Funny Chutkule and हिंदी चुटकुले

Son To DAd: PApA, Mein ItnA
BAdA KAb HoungA Ki Mein Mummy
Se BinA Puche BAhAr JA SAku?
PApA: BetA Abhi ItnA
BAdA To Mein Bhi NAhi HuA...?...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


PAtni KA Honth UpAr Se ThodA
KAt GAyA..........$$$$ Doctor Ne DAwAi LAgAAkAr
TAAnke LAgA Diye PAti ChupchAp
DekhtA RAhA Phir Usne Doctor Ke
KAAn Me KAhA Doctor SAAhAb, Dono
Hontho Ko TAAnke LAgAAkAr
Seene Ki AAp Kitni Fees Lenge
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


ShAdi Do TArAh Ki Hoti HAi
Ek ArrAnge MAriAge, JAhAn
GhAr Ke SAre Log Mil KAr Koi
PurAnA BAdlA Lete HAi Aur
GAddhe Mein DAl Dete HAin..........$$$$
Aur DusrA Love MArriAge JAhAn
BAndA Khud Se BAdlA LetA HAin..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


ChAAhtA Hu Tujhe PyAAr
Du, Dost Pe Apni JindAgee
WAAr Du, JAb TerA MessAge
NAhi MilAtA To, MAn KArtA
HAi Teri JAAn NikAAl Du..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Yeh Jo HAsinAo Ke BAAl Hote
HAi, lAdko Ko FAsAne Ke JAAl
Hote HAi, pee JAti HAi SArA
Khoon LAdko KA, tAbhi To
GAAl Itne LAAl Hote HAin..........$$$$..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Teri YAAd Mein Humne KAlAm
UthAAyi LiyA PAper Aur
TAsveer Teri BAnAyi SochA
ThA Ki Usko Dil Se LAgA
KAr RAkhenge MAgAr Vo To
BAccho Ko DrAAne Ke KAAm AAyi..........$$$$

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


PyAr KArnewAle PAreshAn Ho
JAte HAi, ShAdi KArnewAle
ShArAbi BAn JAte HAi, Divorce
Dene WAle DevdAs BAn JAte
HAi, Hum Se Dosti KArAne
WAle Sms Expert Ho JAte HAi..........$$$$..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


School TeAcher Sent Home A
Note..........$$$$ Your Son Is An Obedient
& Bright Student But Spends
Too Much Time With Girls..........$$$$
Mother Sent A Note BAck:
PleAse Advise A Solution...?
FAther HAs The SAme Problem..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


NAzre Mile JAb Wo Akele
Thi, Dosti Hue JAb SAth SehAli
Thi, PyAr GyA To Wo Pehle
Thi, Dusro Ke SAth BhAAg To
PAtA ChAlA YAAron, Wo Us AereA
Ke Chikni Chmeli Thi..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Ek PAti Ne Apni PAtni Se KAhA
JAnu Tum Meri ZindAgi Ho
Tum Meri HAr Khushi Ho..........$$$$..........$$$$ PAtni
Khush Ho KAr Boli Aur KAr
KAho NA..........$$$$ PAti Aur KyA KAhu LAnAt
HAi Aisi Zindgi Pe JAhA Khushi
Se Achhi LAgti Khudkhushi Ho..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Lions Sleep 18 Hrs A DAy But,
A Donkey Work 18hrs A DAy..........$$$$
If HArdwork Is Secret To
Success, Then Donkey Would
HAve Been King Of Jungle..........$$$$
Be LAzy..........$$$$..........$$$$ Think CrAzy...?...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Girl: KAl Mein TumhAre Liye
RAkhi LAyi Thi..........$$$$ Tumne BAndhwAi
Kyun NAhi?
Boy: AgAr KAl Mein Tere Liye
MAngAlsutrA LAu To KyA Tu
Pehen Legi? BAAAt KArti HAi..........$$$$

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


NAA Dekh AAsmAn Ko Itni
HAsrAt Se..........$$$$ Ae Dost Kisi
PArinde Ne Muh Pe GustAkhi
KAr Di..........$$$$ To SAri HAsrAto
KA JAnAzA NikAl JAyegA..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Koi New Msg HAi KyA, AgAr H
To Us PAr DAbur Honey LAgA
K, Din Me Do BAr ChAAto,
Kyuki Send To KAroge NAhi..........$$$$ KAm
Se KAm Thodi SehAt To BAnegi..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Ak MAchchAr AAndhi Me FAs GAyA
ThA, Usne Ak Ped Ko PAkAd
RAkhA ThA, AAndhi BAnd Hone PAr
PAsine Pochhtey HuA, MAchchAr
KAhne LAgA, AAj Agr MAi NA
HotA To Ye Ped Gir Hi JAtA..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


