नॉनवेज चुटकुले 2016


Ye KAsh FAAsle NA HOte, KAsh
Hum Tum Se DOOr NA HOte, KAsh
Hum Aur Tum SAAth HOte, TO Sms
Ke PAise BAcch JAte, Or Hum
DOnO In PAisOO Se KurkurA KhAte!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


GF: HAM BAHuT BADNAAM HO
CHuKe H
AB HAMe SHADi KAR LeNi ChAHiYe
BF: LeKiN ItNi BADNAAMi K
BAAD TuMSe SHADi KAReGA KON....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


JindAgi BehAAl HAi, Sur HAi
NAA TAAl HAi, Msg BOx Bhi
KAngAl HAi, KyA AApki Sms
FActOry Me HAdtAl HAi, YAAr
Kuch TO BhejO Ye Meri, MOBile
Ki ZindAgi KA SAwAAl HAi....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


<('....@@@')>Chingu
<('....@@@')>Pingu
<('....@@@')>Mingu
KyA Ye BAcche Apke HAi,
AgAr NAhi TO AAge Bhej DO,
Jiske HOnge RAkh Lege....@@@
SurAt Mil RAhi Thi TO
LAgA Apke HOnge....@@@....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


''\ /"
| | Help
,/(....@@@"....@@@)\,

LAtkA DiyA NA UltA.....!!!
Is KA KAsur PAtA HAi
KyA ThA Ye Muje Sms
NAhi BhejtA ThA....@@@
Tum Bhi SOch LO....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Wife: Tumhe PyAAr KArnA NAhin
AAtA....@@@
HusBAnd: TO KyA Ye 3 BAchche
Internet Se DOwnlOAd Kiye HAin....@@@.....!!!
Wife: NAhin Ye TO PAdOsi Ke
Pendrive Se Liye HAi....@@@....@@@

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


MAchhAr BOlA InsAAn Se
MAt MArO Hume JAAn Se,
JAng Chhid JAyegi,
DushmAni BAdh JAyegi,
MAnA Ki AAp Me JunOOn H,
PAr HumAri RAgOn Me
Bi TO AAp Hi KA KhOOn....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


TechnOlOgy KyA HAi.....!!!
Ek Time WO ThA JAB Msg,
KAButAr Se Bhejte The....@@@
Or Ek AAj KA Time HAi Hum
Msg, KAButArO KO Bhej Rhe
HAin....@@@....@@@ Hurrrr! Hurrrr!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Height Of AddictiOn:
In A COllege FOrm, When
Asked ABOut The "PermAnent
Address", A Student WrOte
"www....@@@fAceBOOk....@@@cOm"!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Ek AAp HO Kitne Achhe HO
Kitne BhOle HO Kitne PyAre
HO Kitne SmArt HO Kitne Sweet
HO Aur Ek Hum HAi Ki JhOOth
Pe JOOth BOle JA RAhe HAi....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


BOss HAngs A POster In Office
"I Am The BOss, DO NOt FOrget"
He Returns FrOm Lunch,
Finds A Slip On His Desk....@@@
"Ur Wife CAlled,
She WAnts Her POster BAck HOme....@@@"
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Girl TO BOy (In PArty): Excuse Me!
BOy: Yes .....!!!
Girl: Mere Ek HAth Mein PlAte HAi
Aur Ek HAth Mein GlAss, I CAn't
Use Them....@@@....@@@ KyA AAp Mere FAce Pr
Se Ek Cheez HAtA SAkte HAin.....!!! 
BOy (Very HAppy): Ji BOlAin KyA
HAtAAnA HAi .....!!!
....@@@
....@@@ 
Girl: Apni Kutte Jesi NAzArAin!!

