funny shayari 2



Father....###
Beta zara Apna Mobile To Dena
Son ....###
G Abu h 1 Min Abhi On kar ke Deta Hun
G.F Pic Delete
Girls  List Delete
Phone Calls Recieved Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Memory Card Format
Son -
Ye Lein Abu
Father -
Bass Time Dekhna Tha tum khud He Bata Do
Son-
ap na acha ni kiya ABaaaa.....###


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Pagal....###
chinese se – kya tum American ho?
Chinese – nhi, main Chinese hun
Pagal – nhi tum American ho.....###
Chinese – nhi, 
main chinese hun
Pagal – nhi tum american ho.....###
Chinese ghuse se – haan haan main American hun.....###
.
.
Pagal – Shakal se to Chinese lagte ho....###


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Pappu ka beta -
Papa agar aapko 1000 aur 100 ka 
note rastey me para mily to aap konsa note uthao gy....###

.

.

.

.

Pappu – 1000 ka..

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.

.

.

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Beta – Is liye aap pr joke bante hain......###
Dono bhi to utha sakty ho......###


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Doctor – Tum Shadi Shuda Ho....###
Patient : Han Hamara Shadi Aurat Se Hua Hai
Doctor : Bewaqoof Kya Mard Se Bhi Hota Hai
Patient : Han Hamara behen Ka Huwa Hai.....###


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Teacher:
15 fruits k naam batao....###
.
Pathan: amrood....###
.
Teacher:
shabash
.
Pathan: mango....###
.
Teacher: gud

pathan: apple
.
Teacher
very gud 3 ho gay....###
Ab 12 reh gay
.
Pthan
ek darjan kelay..
Techer. 
lakh di lanat e. Begherat.....###


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Pathan Cycle pe apni bhen ke sath ja raha tha,
.
Kisi ne aawaz lagai mehbOoba kO ghuma rahe hO?
.
Phr wOhi hua jis ka dar tha.....###
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan....###
“jOsh se bOla kameeny mehboOba hOgi teri....###
meri tO bahen hai....###


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1 Pathan Ko 100
Rupee Miley.....###
‘5, Star Hotel
Mein Gaya Or
Order Diya.....###
1=Biryani,
1=Haleem,
1=Peace Broast,
1=Chicken Tikka
1=Malai Boti.....###
Or
1=Lab-E-Sheereen.....###
Pait Bhar K
Khana Khaya.tongue emoticon
Phr Rs.5000 Ka
Bill Aagaya.....###
Us Ny Manager
Sy Kaha Paisy
Nhi Hen.....###
Manager Ny
US KO Police Ky
Hawaly Kr Diya.....###
Pathan Ny
Police Waly KO
‘100, Rupy Diye
Or Choot Gya.
Ye Hy ‘2015’ Ka
Aqalmand Pathan.....###
IS KO Kehty Hen.....###
Financial
Manag

*********************

Ladki:- Agar main mar jau to tum
kya karoge.....###
.
.
.
Ladka:- Main bhi mar jaunga.....###
.
.
.
Ladki (romanticaly) : Par kyu.....###
.
.
.
.
Ladka:- tere chakkar me udhari....###
itni ho gayi hai ki jeena mushkil
hai.....###


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Man: Doctor sb koyi lambi umar ka tareeqa bato?

Dr: Shadi ker lo.....###

Man: Kia shadi sae umar lambi ho jaye gi....###

Dr: Nahi ye shouq khatam ho jaye ga.....###


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Police ne Ek sharabi ko pkra
Phir ek Gadhay ke agey Pani or sharab ki Baalti rakhi....###

Gadha Pani Pi gaya, Sharab na pi.....###
.
Polic Ne Sharabi se poocha:Tu ne is se kia seekha....###
.
.
.
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Sharabi :…Jo sharab nahi pita … woh Gadha hota hai....###
Police: Pao ais kanjar nu LAMA ......###


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Wada kiya tha deepika se.....###
Lekin todna pada supriya se.
Jab yeh pta chala neha ko.
Toh usne keh diya niharika se.....###
Par main baat karuga sirf ankita se.
Or,
Milunga
Jyoti se.....###
Plz koi mat kehna kajal se.
Ki main pyaar karta hu divya se.....###
Warna yeh khel khatam ho jayega or,
Milna padega shivangi se.
Lekin yeh baat tum bhi nahi jante ki main
milta hu monika se.
Or shadi karunga sirf
Mummy ki psand se....###


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Doctor:Tabiyat kaisi Hy?
Pathan: Pehle Se Ziada kharab Hy

Dr: Dawai khali Thi?
Pathan: Khali Nahi Thi Bhari Hui Thi

Dr:I Mean, Dawai Le Li Thi?
Pathan: G Ap Hi Se To Li Thi.....###

Dr:Bewaqoof Dawai Peeli Thi?

