Milne.
Mom: Kis Liye..........####!
BetA: HAA Mom, BAhut Kiss Liye!
`
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Ek Govt. Office Ke BoArd
Pe LikhA HuA ThA KripAyA
Shor NA KAre PAppu Ne
Uske Niche Likh DiyA
VArnA Hum JAAg JAyenge.
`
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Gf: Meri Mummy Ko Tum BAhut
PAsAnd AAye Ho
.
.
PAppu: ChAl PAgli
.
.
Kuchh Bhi Ho
.
MAin ShAdi Tumse Hi KArungA..
Aunty Se KehnA Wo Mujhe Bhool
JAyen..
`
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1 LAdki Coke Pi RAhi Thi,
AchAnAk Us Me Se 1 MAchhAr NiklA
MAchhAr BolA: MAA.
LAdki: Mein Teri MAA NAhi Hu.
MAchhAr: AisA NA Bol MAA,
Mein Teri Cock Se NiklA Hoon.
`
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Boy: JAAn, TumhArA NAAm Apne
HAAth Pe Likhu YA Dil Pe ..........####
.

Girl: IdhAr UdhAr Kyo Likhtey Ho
AgAr SAchA PyAr Krte Ho To Apni
Property K PApers PAr Likh Do
.
Boy: Oo Teri YAAr Ye LAdkiyAn Kitne
ChAlAk Hogyi HAi StAr Plus Dekh Ke.
`
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Ek AAdmi MAndir MAin Bol RAhA
ThA, Hey BhAgwAn, Teri KirpA,
Teri DAyA, Teri ShrAdhA, Teri
ArAdhnA, Teri BhAkti, Teri ArchnA,
Teri PoojA, Teri AArti, Teri
MAyA, Teri GeetA, Teri VidhyA,
Teri Riddhi, Teri Siddhi, Teri
LAxmi, Teri KArunA, Teri Mehek
Teri LeelA, Teri MAhimA...
.
Or Meri Ek Bhi NAi..........####..........####

`
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BhikAri: Behenji BhAgwAn K
NAAm PArek RupiyA Dedo
LAdy: Kutte ShArAm NAhi AAti
RAste Pe Bheekh MAngte Ho
.
.
.
BhikAri: To Ab KyA Tere Ek Rupiye
K Liye Office Kholu KAmini.
`
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Girl: MAin JAb Bhi Phone
KArti Hu Tum ShAving KAr
RAhe Hote Ho. Din Me Kitni
BAAr ShAving KArte Ho..........####

PAppu: 30-40 BAAr.

Girl: PAgAl Ho KyA ..........####..........####
PAppu: PAgAl NAhi,
NAAyi (BArber) Hu.
`
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Super Killer Joke
Boy And Girl Are Sitting..

2 Dogs Kissed EAch Other

Boy: JAAnu AgAr Tum BurA NA
MAno To MAin Bhii..........####..........####..........####..........####..........####..........####

Girl: Ok, PAr SAmbhAl Ke,
KAhi KuttA KAAt NA Le.
`
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JAli Ko AAg KAhte H,
Bujhi Ko RAkh KAhte H,
Fen Ko JhAg KAhte H,
SnAke Ko NAg KAhte H,
SAbji Ko SAg KAhte H,
Aur Jo LAdkiyo Ke PAss Nhi
HotA H, Use DimAAg KAhte H.
`
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Perfect MessAge:
Agr Life Mein KAbhi AApse
Koi MistAke Ho JAye..!
¤
¤
To 2 Mins. Apni AAnkhen BAnd
KArke.! Socho Ke...
¤
IskA IlzAAm KispAr LAgAyA JAye!!
`
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BohAt PurAni KAhAwAt HAi
.
.
.
.
Is Liye Mujhe YAAd NAhi
KAl Soch Ke BAtAungA ..:D :p

`
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LAdkon Ke Liye 1 Vishesh SuchnA..
AgAr Koi LAdki Tumse Mile..
Frndship KAre..
Aur
Agle Din Hi Tumse I Luv U KAhe..
Toh..

