हिंदी में मज़ेदार चुटकुले 2016


SunA HAi AApki Ek MuskAn
Pr Hr Koi MArtA HAi, ZArA
Time NikAAl Ke AAyiye To....?
Ek ChuhA MArwAnA HAi....? BAhut
Din Se PAreshAn KAr RAkhA HAi....?

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Hello Dosto....?....?
NiyAm AnusAr KAbhi Bhi LAgAtAr
30 Dino TAk Apni Sim Se Sms
Nhi Kroge To Apki Sim Ki SewAien
RAdd KAr Di JAyegi....? Sms KArne
WAle GrAhAko K Liye Ye MAnyA NAhi....?
`
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MArne K BAAd HAmAre NAsib
Me JAnnAt Ho NA Ho, Ye FizA
Ye HAwA Ho NA Ho Are YAr....?....?
JindA H TAb TAk To Sms Bejo
KyA PAtA HAmAri KAbAr Me
Network Ho NA Ho Kucch To Kro?
`
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('....?') Lo Ji
<)'(> Arz
_/'/_ KiyA HAi....?
DuniA Mein BAhut
DArd E TAnhAi HAi
\('',)/''WAh
\ \ WAh
_/ \_ WAh
ZAlimo Tum B Msg Kro
Meri KyA Muft Ki KAmAi HAi....?
`
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Chuhe KA ChehrA SuhAAnA
LAgtA HAi, ChuhiyA KA To
Dil DeewAnA LAgtA HAi, PAl
BhAr MAin KAise KutArte
HAi KApde, Ab To HAr
KApdAA PurAnA LAgtA HAi....?...##
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BhAiyo Sochne Ke BAAt HAi,
Agr AAj HumArA Desh AAzAd
Nhi HotA To, To Kuch Nhi
BhAi Angrez Bhi Yehi Hote
Aur, Hum Bhi Kise Goore
MAdAm Ke AAshiq Hote....?....?....?...##
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MAster Jee Bole BAChho Se
Koi Ashiqi WAlA Sher SunAoo....?....?
Student: KuttA MArtA HAdee Pe
BhukAA MArtA Roti Pe....?....?
MAster Jee AAp Ke Do LAdkiyA
PAr MAin To MArtA Chooti Pe...##
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Jb Hme Neend AAti H, Or Nindo
Me KhwAb AAte H, Tb KwAbo
Me AAp, Sirf AAp AAte H,
Pr Jb Apke SAth Apke BAAp
AAte H, Tb NA To Neend AAti
H Or NA Hi KhwAb AAte H....?
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A MAn Got A CAll From Unknown
Number....?....?
Girl: Hi, R U Single ?
MAn: Yes, But Who R U ?
Ans: Your Wife....?....?
AAj GhAr AAnA TAb BAtAoogi....?....?
Another CAll From Unknown Number....?....?
Girl: R U MArried ?
MAn: Yes, But Who R U ?
Girl: Your Girlfriend, U CheAt....?....?
MAn: sorry BAby, I Thought It
WAs My Wife....?....?
Ans: wife Hi Hoon Kutte,
AAj Tu BAs GhAr AAjA
`
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A CompAny Employee Went To
Toilet....? As Soon As He SAt On
The SeAt, On The Front WAll
This WAs Written: HAd You Put
The SAme Pressure At Work,
CompAny's TArgets Would HAve
Been AChieved TodAy....?....?
`
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BAnAne WAle Ne Ek Dost
Mere Liye BAnAyA, Jise
AAp Ke Roop MAin MAine
PAAyA, Jo Mere Dil MAin
AisA SAmAyA, JAise PorAni
HAveli MAin Bhoot KA SAAyA...##
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Beeti Hui ZindAgi Ke BAs
Itni Se KAhAni HAi, Kuch
Khud BArbAAd Hue, Kuch
WhAtsAAp Aur Kuch FACebook
Ke MehArbAni HAi....?....?...##
`
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Aunty SAid To My Mom
Meri LAdki BtA Rhi Thi K
TmhArA LAdkA RAAt 2-3 Bje
Tk FACebook Use KArtA HAi
....?
....?
My Mom Simply SAid, AApki
LAdki Ko KAise PtA ? RAAt
2 Bje Use SApne AAte HAi....?....?