Pathan:Nain G Dawai Neeli Thi.....###

Dr:Aby Gadhey Dawai ko Pee Lia tha?
Pathan:Nain G Peliya to Mujhe Tha

Dr:Ullu k pathe
Dawai ko khol k Muon me Rkh Liya tha?

Pathan:Ni Ap Ne He to kha tha k Frij me Rkhna

Dr:Abey kia Maar khaye Ga?

Pathan:Nahi Dwai khaun Ga....###

Dr:Nikal Salay Tu pagal kar Dy Ga
Pathan:Ja Rha Hoon phir kab Aon?

Dr:Kyamat k Bad....###

Pathan:Kyamat k kitny Din Bad?
Dr:Behosh
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....###


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From:- Nitendra Nittu Wo jab chalti....### 
hai to raah me 100 ke note bicha deta hu, 
Wo jab chalti hai to raah me 100 ke ....###
note bicha deta hu, Aur uske jaane ke baad
Sab utha leta hu....###


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Wo Kehti Hai Phone Na Kiya Kro DEAR ....###
Mama Hoti Hai NEAR 
Papa Se Lgta Hai FEAR....###
Baat Nhi Hoti CLEAR
Dewaro Ke Bhi Hote Hy EAR 
Is Liye FB use Karo DEAR......###


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Main Aur mere roommates....###
aksar Yeh Baatain Karte Hain
Ghar saaf hota to kaisa hota....###
Main kitchen saaf karta, tum bathrooom dhote
main hall saaf karta, tum balcony dekhte....###
Log is baat pe hairaan hote
aur us baat pe haste….


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Muje Peene Ka Shok Nahi....###
Par Jab Bhi Peeta hu....###
Na Jaane Sigrate Ke Dhuve me,
Uski Tasveer Kaise Ban Jati Hai.....###

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Student to God

हज़ारो की किस्मत तेरे हाथ थी....###
अगर पास कर देता तो क्या बात थी?

God –

गर्लफ्रेंड थोड़ी कम बनता तो क्या बात थी....###
किताबे तो सारी तेरे पास थी ....###

******************

Ankhon se barsaat hoti hain ....###
Jab apki yaad saath hoti hai, 
Jab bhi busy rahe mera cell to ....###
Samajh lena aapki hone wali Bhabhi 
se meri baat hoti hain....###


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Kisi k pass
yo yo honey singh....###
ka number hai kya

Wo kehta rehta tha
pass kara du,
phone ghuma du....###
..
..
..
Exams sar pe hai....###
No. jaruri hain yaar


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Girl- पापा एक Important बात थी
Father-बोलो
Girl- मैं एक लड़के से प्यार करती हूँ....###
पर बो America मे रहता हैं
. website में हमारी जान पहचान हुई....###
. Facebook में दोस्ती हुई
.Skype में उसने मुझे propose किया....###
. Whatsapp में हम लोग दो महीने से प्यार कर रहें हैं

Father – really

तो अब

. Twitter में शादी करो....###
. Make my trip में हनीमून करो
. Flip kart से बच्चा मंगवालो....###
. Gmail में receive करलो

Last में
.अगर Husband अच्छा न लगे तो Olx में sell कर दो....###


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कौन कमबख्त कहता है, लड़के सोचते कम हैं .
.
.
.
.
.
.  लड़की एक बार मुस्करा कर तो देखे शेरवानी के रंग से लेकर बच्चों तक के नाम सोच लेते हैं....###


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जिस हॉस्पिटल के हम डॉक्टर हैं....###
हमारी पत्नी वहा की नर्स हैं
क्या अजीब ज़ुल्म सहना पड़ता हैं....###
अपनी ही बीवी को सिस्टर कहना पड़ता हें....###