SAmAj LenA
Wo EmotionAl AttyAchAr Ki
Undercover Agent HAi..
`
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AAj KA VichAr..
Jo BAcchA Apne MAA BAAp Ki
Dil Se SevA KArtA HAi....
.
.
.
Uski "Love MArriAge" Me
ZyAdA DikkAt Nhi AAti.!!
`
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Ek "Bhoot" Ne Dusre Bhoot
Se KAhA Kitni Ajeeb BAAt HAi
LAdke MArne K BAAd InsAn Se
Bhoot BAn JAte HAi Aur LAdkiyAn
"Chudel" Ki Chudel Hi Rehti HAi..
`
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('.') ('.') ! ! ! !
Dono Zid KAr RAhe The K
Bhoot DekhnA H. MAine
Apke PAss Bhej DiA HAi
ThodA SA DrA DenA Ye
Khush Ho JAyenge..
`
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Wo Toilet Mein BAithA Kisi
Se Ek LotA PAAni Bhi NA
MAAng SAkA YAAron Kyunki
Usi Ne KAhA ThA, Mujh PAr
EhsAAn KArnA. Ki Mujh PAr
Koi EhsAAn NA KArnA.
`
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Inbox Ki GAwAhi Aur BAyAno
Ko MAdde NAzAr RAkhte Huye
Ips Ki DhArA 420 K TAhAt
Sms PAdh RAhe 'Mujrim' Ko
Sms NA Bhejne K Jurm Me
'BhikhAri' QrAr DiyA JAtA Hei.

`
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The Best BrAin Of The
NAtion MAy Be Found
On The LAst Benches
Of "ClAss Room"
`
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Kisiko PurAni HAveli PAsAnd
HAi, Kisiko ShAhrukh Ki
PAhelh PAsAnd HAi, Kisiko
KArinA Ki ChAmeli PAsAnd
HAi, PAr Mujhe To Apki
SAheli PAsAnd HAi.
`
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UsA Se TumhAre Liye RishtA
AyA HAi, LAdki KA BAAp
HArdwAre Me HAi, MAA SoftwAre
Me HAi, BhAi FootweAr Me
HAi, Aur LAdki Sirf UnderweAr
Me HAi, ChAlegi KyA.
`
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Zindegi Mein HAmeshA 1 BAAt
YAAd RAkho, KAbhi Kisi Ke
Dil Se MAt Khelo, Kyunki Dil
1 Hi HotA HAi, AgAr KhelnA
Hi HAi To Kidney Se Khelo 
Wo 2 Hoti HAi.
`
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KAminey KAminey KAminey

KAminey KAminey KAminey

KAmimey KAminey KAminey

Apki KAmi-Ney ItnA
PAreshAn KAr DiyA K Hum
Ko Sms KArnA Hi PAdA
`
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Are O SAmbhA,
ZArA BAtA To 1 Msg KA
KitnA DAAm RAkhA HAi

Bilkul Frèe HAi SArkAr
Toh UthAnA Mobile Or
Bhej Msg SAb KAnjusoo Ko
Jinko Free B MehngA LAgtA HAi

`
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Dekho AndherA KitnA SuhAnA
HAi, LoAd ShAding KA ZAmAnA
HAi, KAr Do EkAdA Sms,
BAlAnce BAchA KAr KyA Apni
ShAAdì KA CArd ChhApwAnA HAi.
`
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PAtA HAi Hum Chlorömint Kyun KhAte HAin..........####

Kyunki
5-stAr,
CAdbury,
Perk,
DAirymilk,
Kit-kAt,
Or Munch
50 PAise Me NAhi AAte.

Ab DoobArA MAt PuchhnA
`
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Girl: MAin Kisi Aur Se ShAdi
KAr RAhi Hun, Mujhe Bhul JAo..
Boy: NA Tere AAne Ki Khushi,
NA Tere JAAne KA GhAm, Dusri
PAtAyenge Tu JAA BAhen AAj
Se TerA KissA KhAtAm...
`
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KyA AAp MArne Ke BAAd Bhi, 
BeAutiful LAdkiyAAn DekhnA
ChAhte HAin. PleAse
DonAte Ur Eyes
SociAl Msg Ko V KAmine Logon
Ke Liye Interesting BAnAkAr
BhejnA PAdhtA HAi
`
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Best Joke Ever Abt LAdies Driving:
Doctor 2 Injured PAtient:
JAb CAr Ek LAdy ChAlA RAhi Thi
To Tumhe RoAd Se
Dur ChAlnA ChAhiye ThA.
.
.
PAtient: Abbe Kon Si RoAd BhAi
Me To GArden Me LetA HuA ThA.
`
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You HAve No Girlfriend 
You Less Something Your Life..
.
.
You HAve Girlfriend You
Less Everything Ur Life..

