Haryanvi jokes 2017

SubAh ShAm ThAri GhAni YAAd AAwe Se
SAri RAAt MAnne JAgAwe Se
KArne Ko KAr Lu CAll TAnne
Per Customer CAre Ki WA Chori BAlAnce Low BAtAve Se…

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Loving couple before MArriAge:
JAnu.. tum nAhin to mAin nAhin....!!! mAin nAhin to tum nAhin....!!!
The sAme couple After MArriAge:
MAA kAsAm… AAj tu nAhin yA mAin nAhin…





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PurAne Log Kehte ThA Sote WAqt....!!!
Tension Me NAhi SonA ChAhiye....!!!
AAshchAryA Ki BAAt HAi Fir Bhi Log....!!!
Biwi Ke PAAs Kese So JAAte HAin…


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SAntA Ek Din Bijli Ki DukAAn Mein:

Do FAn DenA Ek LAdies Aur Ek Gents.
DukAAn WAlA: FAns Mein LAdies Aur Gents NAhi HotA YAr!
SAntA: Kyon NAhi HotA Ji
Ek BAjAj KA De Aur Ek UshA KA…


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RAAt ko kitAb meri mujhe dekhty rhee…
neend mujhe Apni orr khenchti rhee…
Neend kA jhonkA merA mAnn moh gAyAA…
Aur Aik rAAt phir yeh genious binA pArhe so gAyA


Sunlo jAAnA tum hi ho Ab meri life
Tujh ko chhod k nAA koi bAnAgi meri wife
Tu AgAr kAbhi de dhokhA
JAAn mAin Apni doongA with A knife..!


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If boys vomit then pArents sAys kAminey kAhA khA kAr AAyA thA....!!!
If girls vomit then pArents sAys kAun thA woh kAminA....!!!
MorAl of the story: Whoever vomits boys Are AlwAys kAminey…


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SArdAr ke bAgiche me bAhut sAre ped the....!!!
SArdAr nAukAr ko bolA ped ko pAni dAl.
NAukAr bolA sAAb bArish AAh rAhA hAi....!!!
SArdAr: Abe budhu chhAtri pAkAdke dAl nA!.


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Judge – You Are crossing the limits.
LAwyer – KAun SAAlA AisA kehtA hAi?
Judge – How dAre you cAll me sAAlA?
LAwyer – My Lord....!!! I sAid kAun ‘SA LAw’ kehtA hAi?


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SArdAr ko sApne me ek lAdki ne chAppAl mAri....!!!
2 din tAk sArdAr Apne bAnk nAhi gAyA....!!!
Qnki bAnk me likhA thA..

“Hum AApke sApne ko hAkikAt me bAdAlte hAin”


Afridi: “hum SAchin ko kisi hAl mein 100 nAhi bAnAne denge.” MisbAh: “mAger hAm kAise rokenge....!!! he’s in form…” Afridi: “hum under 100 All out ho jAyenge.”


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Side effect of Studying 2 much:
A Guy Went To A ResturAnt....!!! He WAnted To See The Menu But He Forgot WhAt It Is CAlled;
He Asked WAiter....!!!
“SyllAbus LAnA ZrA”;-)


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ShAir Arz KiyA HAi…
ZArA TAwAjo ChAhiye…
KhushiyAn MilAin TumhAin HAr QAdAm BA QAdAm…
KhudA Ki QAsAm ShAir KhAtAm
Plz NArAz MAt Ho AchA ChAlo DosrA ShAir HAi…
ChAhe Ge Tm Ko Dilo JAn Se Hum
KhudA Ki QAsAm Ye ShAir Bhe KhAtAm
ThorA Aur BurA MAAn Lo…
`
Best Sms Of 1947
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?
?
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?
?
TAb Mobile ThA KyA?
KAbhi Tu ThorA DimAgh KA IstAmAAl KAr LiyA KAro!
BAs Sms PArhne Ki JAldi LAgi Hoti HAi…
`
Why HAs The Govt Fixed Voting Age Of 18 Yr
& MArriAge In Age Of 21yr?
Govt Ko Ye PAtA HAi K
Desh SumbhAlnA AAsAn HAi
Lekin Biwi NAhi…
`
PAlko Pe Apni BAithAyA HAi Tumhe
BAdi Dino Ke BAAd PAyA HAi Tumhe
AAsAni Se NAhi Mile Tum
NAtionAl ZoologicAl PArk Se ChurAyA HAi Tumhe…
`
Mere HAth Me TerA HAth Ho
Tere HAth Me BAjuwAle KA HAth Ho
Aur Uske HAth Me MerA HAth Ho Fir?
Fir KyA Teeno MilAke Khelege GHOOM-GHOOM …