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Zindagi Ke Har Pal Khusi Se Bitao....###
Chahe Duniya Walo Tmhe Pagal Awara Kyo Na Bole 
Bus Ek Bat Hmesa Yad Rakhna....###
Zindagi Na Milega Dobara....###
Hahahahahahaha


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Teacher- wo kaun sa jagah hai, 
jaha ladkiya kam ni kar skti hai.....###

Student- FIRE BRIGADE......###

Teachar- Why.....###

Student- inka kam aag lgana hai, bujhana ni....###


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Sir – Samajh tujhe 10 laddu diye......###
.
Student – Mujhe......###
.
.
Sir – Samajh na tere baap ka kya jata hai....###
Usme se 5 laddu maine le liye to
tere pass kitne bache....###
Student – 20
Sir – Kaise....###
.

Student – Samajh na tere baap ka kya jaata hai....###
Teacher shocked Student rocked....###


***********************

Boy – Hello , Pammi darling… kaisi
ho ?
Girl : Who’s
this ?
Boy : Tera
aashiq hun; jaaneman....###
Girl – Tu Bunty hai
na…
Boy – Yes; but how do you
know ?
Girl – Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na....###
Boy – Yes but how you know me....###
Girl : Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na....###.###
Boy – Yes !!
but
jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata....###
Girl – Bunty Haramkhor kutte, mai
teri
Maa hun !!..Tune ‘Pummi’ ko nahi....###
Mummi ko phone lagaya hai!....###


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Doctor – Aapka Aur Aapki Biwi Ka Blood Group Ek Hi Hai....###

Rogy – Jarur Hoga 25 Saal Se Mera Khoon Jo Pee Rahi Hai....###


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Ek baar meri GF ne mujhe apne ghar
bulaya.....###
Mai ghar pahucha aur bell bajai,
..
Uski choti sister ne darwaza khola,
Wo bahut sundar thi....###
Muskura k boli aap bahut smart ho,
Abhi ghar par koi nahi hai.....###
Mai akeli hu,Mai muskraya aur,
Apni bike ki taraf wapas jane laga,
......###
To uski puri family ghar se bahar aa
gayi aur,
Meri sharafat ki tareef karte huey,
Mujhe gale lagaya aur kaha,
Hum ko rishta manzur hai.
.
.
Ab mai kya batau Yaro....###
Ki Mai to bike ko lock karne gaya tha. 
tongue emoticon


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Ek admi apne dost k ghar gya,
bell bjane pe Pappu bahar aaya ....###
.
Admi: Beta apne papa
ko bulao....###

Pappu: Ji wo nhi h, wo
bazar gye h.....###
.
Admi: Acha to bade bhai
ko bulao....###

Pappu: Wo apne dosto k sath.
cricket khelne gya hai.....###
.
Admi: Accha apki
mummy to ghar par hongi....###

Pappu:.Nahi wo apni saheliyo 
k sath picnic par gyi hai......###
.
Admi chidd kar gusse
mein bola: Abe To tu
akela ghar pe kya kar raha hai,
tu b kahi chala jata
.
Pappu: Haa, tabhi to mai yaha apne dost k ghar aaya hu....###


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To,
The janeman ....###
I love you jaan
.
Subject- Love is Life.....###
:
:
Dear Janu,
I beg to say that,
I am a student of
ur heart.
My Dil is very ill.
It is dhadking (Beating) many
time in a
minute.....###
:
So, Kindly give me a kiss.....###
Thanks,
YOUR’S LOVER ,
Name :: Pyar Ka Mara.....###
Class :: Dil Hai Tumhara
Roll no. 143 heart emoticon
…AB Like Bhi Kar Do Yaro....###

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Kid:- Dad me aaj aapko ek baat batana chahta hun....###
.
Dad:- Bolo.
.
Kid:- Dad maine Facebook pe ladkiyon ke naam se 5 Fake ID banayi hain....###
.
.
Dad:- Nalayak aur kuch kaam nahi hai tere pas....###

lekin tu ye mujhe kyu bata raha hai....###
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Kid:- Dad aap jis Pinky Sharma ko ek mahine se patane ki try kar rahe ho wo meri hi fake id hai....###