`
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Lipu: My Love AffAir HAs
Been Such A Sweet DreAm,
I CAnnot WAit To Get
MArried. WhAt Is 
MArriAge LiVe ..........####
Dipu: MArriAge Is The 
AlArm Clock !¡!¡.
`
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FAther: Beti Aj Tum Ne Phone
PAr Sirf 1 GAntA BAt Ki, Tum
Ne To KAbi 4 GhAntAy Se Kum
BAt Hi NAhi Ki.

Beti: "PApA Ye Wrong Numbr ThA".
`
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Q: How Do You Keep A
Fool Busy For Hours..........####
A: 
Give Him A Piece Of PAper
With PleAse Turn Over
Written On Both Sides.
`
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AmAn: AAj MAi Ne PAni Ko
Ullu BAnA DiyA
ChAmAn: PAni Ko Ullu BAnA
DiyA Woh KAise
AmAn: SubAh MAi Ne PAni
GArAm KiyA Aur
ThAnde PAni Se NAhA LiyA.
`
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TeAcher: ChAnd PAr PehlA
KAdAm Kisne RAkhA...........####..........####
.
.
.
.
PAppu: Neil Amstrong
.
.
.
TeAcher: Aur DoosrA...........####..........####
.
.
.
PAppu: DoosrA Bhi Usi Ne RAkhA
HogA, LAngdA Thodi ThA Wo.
`
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Boyfriend Ek Aisi Cheez HAi...
.
.
.
.
.
Jiss K SAmne
ChipkAli, Aur CockroAch Se
DArne WAli LAdki Bhi.
Sherni BAn K Ghumti HAi.

`
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EkbAr Ek ShArAbi JA RAhA
ThA AchAnAk KichchAd Me
Gir GAyA Itneme Bijli
ChAmki ShArAbi BolA He
BhAgwAn Ek To KichchAd
Me GirA DiyA Aur Photo
Bhi Khinch LiyA.
`
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Dosti KAro College WAAli
Se.. PyAr KAro Office
WAAli Se.. BAAten KAro
PAdos WAAli Se.. AAnkh
LAdAAo SAAli Se.. Love
KAro Dil WAAli Se.. Aur
MAAr KhAAo GhAr WAAli Se..!
`
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Little Girl: JAb Me BAdi Ho
JAungi AAp Apne LAdkAy Ki
ShAAdi Mujse KArwAoge..........####..........####
Shopkeeper Smiling: HAAn BetA
ZArur KArwAongA..
Little Girl: To Apni Hone WAli
BAhu Ko 1 DAirymilk Do NA...
`
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Dr: Lo NikAl DiyA KhArAb
DAAnt ThA.. PAr Tum ChillAti
BAhut Ho Us Din KiyA HogA..
Girl: Kis Din.
Dr: JAAn Do Chodo WAise
PAdhne WAle BAhut KAmeene
HAi SAmjh GAye Honge...........####
`
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ShArAbi RoAd Pe PAdA ThA..
Police: Itni Kyu Pee RAkhi HAi..
ShArAbi: MAzburi Thi..
Police: KyA MAzburi Thi ..........####
ShArAbi: BottAl KA DhAkkAn
Gum Ho GAyA ThA.
`
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MAA: NAlAyAk KAhA Thi Itni
RAAt TAk
Beti: Boyfriend Ke SAAth,
MAA: KAr AAyi NA Muh KAlA,
Beti: Toh KyA HuA MAA FAir
& Lovely HAi NA.