PAdosi: YAAr Tere GhAr Se
Roz HAnsi Ki AwAz AAti HAi
Is Khush HAAl ZindAgi KA
RAAz KyA HAi?
AAdmi: Meri Biwi Mujhe Jooton
Se MAArti HAi, LAg JAAy To Wo
HAnsti HAi, NA LAge To MAin HAnstA
Hoon..........$$$$ KhudA KA ShukAr HAi, HAnsi
Khushi ZindAgi GuzAr RAhi HAi..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Sometimes Things Look So
RomAntic In Hindi Like:
Mein Kho GAyA Hun Tere
PyAr Mein, Ab Tum B Kho JAo..........$$$$..........$$$$
Now Try In English: Im Lost
In Ur Love, Now U Get Lost..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


4 KAm KAro,

1..........$$$$ Fone Ko Switch Of KAro
2..........$$$$ BAttery Kholo
3..........$$$$ Sim CArd NikAlo
4..........$$$$ Ab Fone Ko RoAd Pe De MAro
JAb Koi Msg Hi NAhi KArnA To
Fone Ki KyA JArurAt HAi AApko...?

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


NokrAni: MAdAm AApke Bete
Ne MAcchAr KhA LiA,
MAdAm: Toh JAldi Se Docter
Ko BulA NokrAni: Ab DArne
Ki Koi BAAt NAhi..........$$$$
MAine All Out...? PilA DiyA..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


2 Frnds Sitting In A Boring
Lecture..........$$$$..........$$$$ 1st Frnd: It's So
Boring Even My Bums HAv
FAllen Asleep..........$$$$ 2nd Frnd: YA
I HeArd Them Snoring Twice..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


SApne Ke TArhA AApko SAjA
Ke Rkhu, ChAndni RAAt Ke
NAzAro Se AAp Ko Chup Ke
Rkhu, MerA NAseeb Mere SAth
Nhi WArnA, Mujhe SmS NA KArne
WAlo Ko MAin Apne
SAmne MurngA BAnA Ke Rkhu..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


CAller: Hello PizzA Hunt ??
PizzA Hunt: Yes Sir
CAller: 1 LArge PizzA, 2 SmAll
PizzA Aur Ek Coke Bhejo
PizzA Hunt: Kiske NAAm Pe Bheju Sir?
CAller: AllAh Ke NAAm Pe Dede BAbA…
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


MAcher MAkki Ki Ho GAye ShAdi
PAhie He Din Ho GAye MAcher
Ke BArbAd MAcher BolA Mere
KismAt Hi Kohti H MAkki
Good Night LAgA KAr Soti HAi..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Oye Mil GyA, Mil GyA, 
Il GyA, HAA HAA Mil GyA,
BAlle BAlle Mil GyA,
Dhinchk Dhinchk Mil GyA,
ApnA KAAm Chod K MerA SMS
PdhnewAlA BewAkuf Mil GyA..........$$$$

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


DeAr Subscriber, Ur Due
DAte To TAke BAth For This
Month Is TodAy, Plz TAke
BAth By Due DAte To Avoid
Khujli And DAndruf..........$$$$..........$$$$...? ThAnks
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


SipAhi: Sir KAl JAil MAi RAmlilA
Hui Thi..........$$$$ JAiler: To IsmAi GhAbrAne
Ki KyA BAAt HAi? SipAhi: BAAt Ye
HAi Ki SANJEEVNI BUTI Lene GAye
HAnumAn Ji Abhi TAk WApAs Nhi Aye HAi..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


PitA: Beti Tu Mujhe BAtA de
K Tere Pet Me Jo BAcchA He
Wo KiskA He?
Beti: AgAr AApko 25 Kele KhilAkAr
Puche K AApko SArdi Kis Kele Se
Hui To KyA AAp BAtA PAyenge..........$$$$..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Phone BAjA
HusbAnd: AgAr Phone
Mere Liye Ho To KehnA
MAin GhAr Pe NAhi Hu..........$$$$
..........$$$$
..........$$$$
..........$$$$
Wife: Woh GhAr Pe HAin..........$$$$..........$$$$
..........$$$$
HusbAnd: Mene MAnA
KiyA ThA NA, MAnA KAr
DenA..........$$$$..........$$$$
..........$$$$
Wife: Phone AApkA NAhi
MerA ThA…:p
SAmAjh Me AA GyA Ho To
Like KAro..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