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


TeAcher: AnyOne WhO Thinks
He's Stupid MAy StAnd Up!
....@@@
*NOBOdy StAnds Up*
....@@@
TeAcher: Im Sure There Are
SOme Stupid Students Over Here!!
....@@@
*Little JOhnny StAnds Up*
....@@@
TeAcher: Ohh, JOhnny YOu
Think YOu're Stupid .....!!!
....@@@
Little JOhnny: NO....@@@....@@@ I Just
Feel BAd ThAt YOu're StAnding AlOne....@@@....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


ROk DO Mere JAnAze Nu
Mere Vich JAAn As GAi HAi,
SAAlOO Peeche Much Ke DekhO
ShArAB Ke DukAAn AA Gye
HAi....@@@....@@@ Cheers....@@@....@@@....@@@!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Girl1: HOw WAs Ur 1st DAte
Girl2: Gud, &
WO RAes (Rich) GhAr KA LAgtA
HAi
Girl1: WO Kese .....!!!
Girl 2 : Mujhe Kiss KArne
AAyA TAB Uske Muh Se PiyAAz Ki
Smell AA RAhi Thi....@@@....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


AAj Mujhe Ek LAdki Kehti,
Mujhe FAceBOOk Pe Id BAnA
DO, MAine KAhA: Tujhe Id
ChAlAni AAti Bhi HAi KyA....@@@.....!!!.....!!!
....@@@
....@@@
WOh Kehti: ChAlA AAp LenA....@@@....@@@
MAin Picche BAith JAungi LOl
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

BhgwAn Se MAine KhA, Hey
BhgwAn Mujhe DArd De,
SitAm De, Dukh De, TensiOn De,
BhgwAn BOle Kyu GuhmA
FerAA K BOlA RhA HA,
Sidhe Sidhe BOlnA Tujhe
Girlfriends ChiyeA....@@@....@@@....@@@!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Hum DOnO MAin Cute KOn.....!!!
SmArt KOn.....!!! DAshing KOn.....!!!
Sweet KOn.....!!! HAndsOme KOn.....!!!
Ye SAB Tum TO HOO NAhe
SAktAy TO BAchAA KOn....@@@.....!!!

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


HAwA ChhAle LAdke BAhge,
HAwA ChhAle LAdke BAhge,
GAur FArmiyeA,
HAwA ChhAle LAdke BAhge,

HAwA Nhi ChAlte LAdke
Nhi BAhhgte....@@@!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Wife: KAl RAt Tum Mujhey
Neend Mein GAliAn KiOn De
RAhey ThAi.....!!!
HusBAnd: Tumhey GhAlAt Fehmi
HOi HAi....@@@....@@@
Wife: Kesi GhAlAt Fehmi
HusBAnd: Yehi K Mein Neeend
Mein ThA....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


PAgAl HAi WO LOg JO LAdkiyO
KO Miss KArte HAi, Miss KArnA
HA TO MAchhArO KO KArO,
JO JAAn HAteli Pe Rekh KAr
AAp KO Kiss KArte HAi....@@@!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


1 Admi DOstOn Ki Mehfil Se
RAAt LAte GhAr GAyA DOstO
Ne PuchA K Wife Ne Kuch KAhA
TO NAhi Admi BOlA NAhi Kuch
KhAs NAhi Bus Ye 2 DAnt TO MAi
WesAy Bhi NiklwAne WAlA ThA
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


HusBAnd: RAt KO Mene 1 HOrrOr
MOvie Dekhi, 1 ChurAil KABhi
Mere Age KABhi Piche Aur KABhi
SAth ChAl RAhi Thi,
Wife: KAun Si MOvie Thi.....!!!
HusBAnd: Apni ShAdi Ki
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Wife: SunO Ji DOctOr Ne
Mujhe Aik MAheenAy K ArAAm
K Liye BeAutiful FOreign COuntry
JAnAy KO KAhA HAi....@@@

Hum KAhAn JAyen GAy.....!!!
HusBAnd: DOOsrAy DOctOr K PAAs

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


HusBAnd Wife Mein LArAi HOi,
HusBAnd GhAr Se ChAlA GAyA,
HusB: RAt KO PhOne PAy,
KhAnAy Mein KiA HAi
Wife: Zeher....@@@
HusB: MAi DAir Se AOngA,
Tum KhA KAr SO JAnA....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Wife: JAAnu KAsh AAp Sms
HOtAy, MAin AAp KO SAve
KArti,
HusBAnd: JAAn E MAn, KAAsh
Tum Ring TOne HOti, MAin Her
HAftAy Tumhe ChAnge KArtA ;-)
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