`
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WhAt Is Difference Between
DD And Cheque............####
DD Is Like Wife Which Is Being
Trusted..
But.,
Cheque Is Like Girlfrnd, Which
CAn Bounce Anytime..!
`
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WhAts Common Between Clouds
And Wife............####
.
.
.
When Both Are Not Around We
CAll It A PleAsAnt DAy..!
`
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Printing On Wedding CArds
Should Be MAde Compulsory
Like On CigArette Boxes

StAtutory WArning
"MArriAge Is Injurious To Your
FinAnciAl & MentAl HeAlth".
`
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LAdki Aur Sms Mein KyA
SimilArity HAi.. ..........####..........####
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
JAb TAk Uper Se Neeche TAk
PurA Dekh NA Lo
ChAin NAhi MiltA.
`
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RAAt Ko 12 BAje LAdki Ne
Boyfriend Ko CAll KiA Aur
KAhA, GhAr PAr Koi NAhi
HAi, Boyfriend Uske GhAr
GAyA Aur..



SAch Much Koi NAhi ThA,
TAlA LAgA ThA!
`
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Ab Mujhe Meri Gf Ny Hurt
KiyA Tu Dil KrtA ThA K
DuniA He Chhor Doon..
.
LAkin,
Pir MAne Dil Ko SAmjAyA
.
YAAr Tere Se FAcebook To
ChhodA Nhi JAtA,
DuniyA KyA GhAntA ChhodegA.

`
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Two Girls Bus Mein SeAt Ke
Liye LAd RAhi Thi.
Conductor: Kyu LAd RAhi Ho..........####
Jo UmAr Me BAdi Ho Wo BAith
JAye BAs Phir KyA
Dono Pure RAste
Didi AAp BAitho Kerti RAhi.
`
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Boy BhAri Bus Me 1 LAdki Ko
Touch KAr RAhA ThA.
.
LAdki - Excuse Me AAp AchchhA
NAhi KAr RAhe HAi..
.
Boy - MAdAm Itni Bheed Me Is
Se AchchhA NAhi Ho SAktA..
`
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RAilwAy StAtion WArning BoArd:
.
RAil Ki PAtri PAr BAith KAr
Potty NA KArein.. AAp Roz HAAth
Se PichwAdA DhotehAin, Kisi Din
PicchwAde Se HAAth Dho BAithenge..
`
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Ek BAr Sholey TeAm Ne Ipl
Me PArt LiA.. Sholey TeAm
K Bowlers Ne 20 Over Me 120
Diye PAr ExtrAs Me 200 De Diye.
Pucho Q
.
.
Are YAr Wicket Keepr ThAkur ThA
`
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Yeh Joke Sunoge Toh HAs
HAs K MAr JAAoge,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Isi Liye Post NAhi KiyA,
KAhi MAr GAye Toh..........####
I CAre For You YAAr...!!!
`
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ToofAni RAAt..
Ek LAdkA Bus KA WAit Kr
RAhA ThA.. AchAnAk Se Ek
LAdki ChhAtA LAgA Ke JAti
Hui DikhAi Di..
Girl: Hey AAo ChhAte Me AA JAo..
Boy: Sorry Sister And Runs AwAy
Quickly..
MorAl: MorAl WorAl Kuch NAhi..
LAdki Ke PAir Ulte The..
HAhAhA Jo SAmjhe Thoko Like.

`
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Ek Din PAppu AkelA UdAs NAdi
Ke KinAre BAithkr Usme PAthAr
Phek RhA ThA.
.
TAbhi Ek MendhAk NiklA Aur
BolA.. AjA PAni Ke Abhi Teri
UdAsi Dur Kr DetA Hu
.
Kutte, KAminey Meri Gf KA Sir
Fod DiyA..
`
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Hum KAbhi PAdh NA SAke
Kyuki
PAdhAi Sirf Do WAjAhse Hoti He
1=shok Se
2=dAr Se
FAltu Ke Shok Hm PAlte Ni
Or DArte To Hm Kisi K BAAp Se
Bhi Nhi...
`
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Our Next GenerAtion Will
Not B Able To See
PolAr BeArs And Tigers !!
.
.
.
To HAm KyA KAre..........#### HAmne Bhi
To KAbhi DinAsAur Nhi Dekhe,
KAbhi ShikAyAt Ki ..........####
`
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Girlfriend & Bluetooth
Dono Ek JAise Hote HAi..........####
.
PAss HonA Pe Connect Rehete HAi...
.
Aur Door Hone Pe
"New Device Found"
`
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Friend Aur Bestfriend Me
KyA FArq HAi..............####
.
Friend KAhete HAi,
"Plz Drive SAfe & Slow"
.
Aur Bestfriend KAhete HAi,
"BhAgA Bhootni Ke BhAgA AAge
Scooty Pe Ek Item JA RAhi HAi."
`
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Height Of Attitude:
A CockroAch's LAst Words To A
MAn Who Is About To Kill Him:
.
"Go AheAd & Kill Me, U CowArd!
U R JeAlous Of Me Bcoz Ur Wife
Is AfrAid Of Me & Not
AfrAid Of You". :P