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TrAin mAi Aik husbAnd Apni wife sAy:
tujh sAy shAdi ker k pAchtA rAhA hun
dil kertA hAi tujhey kuttAy k AgAy dAl dun
sAmnAy wAlA pAssenger:wAo wAo wAo wAo!!!…
`
Khush rAhe tu sAdA yeh duA hAi meri
Teri premikA hi bAn jAAye bhAbhi teri…..
`
Ek lAdki thi diwAni si....!!! sunder si lAmbi si....!!!
NAzrein jhukAke shArmAke gAlion se guzrA kArti thi
lAtAk mAtAk chAlti thi....!!! Aur kAhA kArti thi....!!!
BArtAn Lelo BArtAn……
`
BolAA dukAAn-dAAr....!!! ke kyAA chAhiye tumhAin
Jo bhii kAho ge merii dukAAn per wo pAoge
mAine kAhAA ke kutte ke khAAne kAA cAke hAi
bolAA yAhiin pe khAAoge yAA leke jAAoge…
`
SunA hAi wo keh kAr gAye hAi ke Ab to hum....!!!
Sirf tumhAre khAwboo mAin hi AAyenge....!!!
Koi keh de unse ki wo vAdA kAr le hum....!!!
Jindgi bher ke liye so jAyenge…
`
Woh zindAgi hi kyA jisme mohAbbAt nAhi....!!!
Woh mohAbAt hi kyA jisme yAAdein nAhi....!!!
Woh yAAdein hi kyA jisme tum nAhi....!!!
Aur woh tum hi kyA jiske sAAth hum nAhi…….


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Excellent Mind
MAsoom ChehrA
Mithi AAwAz
KhubsurAt AAnkhe
Perfect PersonAlity
KhushmizAj AndAz
Ye To Hui Meri BAAt
Or BAtAo AAp KAisy Ho ?…
`
Ek ‘AAp’ Ho Kitne Achhe Ho
Kitne Bhole Ho
Kitne PyAre Ho
Kitne SmArt Ho
Kitne Sweet Ho
Aur Ek ‘Hum’ HAin Ke
Jhooth Pe Jooth Bole JA RAhe HAin…
`
Hum PAgAl Apke Picche
AAp PAgAl Kisi Or K Picche
Koi Or PAgAl HAmAre Picche
Wo B PAgAl Kisi Or K Picche
HAhAhA
SAAre PAgAl AAge Picche…


Respected....!!!
InternAtionAl KAnjus....!!!
ThAnks for not sending Any Sms....!!!
You will win “PAppu KAnjus RAhnA AwArd”

NA nA sms mt kArnA....!!!
KAhin ye! AwArd hAth se nA nikAl jAye..


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WhAt’s True BrAvery?

.
.

To Arrive home..
Fully Drunk..
LAte night out.

N
Mom wAiting with A JhAdu
N
You Ask: Hey Mom....!!! Abhi tAk SAfAi kAr rAhi ho..!!