TOfAni BArish Mein RAt KO,
ShOp Per 1 Admi PizzA LenAy
AAyA ShOpkeeper: AAp MArried
Hein.....!!! Admin:is TOfAni BArish
Mein KiA Meri MAA Mujhey PizzA
LenAy BhejAy Gi.....!!!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


SunA HA AApke MuskurhAt
PAr HAr KOi MArtA HAi....@@@....@@@
ZArA Time NikAAl Kr AAnA TO 
Ek ChOOhA MAArnA HAi....@@@....@@@....@@@!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


AB 5rs....@@@ Me PAye Ek NAyA
Sim Jisme 20rs....@@@ KA CArd
Se 5000 Sms Free, 8Am TO
8pm ShAre CAll Free FOr
MOre DeitAls LOg On TO jA
ApnA TOwer Khud LAgAle....@@@cOm
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Tere PyAAr Ke ROshni Aise
HAi Ke, HAr TArf UjAAlA
NAzAAr AAtA HA....@@@....@@@ SOchtA Hu
K GhAr Ke Bijle KAtvAA Du
KAmBhkt Bill BAhut AAtA HA....@@@....@@@....@@@!

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Every Girl Needs A BOyfrnd.
BcOz,
EverydAy Every Minute
SOmething GOes WrOng In Her
Life....@@@....@@@ Which She CAnt BlAme
On GOd Or GOverment....@@@!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


I Feel Like HAving Mini HeArt
AttAck....@@@....@@@ When I DOnt Find
My MOBile My POcket....@@@....@@@
And,
Its AlmOst Like HeArt FAil,
When I See It In My FAthers HAnd....@@@....@@@!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Dil TO KrtA H Ki ChhOd JAu
Ye ZAlim DuniyA
Phir KhyAl AtA H Ki Mummy
Ki HOne WAli "BAhu" KA
KyA HOgA.....!!!.....!!!
('¡')/ NA Ji NA
( (
! !
....@@@
PrOgrAm CAncel....@@@....@@@....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


HusBAnd: Sunti HO, Meri MAA AAyi HAi....@@@
Wife: Ye Bhi NA JAB DekhO YAhin AA
JAAti HAi AB KyA KAAm HAi.....!!!
HusBAnd: Are 2kg PyAAj Bhi LAyi HAi....@@@
Wife: AAp Bhi NA....@@@....@@@....@@@ Pehle NAhi BOlnA
ThA MAA AAyi HAin....@@@ KABhi KABhi TO PyAAr
Aur AshirwAAd NAseeB HOtA HAi BAdOn KA....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Hum KAl RAAt AAsmAAn Pe
TumhAre Liye SitAre Lene
GAye PAr KhAli HAth WApAs
AA GAye JAnte HO Q
Qki
POlytheen TO GhAr PAr Hi
Bhul GAye The....@@@ ;-)
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Girls HOstel Me AAg LAg
GAyi, PAs Hi K BOys HOstel
K LAdkO Ne Help Ki....@@@ Tv Pr
News AAyi AAg Pe KABu PA
LiyA GAyA He, Lekin LAdkO PAr
KABu PAne Ki KOshish JAri HAi....@@@

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


MAchhAr BOlA InsAAn Se
MAt MArO Hume JAAn Se,
JAng Chhid JAyegi,
DushmAni BAdh JAyegi,
MAnA Ki AAp Me JunOOn H,
PAr HumAri RAgOn Me Bi
TO AAp Hi KA KhOOn....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


BAhut Muskil HO JAAtA HA
Us WAqt JABAAB DenA
JAB BAndA BAthrOOm Me HO....@@@....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
Aur Girlfrnd POOche Le....@@@....@@@
JAAnu KyA KAr Rhe HO....@@@....@@@.....!!!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


A mAn kills DEER & cOOks it &
dOesnt tell kids whAt it is.....!!!
He gives A Clue....@@@....@@@ 
its whAt ur MOm cAlls me!
SOn ShOuted: KOi mAt
khAnA....@@@....@@@ KUTTA hAi KUTTA!!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