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Na suhag hai....###
Na raat hai
Phir v suhag raat ka seen najar aata hai

beleve it or not....###

Har kutte ka din aata hai....###


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ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ -

कृपया करके आपके जितने भी रिश्तेदार delhi में रहते हैं

उनको सूचित कर दें कि....###

CIA, RAW और दूसरे सूत्रों से पता चला है

कि तमाम बस स्टॉप,
रेलवे स्टेशन,
सब्ज़ी मंडी,uttam Nagar terminal ,Tilak nagar LIC office ke pass,
Subhash nagar mod ,
कमानिया गेट ,
Azadpur mandi,सदर और

छोटी लाईन फाटक के
करीब....###

तरबूज़ आ गए हैं, जा कर खरीद लो....###


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Hum Indians Quarter Final toh kabhi haar hi nahi sakte....###

Kuyki jaha bhi quarter mil jaye toh hum use Final karke hi uthte hain....###


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Har kashti ka sahil nahi hota....###
kimti chiz ka har koi kabil nahi hota
ye to tumhare pitaji ki mehrbani hai....###
varna tum jaise popat k paas mobile nahi hota....###


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A TRAGIC Love STORY: A pig fell in Love with a Hen,

1 day they kissed each other....###

Next day the Pig died of Bird Flu & Bird died of Swine Flu....###

“AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI......###


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Hamari Dosti tab khatam hogi....###

jab ek Goonga ek behre ko phone kar k....###

batayega ki ek andhe ne dekha ki ek langda bhag raha tha....###

Ganje k peeche uske baal katne k liye.....###

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Sindhi ka 1 Rs. ka Coin terrace se gir gaya,
Sindhi niche pahuncha to coin nahi mila....###
kyu ?
kyu ki
Coin se pehle,
Sindhi niche pahunch gaya !!! Jai Jhulelal ....###

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Duniya Walo Se Chupa Kar Unki Tasveer Bathroom Mein Laga Rakhi Hai,
Wah Wah....###
Duniya Walo Se Chupa Kar Unki Tasvir Bathroom Mein Laga Rakhi Hai,
Aur Har Ghadi Unka Didar Ho Isliye Julab Ki Goli Kha Rakhi Hai....###


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Boss: Arz kiya hai....###
Office main Kaam hote hain....###
Galtiyon ka sama hota hai....###
Aise mausam mein hi to PERFORMANCE jawan hote hai....###
Dil ki khunnas BOSS Zabaan se nahi kehte....###
Ye fasana to appraisal mein bayan hota hai....###


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Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo....###
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo....###


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Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning....### 
Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS....###

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Ho gayi galti humse, 
Click ho gaya mouse Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, 
ban jaao meri spouse....###


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Arz kiya hai- jis bus mein baithi ho haseenaaye, 
Us bus ke shishe chatak jaate hai, 
Driver chahe jitni tej chalaye, 
Dewaane fir bhi latak jaate hain.....###


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Arz kiya hai......###
ishq karne se pehle iska anjaam dekh lo, 
Agar phir bhi samajh na aaye, to film tere naam dekh lo.....###


***********************

Arz hai....###
Aap hamare dil mein base ho....###
Aap hamare dil mein base ho… Wah wah....###
thoda side ho jaao saans lene waale pipe mein fase ho.....###


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Arj kiya hai....### 
Delhi ki garmi se hai skin meri jali, 
wah wah gaur kijiyega, 
delhi ki garmi se hai skin meri jali, 
Chura ke dil mera goriya chali.....###

******************

Arj kiya hai, 
yu na kisi ke dil se khelo, wah wah......###
Yu na kisi ke dil se khelo, 
jab sms hi nahi karna hai, 
to phone bechkar radio hi le lo.....###


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Rin lagaaya aur daag gaya wah wah,
rin lagaaya aur daag gaya,
Abhijeet, Daya lagta hai,
khooni bhaag gaya.....###


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Ab hum aapke raste mein kabhi nahi ayenge.....### 
Hume pata hai aap hume kaat khayenge, 
hum to hai bahut hi gareeb aadmi, 
14 injection kahan se lagwaenge.....###


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