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SArdAr got A job in AIRTel
custmr: Hello my AIRTEL sim loked whAt 2Do?
Srd: y don tAke tention remove Airtel sim put BSNL....!!!thAnk u 4cAling
`
SArdAr Roz SubhA 50 lAdkiyA merA intezAr kArti hAin
mAn- Are wAhA Vo kAise?
sArdAr- MAine Girls collAge Bus kA Drive Hu nA.
`
2 sArdAr sending sms their GF
1st sArdAr:MAi tere mobile se teri G.F ko sms bheju?
2nd:no
1st:Why?
2nd:usne hAndwriting pehchAn li to……?
`
Ek sArdAr jo bhi kAm kArAtA thA usme puri tArAh doob jAtA thA……
Aurr… Ak din… usne Ak gAddA khod liyA…..
`
SArdArs Friend: YAr KAl Meine Kitni BAAr CAll KiyA....!!! UthAyA Q NAhi?
SArdAr: Q UthAu....!!! 30 Rs.De K Jo GAnA LAgwAyA HAi Woh KyA TerA BAp Sune..
`
SArdAr sAying to his friend- yAAr meinA compeny ke computer ko jor jor se chAlAyA button dAbAyA to computer boltA he “whAt r u doing”. Meine computer ko nA mAin switch se bAnd ker diyA or bhAg gAyA.
DusrA Dost- kyon?
SArdAr yAAr computer hAs A good mind wo MAlik ko bAtA degA to…


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TinkA-2 tufAn mein bikhArte chAle gAye
tAnhAi ki gehrAion mein utArte chAle gAye.
Udte thAy jinke sAhAre AAsmAno mein hum
ek-ek kArke sAb bichAdte chAle gAye.
`
Fresh flowers Are wAiting to disturb u
Hot coffe wAiting to tAste ur lips
Sun....!!! birds....!!! cool Air – All r looking
At ur window to sAy u Good morning
HAve nice dAy.
`
Girl’s fAther- MAin nAhi chAhtA ki meri beti
Apni puri zindgi 1 gAdhe k sAth guzAre.
Boyfriend- Bus....!!! isiliye mAin use
yAhA se le jAne AyA hun
`
Unki ek yAAd bechAn kAr jAti hAi
hAr cheez me unki surAt nAzAr AAti hAi.
AisA hAl kiyA unhone pyAr me hAmArA
ke nind AAti hAi to Ankhen burA mAAn jAti hAin.
`
Is dil kA ik ArmAn hAi
ik chAnd me hmAri jAAn hAi.
Jise dur se dekhnA to mumkin hAi
PAr milnA kAhAn AAsAn hAi.
Kyon ki hum to ik zAmeen hAin
Arr Vo ik AAsmAn hAi
`
Behte AAshkon ki zubAAn nAhi hoti
lAfzon mein mohAbAt bAyAAn nAhi hoti.
Mile jo pyAr to kAdAr kArnA
kismAt hAr kisi pAr mAherbAn nAhi hoti.
`
Ishq AisA kAro ki dhArkn mein bs jAye
sAAns bi lo to khushboo usi ki Aye.
pyAr kA nAshA AAnkhon pe chA jAye
bAAt kuch bi nA ho pr nAm usi kA Aye.
`
Ek lAmhA jo bAAr bAAr sAtAtA hAi
nA jAAne yeh dil kyA chAhtA hAi.
KAAsh AAp hote hAmAri nAzron k sAAmne
pAr yeh kAAsh
kAAsh hi reh jAtA hAi.
`
SAche dil se kAro fAriyAAd to
DuniyA ki hAr ek cheez milti hAi.
Jis pAr khudA ki rehmAt ho jAye
Use kAAnto me bhi khushbu milti hAi.
`
Koi Achi si sAjA do mujhko
chAlo bhulA do mujhko.
Tumse dosti tute us din mAut AA jAye mujhko
dil ki gAhrAiyon se duA do mujhko.


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AgAr Cricket MAtch Me 10 BAlls PAr
Puri TeAm 0ut Ho JAye....!!!
To KonsA Number KhilArri N0t 0ut RAhegA..?
Ìf All Other Things
RemAining The SAme....!!!
Only For Genious One..

In A Cricket Ground..
Security :
Cricket MAtch Is Over Now
Why R U Stil Sitting?
SAntA:
Oye…YAAr..
I Am WAitin For Highlights!

SAntA:
Mene KAl SANIA MIRZA Se Phone Pe BAAt Ki
BAntA:
ThAt’s GreAt YAAr..
Usne KyA KAhAA..??
SAntA:
Usne KAhA WRONG NUMBER

TeAcher Told All Students
In ClAss 2 Write N EssAy On A Cricket MAtch
All Were Busy Writing Except 1 SArdArji
He Wrote
“DUE TO RAIN....!!!NO MATCH”

SArdAr Cricket Khel KAr AyA....!!!
Dost:
KitnAy Runs BAnAy?
SArdAr:
Triple Century Hone Me 299 Run BAqi ThAy....!!!
KAnjAr Ne Out KAr DiA!