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Mujhe Sms Pe Sms KAro
Aur Jeeto, 10 LAkh Ki
CAr KA Photo, 29 Inch Tv
KA Box UsA JAnAy WAlAy
JAhAz Ko Bye Bye KArne
KA MAuqA, Mere SAAth
Dinner Wo Bhi AApke GhAr....?....?
`
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Ek GAdhA 2 Feet Ki RAssi
Se BndhA HuA ThA, BAtAo
Wo 7 Feet Door Pri GhAAs
Kese KhAye GA? HAAr MAAn Li ?
GAdhAy Ne Bhi MAAn Li Thi....?
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JAb Tumhe Dekho MerA Dil
StArt Flying, Tumse BAAt
KAren Ko I Keep Trying,
JAb Tum Door JAo I Feel
Like Crying, Are ItnA
Tension MAt Le I WAs Lying...##
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AlwAys Keep Ur Lovers
Photo In Ur Purse....?....?
Whenever U Are In Big
Trouble, See The Photo....?....?
U'll Feel No Problem
Bigger ThAn ThAt....?....?...##
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UnderstAnding A Girl Is
Like....?....? DownloAding A 1GB
File With 2KBPS Speed....?....?
And,
When U HAve DownloAded
95%....?....? U'll Get An Error....?....?...##
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WhAt Is Difference Between
GhAzAl And Lecture....?....??
Every Word Spoken By Others
Wife Is GhAzAl....?....?
And,
Every Word Spoken By
Own Wife Is Lecture....?....?...##

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NepAli: SAAb Ye ShAAm Singh KA
Mobile KAhA MilegA?
....?
SAlesmAn: PAtA NAhi
....?
NepAli: SAAb Ji Tv Me Ad To
Isi DukAn KA HAi....?
....?
SAlesmAn: Abey SAley Ye
ShAm Singh NAhi, SAmsung HAi...##
`
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My Pillow Is My Best HAir
Styler....?....?
Every Morning I WAke Up
With A New HAirstyle...##...##...##
`
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Yun To HAAm HAin BAl
BrAhAmchAri, ZAhA LArki
Dekhi AAkh MAri, PAt
GAi To HAmAri, WArnA Fir
Se BAl BrAmhchAri....?
`
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HusbAnd Apni SAAs Se:
Apki Beti Mein To
HAzAron KAmiyAn HAin....?
SAAs: HAAn BetA,
Isi VAjAh Se To Use
AChchA LAdkA NAhi MilA....?....?
`
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TeAChAr: BAtAo AisA KAun SA
JAgh HAi Jise BAnAtA To HAi
AAdmi Leki WAh WAhAn NAhi JAtA
RupAm: Sir, LAdis Toilet
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AAnkhe Hirni JAisi, ChAAl
NAgin JAisi, Morni JAisi
GArdAn HAi Teri...## Ye To
BAtA TumhAre AndAr
InsAno WAli KyA BAAt HAi....?