MAchAr KA BAchA Pehli
BAr UdA, JAB WApis AyA
BAAp Ne PuchA.....!!! KAisA LAgA
Udke.....!!! MAchAr BOlA BAhut
AchA PApA, JidhAr Bi GAyA
LOg TAliyA BAjArhe The....@@@....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


ChOtA BAchchA: Uncle GOrA
KArne WAli Kreem HAi .....!!!
DukAndAr: HAn HAi!
ChOtA BAchchAtO: SAle LgAtA
Q NAhi MAi ROj DAr JAtA Hu !
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


('....@@@') LO Ji
<)'(> Arz
_/'/_ KiyA HAi....@@@

DuniA Mein BAhut
DArd E TAnhAi HAi

\('',)/''WAh
\ \ WAh
_/ \_ WAh
ZAlimO Tum B Msg KrO
Meri KyA Muft Ki KAmAi HAi....@@@

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


1 GlAss PAni LO Usme
Neem Ki PAtti DAlO 2
hOurs K Liye RkhdO Phir
10 MingArAm KArke PeelO
JAB KAnjusi K Keede MAr
JAye Fir Sms Kr DenA....@@@....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


DOctOr TO Injured PAtient
JAB CAr Ek LAdy ChAlA RAhi
Thi TO Tumhe ROAd Se Duur
ChAlnA ChAyi ThA....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
PAtient: ABey KOn SA ROAd.....!!!
Me TO PArk Me LetA HuAA ThA....@@@
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


BOOks SAAmne RAkh KAr B
NA PAdhne Dene WAli KAAli
ShAkti KO KyA Kehte HAi.....!!!
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
Ans: MOBile
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


FinAlly,
I TOld My PArents ThAt
I WAnt A BlAckBerry Or An
Apple
My MOther SAid:
....@@@....@@@....@@@
"GhAr Mein MOsAmBi HAi,
Pehle WOh KhA"
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Ek COnductOr Ki ShAdi HO
RAhi Thi, JAB Dulhn PherO
Ke WAqt Uske PAs AkAr
BAithi TO VO BOlA ThOdA
PAs HO K BAith, Ek SAwAri
Or BAith SAkti HAi....@@@ :-)
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Girlfriend Ki Sister AgAr Missed
CAll KAre TO Usse KyA KAhenge…....@@@.....!!!
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
BetAAA....@@@....@@@....@@@
MAnn Me DusrA LAddu PhOOtA....@@@....@@@....@@@

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


KitnA Lucky HOgA WO BOyfriend....@@@
Jiski Girlfriend....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
....@@@
Usse KAhegi: JAAnu Tum PhOne
RAkhO, MAi CAll KArti Hu
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Girl: Fish TAnk KO Dekh K
BOli MAchliyA Itni SundAr
Kyun HOti He.....!!!
....@@@
....@@@
BOy: Sprite Pite Hue Kyunki
WO KApde NAhi PAhnti....@@@....@@@!
Sidhi BAAt NO BAkwAs!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


HumkO TO "BOttle" Ne LOOtA
"PAAvA" Me KhA Dum ThA,
HumAre TO BOttle Bhi FOOte
JAnhA "ThekA" BAnd ThA....@@@....@@@....@@@....@@@!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


DuniyA Me Kuch Aise
GAdhe HAi, jinhe HAr SAwAl
KA JAwAB sirf NA Mein
DenA AtA HAi, kyA AAp
Bhi Un Me Se Ek HAi .....!!!
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


UpAr WAle Ne ApkO BhejA TO
BhejA PAr BhejA TO AisA
BhejA K Bheje Me BhejA Hi
NAhi BhejA DOnt Mind Ye Mujhe
Kisi Or Ne BhejA TO Mene
ApkO BhejA DekhA MerA BhejA
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


3 MOst Difficult Things
TO DO In The WOrld....@@@....@@@
1....@@@ YOu CAnt COunt Ur HAir....@@@

2....@@@ YOu CAnt WAsh YOur Eyes
With SOAp....@@@

3....@@@ YOu CAnt BreAthe When
YOur TOngueis Out....@@@....@@@

NOw PleAse Put Ur TOngue
BAck Inside....@@@....@@@

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


No comments:

Post a Comment