Zindgi Ek Cricket HAi
SAAri DhArti Khel KA MAidAAn

Aur Us Pe KArmbhoomi Hi Pitch HAi
Zindgi Ek Cricket HAi

AAti HAi SAbki BAAri But Just For Once HAi
Hum Hi Is Khel Mein KhilAdi Aur Humhi AudiAnce HAi

Zindgi Ek Cricket HAi
NAukri MilnA To ChAukA LAg JAAnA HAi

PAr ChAkkA To SidhA ShAAdi Ho JAAnA HAi
Zindgi Ek Cricket HAi

JeevAn Ke UtAr ChAdAv BAll Ki Inswing Aur Outswing HAi
Lekin Sukh Dukh KA AAnA To Leg BreAk Aur Spinning HAi

Zindgi Ek Cricket HAi
Accident Ho JAAnA JAise Retired Hurt Ho JAAnA HAi

Per KismAt KA PhootnA To Lbw Ho JAAnA HAi
Zindgi Ek Cricket HAi

CAtch Out HonA JAise HAtyA HAi
PAr Run Out HonA To AtmhAtyA HAi

Zindgi Ek Cricket HAi
Hum To BAs Ek Chhote Se ShAyAr HAi
SAb Kuch To Uske HAAth HAi Jo Is Khel KA Umpire HAi…


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WIFE: Tum Ne KAbhi SochA HAi K Meri ShAAdi Kisi Aur Se Ho JAAti To KyA HotA?”
HUSBAND: NAhi....!!! MAin ne kAbhi Kisi KA BurA NAhi SochA…!

KitnA BAybus HAi InsAAn QismAt K AAgAy
Her SApnA Toot JAtA HAi HAqeqAt K AAgAy
Jis Ne KAbhi JhuknA NAhi SekhA DuniyA MAin
Wo Bhi Jhuk JAtA HAi BEGUM K AAgAy…

Wife ko begum kyon kehte hAi?
Ans: Kyonki shAdi ke bAAd sAre gum to husbAnd
se hisse mein AAte hAi....!!!
Aur biwi Be-Gum ho jAi HAi!!!

Wife: ShAdi ke pehle to tum mujhe rof gift diyA kArte they....!!!
Ab kyun nAhi dete?
HusbAnd: MAchhAli pAkdne ke bAAd bhi kyA koi chArA dAltA hAi!

PAtni: KAAsh tum Aise SMS hote jise
MAin ZindAgi bhAr sAve kArke rAkhti!
PAti: Air kAAsh tum
Aisi ringtone hoti jise
mAin hAr hAfte bAdAl sAktA….

Wife: AgAr mAin mAr jAun to tum kyA kAroge?
HusbAnd: ShAyAd mAin mAr jAungA.
Wife: Kyon?
HusbAnd: KAbhi kAbhi zyAdA kushi jAnlevA hoti hAi….

A beggAr- ‘Oh sundAri ! AndhA hoon.
SAwA pAAnch rupyA de de..
“HusbAnd sAid 2 his wife- De de....!!! tujhe
sundAri bolA hAi to hAr hAAl mein AndhA hAi…”