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TechAr: Student Se LofAr
Aur Offer Me KyA AntAr HAi,
Student: Agr LAdkA I Love
U Bole To LofAr, Aur Agr
LAdki Bole To Offer...##
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DevdAs Ki TArAh JAAn MAt Do
YAAro....?....? PyAr Ko LAAt MAAro
YAAro....?....? Meri BAAt MAAno YAAro,
NA ChAndrAmukhi NA PAAro....?....?
Roz RAAt Ek Kingfisher MAAro,
Aur ChAin Se Zndgi GuzAAro....?....?...##
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Ek WAqt ThA JAb AApke Msg Aise
AAte ThAy, JAise Kisi Ne AAp
Ke SAr Pe Pistol RAkhi Hui HAi,
Aur AAp Se Sms KArwA RAhA HAi....?....?
MAgAr Ab To LAgtA HAi Kisi
Ne AAp Ko Goli Hi MAAr Di HAi...##
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KyA HAlAt Ho GAyi HAi ZAmAne
Ki, SAb Ki AAdAt Ho GAyi HAi
PAise BAChAne Ki....?....? Sms To CompAny
Ne KAb Ke SAste KAr Diye,
PAr FitrAt NAhi BAdli
TumhAri ChillAr BAChAne Ki....?....?
`
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RAj In Hotel, MAi YAhA NAhi
RAhungA Mere PAise WApAs
KAro....?....? ItnA ChotA Room Mujhe
JAnwAr SAmjhA HAi KyA....?....??
WAiter: Mere BAAp, Room Me
ChAl Ye Lift HAi....?....?...##
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BetA: PApA Ye Sms Kisi Kehte
HAin, Aur Ye Kis Ke KAAm
AAtA HAi?
PApA: BetA Ye Vip Log Bhejte
HAin Aur KAnjoos Logo Ke
PAdhne Ke KAAm AAtA HAi....?...##


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Ek AAdmi God Se: Tune BAChpAn
DiyA Cheen LiyA, JAwAni DiyA
Cheen Le, PAise Diye WApis Le
Liye, Ek Biwi Bhi
De HAi LenA Bhul GyA KyA....?....?....??
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Dost Ruthe To RAb Ruthe,
Fir Ruthe To JAg Chute,
Aur Agr Fir Ruthe To....?....?....?
UtAAr ChppAl MAAr SAAle Ko
JAb TAk Ke ChAppAl NA Toote...##
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Girlfriend Or Boyfriend Ke
Ek He School Me SAth PAdhne
Se KyA FAydA HotA HAi....??
Socho....?....? Aur Socho....?....?
Ans: AttendAnce 100% HotA HAi....?
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PrincipAl: ClAss Ke SAAre BACche
Time Se AA JAAte HAi But Tum
Roz LAte AAte Ho Kyu....?....??
Student: Sir , Jhund Me To Kutte
AAte HAi, SHER
To HumesA AkelA He AAtA HAi....?....?...##
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In ExAm TeACher SAid: Write Ur
Lovers NAme On PAper
After 5 Sec All Girls SAid:
Finished MAdAm After 1 Hour All
Boys SAid: ExtrA Sheet Plzzz
Thoko Like Boys K Liye
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Pehli NAzAr Mein LAgA Wo
Mere HAi, AAnkhe Uske Jheel
Se GehAri HAi, PArpose KAr
KAr Ke TAhAk GAyA, TAb JAAke
JAAnA Ke Woh BehAri HAi....?....?....?...##

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BetA: MAA Hum DiwAli Ke SAre
PAthke Is DukAAn Se Lenge....?....?
MAA: BetA Ye DukAAn Nhi
Girls Hostel HAi....?....?
Boy: PAr PApA To KehtA HAi
YAhA Ek Se Ek PAtAkhe HAi....?....?...##
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Ek KAbutAr Behosh Ho GAyA,
Admi Ne Use GhAr Le JA
KAr Pinjre Me RAkhA,
KAbutAr Ko Hosh AiyA To
BolA "AAilA JAil"...## Woh
CAr WAlA MAr GAyA KyA??
`
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AAnkhon Me AAnsu AA JAAte
HAin, Fir Bhi LAbon Pe HAnsi
RAkne PAdhte HAi, Ye HAAl
TAb HotA HAi JAb LAmbe SAfAr
Me SUSU Rokne PAdhtA HAi....?...##
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DulhA RomAntic AndAz Me
BolA MAy I Kiss U DArling ?
....?
DulhAn ShArmAtAe Hue Boli
Humne To KAbhi GAiro Ko Bhi
MAnAA NAi KiyA,
AAp Toh Fir Bhi Apne Ho....?....?
`
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Ek ShAdi Me Ek LAdkA 1 LAdki Ko,
BAhut DhyAn Se Dekh RhA ThA....?
Girl: Impress HokAr Kyo Dekh
Rhe Ho Itni Der Se....?....?
Boy: I WAs Thinking AgAr AAp
Meri Mummy Hoti To,
MAi Bhi KitnA SundAr HotA....?
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RAm: AgAr TumhAre PAs 15 Apple
HAi, Usme Se 6 AArti Ko 4
PriyA Ko Aur 4 TAnu Ko De Do
To Tumhe KyA Milenge,
ShyAm: 3 New Girl Friend....?....?

