Crazy Life Quotes on facebook


When a newly married man looks happy...
we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy...
we wonder why...

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Wrestling is obviously fake. 
Why would two people fight over a belt 
when neither of them are wearing pants...?

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Sorry about those texts I sent you last night... 
my phone was drunk...?

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We are WTF generation .... WhatsApp... 
Twitter and Facebook :D

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Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

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It's been 70+ years, Tom. You're never going to eat Jerry...

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I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone....

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There's like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. 
I hate this world ... huh

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Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make a bad person.

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I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, it's still not enough ;)

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My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz

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The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight :)

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I am not addicted to WHATS APP. 
I only use it when I have time ....... 
lunch time, break time, bed time, this time...
that time, any time, all the time.....

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Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

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The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is "Salary is Credited"

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Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

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Years of education, solving tough problems, 
handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.....


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Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

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In bed, it's 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school it's 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31

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I wonder what happens when doctor's wife eats an apple a day...

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GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

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I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep...

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I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.

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I love my job only when I'm on vacation.....

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Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

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Life is Short - Chat Fast...

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If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

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How can i miss something i never had...

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Hey there whatsapp is using me.

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Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. 
Boys use photoshop to show their creativity...

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Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call... 
Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day...

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Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

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You can never buy Love....
But still you have to pay for it ..

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If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I'll tell you more.

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Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status...

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I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me...

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A bank is a place that will lend you money...
if you can prove that you don't need it....

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My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death....

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When I'm a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. 
When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians...

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Whoever says "Good Morning" on Monday's deserves to get slapped...

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Mosquitos are like family....
Annoying but they carry your blood....

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Funny Status for Whatsapp Facebook

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Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

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Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

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I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes...

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Save water drink beer.

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Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...
it's called #Monday, please fix it....

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Always wear cute pajamas to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

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God is really creative... 
i mean ..just look at me :P

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Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

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When I'm on my death bed, 
I want my final words to be 
"I left one million dollars in the...

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I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

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My father always told me, 'Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.

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Life is too short smile while you still have teeth...

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My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

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If College has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)

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I'm Jealous Of My Parents... I'll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

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Here my dad comes on whatsapp... 
From now on my status would be '
***no status***' or just a smiley...

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Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

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I Like to study.. Arithmetic - NO ...
 world history - NO .... chemistry - NO .... GIRLS - YES!!!

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Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P

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People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

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In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan...

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C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping..

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Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)

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Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

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People who exercise live longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

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Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

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It may look like I'm deep in thought....
but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what food to eat later.

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Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you're going to die.

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Boys, if you don't look like calvin klein models, 
don't expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. 
(From All Bachelor Girls Association).....

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I have enough money to last me the rest of my life....
unless I buy something...

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TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED..

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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide....

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Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

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At least mosquito's are attracted to me.

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Funny Status Quotes for Whatsapp Facebook

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Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

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I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

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When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you.....?

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Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D

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Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour's wife; And beer as COLD as your own....?

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My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

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If you love someone, set them free. 
If they come back, nobody else wanted them either...

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Today's Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

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I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.

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A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

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When a woman says WHAT? 
Its not because she didn't hear you....
She's giving you a chance to change what you said.,,,

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My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

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One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions....

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I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice...

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If time does not wait for you, don't worry.....
Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life....

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If school has taught us anything, it's texting without looking...

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I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them....

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All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

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Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

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Excuse me .... Plesae empty your pockets .... I think you stole my heart.

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I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi...

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I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat....

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