`
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1999 Kids: I WAnt My Bed NeAr
Window To See The Moon & StArs.
.
.
.
.
2013 Kids: I WAnt My Bed NeAr
The Mobile ChArging Slot..
`
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Ek MAchhAr Aur MAkhhi Ki
ShAdi Hue, SuhAgrAt Ke Din
MAchhAr RAt Ko BAhr TAhAl
RhA ThA, Uske Dost Ne PuchhA
KyA HuA, MAchhAr (Dukhi Hokr BolA)
YAr TumhAri BhAbhi "All Out"
LgA Kr Soi H.
`
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Difference Between Horror &
BeAutiful Night..
.
BeAutiful Night Is
When You Hug Your Teddy BeAr
And Sleep..
.
Horror Night Is
When Your Teddy Hugs You
BAck..
`
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Ae KhudA BArish KArwA De..
Ek LotA PAni BhArwA De..
Or Jo Mujhe 'Sms' NA KAre
Us Lote Me Unke Mobile DubA
De.. NA RAhegA Phone NA
BAjegi Tone....
`
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BreAk Up K 1 Month BAAd
Woh Mere PAss AAke Boli
Tumhe PyAr KArne Ki SAzA
Do Mujhe...
.
.
.
MAine Bhi Uske PApA Ke PAss
JAA Ke SAb Kuch BAtA DiyA..
.
KAsAm Se BAhot Piti YAAro
`
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1st Friend: MAin AisA KyA
KArun Ki Tere ShAdi Ke
BAAd Tere Wife Ko CinemA Le
JAun..Aur Tu NArAj Bhi NA Ho............####
.
.
.
2nd Friend: Apne BehAn Se Meri
ShAdi KArA De....!

`
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Golden Thought Of The DAy:
Girls Express Their Feelings
With GussA And TeArs..
.
.
Boys Express Their Feelings
With SuttA & Beers..
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Customer: BhAi MAi KAb Se
WAit KAr RhA Hoon...KhAnA
Abhi TAk TAiyAr Nhi HuA..........####
HotelwAlA: Sir, khAnA To 3
Din PAhle Se TAiyAr HAi
BAs GArAm Ho RAhA HAi.
`
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Son: PApA, Circus Dekhne ChAle ..........####
PApA: I'm Busy.
Son: PApA, Usme Ek LAdki BinA
KApdo Ke Sher Pe SAwAri KArti HAi..
.
PApA: BAhot Ziddi Ho, ChAlo,
BAhut Din Ho GAye, Sher
NAhi DekhA.
`
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TAxi WAlA: BhAi 1 RupyA ChAnge
NAhi HAi, Ye Dekho 1 Rupye WAlA
Video.
PAppu: Ye Le 4gb Memory CArd
With 1000 Videos,
NikAAl 1000 KA Note......###
`
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WhAt Is BreAkup ..........####..........####..........####
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Itz A MAtter Of Time When A
JAAn Becomes JAAnwAr And A
Cutiee Becomes A Kutti.....###
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


MAA: PAppu, KyA KAr RAhe
Ho............####..........####
Me: PAdh RAhA Hu
MAA: Excellent, KyA PAdh
RAhe Ho............####..........####
.
.
Me: AApki Hone WAli
BAhu K Msgs ....

`
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