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DEVDAS Of 2010..
MAA Ne KAhA FAce Book Chor Do!
AbbA Ne KAhA Night PAckAge Chor Do!
Doston Ne KAhA Mobile Se BAlAnce ChurAnA Chor Do!
PAAro Ne KAhA Dew PeenA Chor Do!
Aur
Aik Din AAyegA JAb Girlfrnd K BAchey Bolengey..
MAAmu Ab To HAmAri Ammi KA PeechA Chor Do!
`
Khusbu Ne Phool Ko KhAs BAnAyA....!!!
Phool Ne MAtti Ko KhAs BAnAyA....!!!
ChAhAt Ne MohAbAt Ko KhAs BAnAyA....!!!
KAmbAkhAt MohAbAt Ne Kitno Ko
“DEVDAS” BAnAyA…
`
Jeet K B HAAr GyA Me PyAr Ki BAzi YAro
Me UskA DEVDAS ThA Wo Thi Meri PARO
Wo GuzAr GAi PAAs Se NAzAr Tk NA MilAi
Bcz I WAs On Bicycle She WAs In PjAro…
`
PyAr KArnewAle PAreshAn Ho JAte HAi
ShAdi KArnewAle ShArAbi BAn JAte HAi
Devours Dene WAle DevdAs BAn JAte HAi
Hum Se Dosti KArAne WAle
SMS Expert Ho JAte HAi…
`
BhehAr Ki GAli MAin PAAn Ki DukAn
DevdAs Ne Dekhi PAro Ki MuskAn
DevdAs Ne KhilAyA PAro Ko PAAn
KhAke PAAn PAro Boli
ShukriyA BhAi JAn..
`
AAj DidAr
KAl YAAr
PArso PyAr
Phir EkrAr
Phir IntezAr
Phir TAkrAr
Phir DArAr
SAri MehnAt BekAr
Or AAkhir Me 1 Or DevdAs At Beer BAAr..
`
Logo Ne PyAr KiyA To KyA KiyA
PyAr Ki BewAfAi Mein Khud Ko MitA DiyA
Isi PyAr Mein Log BAne DevdAs
PAr Koi NA BAn SAkA Mere JAisA BindAs!


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Funny CID Jokes SMS in Hindi

HAAr se pehle me umeed kyo chhodu
HAAr se pehle me umeed kyo chhodu
DAyA sAys sAlAry sAbko milti he
DArwAzA mAin hi kyo todu??
`
DevdAs & CID speciAl
BAbuji ne kAhA pAro ko chhod do
WAh wAh
BAbuji ne kAhA pAro ko chhod do
ACP ne kAhA....!!! DAyA ye dArwAzA tod do
`
CID returns
RAAt k pehlu me ChAnd sitAre chAye he
RAAt k pehlu me chAnd sitAre chAye he
MAdAm dArwAjA kholiye hum CID se Aye hAi
`
LAtest CID PJ for CID fAns
A for Apple
B for bAnAnA
WAh!wAh!
A for Apple
B for bAnAnA
Kuch B ho jAye dAyA goli mAt chAlAnA
`
Fredricks k sAr pe 50000 kA loAn he
Fredricks k sAr pe 50000 kA loAn he
Abhijeet pAtA kro yeh cid wAli shyri bnAtA kAun he
`
ApAke msg AAne se milti he rAhAt.
WAh wAh
ApAke msg AAne se milti he rAhAt.
WAh wAh
CID ke bAAd dekhnA nA bhule AAhAt!


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MunnAbhAi : Ye Circuit !! SAlA Apun ke desh ko
kAun chAlA rAhelA hAi ?
Circuit : BhAi….bole to Apun kA desh to
SMS chAlA rAhelA hAi….
MunnAbhAi : Abe kyA bAk rAhA hAi?
Circuit : BhAi …sAhi bolA Apun NE…SMS bole to …
SArdAr MAnmohAn Singh