NAukrAni: MAlkin AAp UdAAs
Kyo HAi..........$$$$..........$$$$
MAlkin: TumhAre SAhAb Apne
Office Ki Kisi LAdki Se PyAr
KArte HAin..........$$$$..........$$$$
NAukrAni: NAhii, SAhAb Mujhe
DhokhA NAhi De SAkte..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Income TAx Officer HAns RAhA ThA..........$$$$
Clerk: KyA HuA ???
Officer: Sunny Leon Ki File HAi..........$$$$
Clerk: Toh ???
Officer: KApde Phenti NAhi HAi,
Aur LAundry Bill 11 LAcs BAtAyA HAi..........$$$$...?

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


I HAte It Wen Any1 Hurts
My Friends..........$$$$..........$$$$ Bcoz, Wen They
R Hurt, They Bcum SAd &
Wen They Bcum SAd..........$$$$..........$$$$ Phr To
BAs Over-Acting Dekh Lo Unki...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


LAdy TechAr: ChAlo BetA,
Iss Line Ko Do LAfzo Me
Bolo, MAin AApse PyAr KArtA Hoon
Studet: Soory, MAm,
..........$$$$
Teri Mere, Mere Tere Prem
KhAni HAi Mushkil, Do LAfzo
Me Ye BAyAA NA Ho PAAye..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


AApki Girlfriend JAb Bhi,
AApko Koi RomAntic SMS KAre,
To Ye MAt Sochiye Ki,
KitnA RomAntic HAi,
BAlke Ye Sochiye Ke,
Uske PAAs Ye SMS AAyA KhA Se,
"JAAGO AASHIQ JAAGO"
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Bestfrnd Wo HAi Jo School
Me Apne Pen, High School
Me Apne Note, CollAge Me
Bike, Aur Life Me Apne Wife
De De, MAin JAAntA Hu Tu
He MerA Best Frnd HAi..........$$$$..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


PAtni Mobile, PAti SimcArd,
Dono Mile To HuA RechArge,
BetA HuA To Incoming,
Beti Hui To Outgoing,
Twins Hue To Bonus TAlktime,
Kuch NA HuA To Network ProblAm...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


ShAAdi KArnA ThA PAr KismAt
Khuli Nhi, TAJMAHAL BnAnA
ThA PAr MUMTAZ Mile Nhi,
Ab KismAt Khuli, ShAAdi Hue,
Ab TAJ BnAnA ChAhte HAi
PAr Ye MUMTAZ MArte NAhi...?...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Court Me PAti TAlAk Ke Liye
GyA..........$$$$..........$$$$ PAti Judge Se BolA:
Sir I M Not HAppy With My
Wife..........$$$$..........$$$$..........$$$$ To PAtni Bole:
KAmine SAArA MohAllA Khus HAi
BAs Tere He NAkhre HAi..........$$$$..........$$$$...?...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Ek FAmily Shole Film Dekh
KAr Apne GhAr AAye..........$$$$..........$$$$..........$$$$ TAbhi
PAti Ne PAtni Se RomAntic
AAndAz Me KhA NAAch BAsAnti
NAAch..........$$$$..........$$$$ TAbhi UnkA ChootA
BAcchA BolA Mummy Is
Kutte Ke SAmne MAt NAchnA..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


1 LAdke Ne, 1 HAseen Ko Dekh
Ke Arz KiyA, Teri Smile Me
KyA ChAmAk HAi, LAdki MuskurA
Ke Bole..........$$$$ BhAiyA..........$$$$..........$$$$..........$$$$ Mere
TOOTHPASTE Me NAmAk HAi..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


ThokAr KhA KAr Gun GunA
Hi ZindAgi HAi, Gum Pee
KAr MuskurAnA Hi ZindAgi
HAi, 1 LAdki Agr DhokA De
De To SAb Kuch Bhool KAr,
Dusri Ko PAtAnA Hi ZindAgi HAi..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Apne Khoon Se Likh DiyA
HAr DewAAr Pe UskA NAAm,
Phir HAr Wo DewAAr Thod
DiyA, Jispe LikhA ThA
UskA NAAm Kyuki, Splleling
MistAke Thi YAAr..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Wife: U HAd Lunch ?
HusbAnd: (In A Fun Mood) U HAd Lunch ?
Wife: I'm Asking U..........$$$$
HusbAnd: I'm Asking U..........$$$$
Wife: R U Copying Me ?
HusbAnd: R U Copying Me ?
Wife: Lets Go Shopping..........$$$$
HusbAnd: I HAd Lunch..........$$$$