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HusbAnd: KAl Mere KhAwAb MAin
Ek LArki Aye Thi....? WAh...## KyA
LArki Thi...##
Wife: Akeli Ayee Hogi?
HusbAnd: Tum Ko Kese PAtA?
Wife: UskA HusbAnd Mere
KhAwAb MAin AyA ThA...##
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Khusi Ke Liye AAnsou KurbAAn,
HAnsi Ke Liye Gum KurbAAn,
Dost Ke Liye JAAn KurbAAn,
Agr Dost Ke Girlfend Mil JAAye,
To SAAlA Dosti Bhi KurbAAn...##...##
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Koi New Msg HAi KyA, AgAr H
To Us PAr DAbur Honey LAgA K,
Din Me Do BAr ChAAto, Kyuki
Send To KAroge NAhi....? KAm
Se KAm Thodi SehAt To BAnegi....?
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If U Cry On Seeing The
Question PAper, It Is
An Insult But If TeACher
Cries On Seeing Ur Answer
PAper, It Is Ur AChievement....?
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A MAn In Hell Asked Devil
CAn I MAke A CAll To My
Wife....?....?? After MAking CAll
He Asked How Much To PAy....?....?
Devil, Nothing
Hell To Hell Is Free....?....?...##
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Frnds Are Like PriyA Gold
Biscuit, HAq Se MAAngo....?....?
Girlfrnds Are Like Pepsi,
Ye Dil MAAnge More....?....?
Wife Is Like A Medicine,
BAs Ek Hi KAAfi HAi....?....?...##
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Do U Know The MeAning
Of Wife....?....??
It MeAns Without InformAtion
Fighting Everytime....?....?...##
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ShAAm Hote He Ye Dil UdAAs
HotA HAi, Toote KhAwbo Ke
SiwA Kuch NA PAAs HotA HAi,
TumhAri YAAd Aise WAqt
BAhut AAte HAi, JAb BAndAr
Koi AAs PAAs HotA HAi....?....?...##
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Apne Mobile Ko FACewAsh
LAgkAr GArm PAni Se
DhokAr Kumkum Aur ChAwAl
LAgkAr MAndir MAin ChAdA
Do Kyuki Sms To AAp
KArte Nhi To PujA KAro....?
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Tu Ek BAAr Roothi To MAnAenge
Tu DubArA Roothi To Phir
MAnAenge Agr Fir Roothi Fir
MAnAenge, Agr Tu BAAr BAAr
Roothi To KAAn Ke Neeche 2
LAgAenge, Aur Tujhse
Milne SAb HospitAl AAyenge....?....?....?....?...##
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Ek AAdmi MedicAl Shop PAr
Zeher Lene GyA....?....?....?
AAdmi: Ek ZehAr Ki Bottle DenA
DukAndAr: BinA PArchi K
ZehAr Nhi Mil SktA....?
AAdmi Ne ShAdi KA CArd DikhAyA....?....?
DukAndAr: BAs Kr PAgle, RulAyegA
KyA? BAdi Bottle Du YA Chhoti?
`
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