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


PApA: Arre AAj TumhAri Mummy
Itni Chup ChAp Kyun BAithi Hui
HAi Son: Kuch NAhin PApA, Mummy
Ne Lipstick MAAngi Aur MAine
GAlAti Se Fevistick De Di..........$$$$
PApA: (With TeArs In Eyes) KAmAAl
KAr DiyA YAAr, God Bless You...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Somewhere Someone Is Surely
MAde For U, And God HAs
Decided A Perfect Time To
MAke U Meet ThAt Person..........$$$$..........$$$$ Till
Then, Enjoy Ur Own Settings..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


HusbAnd: Apne Chehre Se
Julfe HAtAlo..........$$$$..........$$$$
Wife: SAjnA AAp Bhi NA..........$$$$..........$$$$
HusbAnd: Agli BAAr KhAne Me
BAAl AyA To MAA KAsAm Tuje
SAjni Se GAjni BAnA DungA..........$$$$..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Wo PyAr To KArte HAin PAr
QAbool NAhi KArte, Wo YAAd
To KArte HAin PAr ZAAhir
NAhi KArte..........$$$$..........$$$$ Is KAdAr
KAnjoos HAi Mere Mehboob,
Wo Missed CAll To KArte
HAin PAr CAll NAhi KArte...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Govt KA NAyA Rule..........$$$$..........$$$$
Jiske 5 BAcche Ho Use GhAr
MilegA..........$$$$ PApu Ke 3 The..........$$$$ Usne
Wife Se KAhA PAdos Ke 2 Mere
HAi Unko Leke AAtA Hoon..........$$$$..........$$$$...?...?
(LAAne Ke BAAd)
PAppu: Apne 3 KAhA Gye?
Wife: Jinke The Woh Le Gye..........$$$$..........$$$$...?...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Girl: BhAiyA Mujhe Mobile
Me Mp3 Songs DAlwAne HAi..........$$$$..........$$$$
Mobile Shop WAlA: Memory
CArd HAi KyA ??
Girl: Memory CArd To NAhi
HAi, RAsAn CArd YA
AAdhAr CArd ChAlegA KyA???

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%



PAppu KA Interview:
BAtAo Wo KAun Si AurAt HAin
Jisko 100% PAtA HotA HAin
Ki UskA HusbAnd KAhA HAin ?
PAppu Ne ApnA KhAtArnAk DimAg
LAgAyA Or BolA VidhwA AurAt..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


AAj KAl Ek ShArif AAdmi
Ko KyA ChAhiye..........$$$$..........$$$$ Ek Biwi
Jo PyAr KAre..........$$$$..........$$$$ Ek Biwi Jo
AcchA KhAnA BAnAye..........$$$$..........$$$$
Ek Biwi Jo Uske SewA KAre..........$$$$..........$$$$
Aur Teeno BiwiyA Mil JulkAr
Rhe..........$$$$..........$$$$ Aur KyA Fir Life
Ek Dum..........$$$$..........$$$$ BindAAs..........$$$$..........$$$$
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


LAdki: Agr MAin MAr JAu
To Tum KyA KAroge?
LAdkA: MAin Bhi MAr JAungA..........$$$$..........$$$$
LAdki: ItnA PyAr KArte
Ho Mujhse..........$$$$..........$$$$?
LAdkA: PyAr VyAr Kuch Nhi Tere
ChkkAr Me UdhAri Itne Ho
Gye Ki JeenA Muskil HAi..........$$$$..........$$$$...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


TechAr PApuA Se..........$$$$..........$$$$
TechAr: AgAr Koi Moti LAdki
PAlAt Ke WApis AAye To Iss
Sentense Ko
English Me KyA KehAnge?
..........$$$$
..........$$$$
..........$$$$
..........$$$$
PApu: GOL MAAL RETURNS...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


LAdy TeAcher: Mujhe BAchon
Ki ShAkAl Se PAtA LAg
JAAtA HAi Ki Unke DimAg
MAi KyA ChAl RAhA HAi..........$$$$
Student: Fir Bhi Ap ApnA
DupAttA SAhi NAhi Kr RAhi Ho...?
`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%


Money CAn Buy A House Not
Home, A Bed But Not Sleep,
Medicine But Not HeAlth..........$$$$..........$$$$
Money Is Dirty It Only CAuses
PAin And Suffering..........$$$$..........$$$$ Send Me
All Ur Money And Be HAppy..........$$$$..........$$$$...?

`
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

No comments:

Post a Comment