Tumse doori kA ehsAAs jAb sAtAne lAgA....!!!
Tere sAAth guzrA hAr lAmhA yAAd AAne lAgA....!!!
JAbbhi tumhe bhulne ki koshish ki....!!!
Ae dost tu dil ke Aur pAAs ! AAne lAgA..
`
HAm tere dil mein rAhenge ek yAAd bAnkAr....!!!
Tere lAb pA khilenge muskAAn bAnkAr....!!!
KAbhi hAmein Apne se judA nA sAmAjhnA....!!!
Hum tere sAAth chAllenge AAsmAAn bAnkAr..
`
HAqiqAt sAmjho yA AfsAnA....!!!
BegAnA kAho yA deewAnA....!!!
Suno is dil kA fAsAnA....!!!
Teri dosti hAi mere jeene kA bAhAnA..
`
Kuch nAshA to AApki bAAt kA hAi
Kuch nAshA to dheemi bArsAAt kA hAi
HAme AAp yuhi shArAbi nA kAhiye....!!!
Yeh dil pAr AsAr to AApse mulAqAt kA hAi.
`
ChAnd AdhurA hAi sitAro ke binA....!!!
gulshAn AdhurA hAi bAhAAro ke binA....!!!
sAmundAr AdhurA hAu kinAro ke binA....!!!
jeenA AdhurA hAi tum jAise yAAro ke binA!!!
`
KAlAm uthAyi hAi lAfs nAhi miltA....!!!
jisko dhoond rAhein hAin vo shAks nAhi miltA....!!!
firte hAin vo jAmAAne ki tAlAAsh mein....!!!
bAs humAre liye unhe wAqt nAhi miltA!!!
`
Dil mein umeedo ki shAmmA jAlA rAkhi hAi....!!!
humne Apni AlAg duniyA bAsA rAkhi hAi....!!!
is umeed ke sAAth ki A! AyegA SMS AApkA....!!!
humne mobile pAr nAzrein jAmA rAkhi hAin…
`
MAin uski yAAd mein bAn gAyA bArAf kA golA
MAin uski yAAd mein bAn gAyA bArAf kA golA
Aur vo boli ki ThAndA mAtlAb CocA ColA
`
YAdd KArte hAi tumhe tAnhAi mein....!!!
dil doobA hAi gAmo ki gehrAi mein....!!!
hAmein mAt dhoonndho duniyA ki bhid mein....!!!
hum milenge tumhe phir kisi....!!! free SMS ki scheme mein.


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is kAdAr hAmAri chAhAt kA imtihAn nA lijiye.
Kyu ho humse khAfA....!!! bAyAn to kijiye....!!!
KAr dijiye mAAf AgAr ho gAye humse khAtA....!!!
Yu yAAd nA kArke sAzA nA dijiye.
`
Rishton ki ye duniye hAi nirAAli....!!!
SAb riston se pyAAri hAi dosti tumhAAr! i.
MAnzoor hAi AAnsu bhi AAkho mein hAmAree....!!!
AgAr AA jAAye muskAAn hot pe tumAhAri.
`
KhudA se thodA rAhAm khAreed lete....!!!
AAp ke zAkhmo kA mArhAm khAreed lete.
AgAr kAhi bikti khushiyA meri....!!!
To sAAri bech kAr AAp kA hAr ghum khAreed lete.
`
JAm pe jAm pine se kyA fAydA....!!!
ShAm ko pi subAh utAr jAyegi.
Arey do boond dosti ke pi le....!!!
ZindAgi sAAri nAshe mein guzAr jAyegi.
`
FizA mein mehekti ek shAAm ho tum....!!!
PyAr mein chAlAktA jAm ho tum.
Seene mAin chupAye phirte hAi hum yAAd tumAhAri....!!!
Meri zindAgi kA dusrA nAAm ho tum.
`
VAAde pe o AitbAAr nAhi kArte....!!!
Hum zikre mohAbbAt sAre bAzAAr nAhi kArte.
DArtA hAi dil unki ruswAi se....!!!
Aur who sochte hAi hum unse pyAr nAhi kArte.
`
HAr kAdAm pAr imtihAAn leti hAi zindAgi....!!!
HAr wAqt nAyA sAdmA deti hAi zindAgi.
Hum jindAgi se kyA shikwA kAre....!!!
AAp jAise dost bhi to deti hAi zindAgi.
`
KAAsh who nAgme hAme sunAye nA hote....!!!
AAj unko sun kAr AAnsu Aye nA hote.
AgAr isi tArAh bhool hi jAAnA thA....!!!
To itni gehrAi se dil me sAmAye nA hote.
`
HAr khushi kAm hAi....!!!
TerA gum bhulAne ke liye....!!!
Ek terA gum hi kAAfi hAi....!!!
Mujhe umr bhAr rulAne ke liye
`
Dil Ki BAsti BikhAr GAyi Hoti
Ke Rooh Ke ZAkhm BhAr GAye Hote
Yeh ZindAgi To AAp Ki AmAAnAt HAi WArnA
Hum To KAb Ke MAr GAye Hote..


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
ShAdi kArnA thA pAr kismAt khuli nAhi....!!!
TAJMAHAL BAnA thA pAr MUMTAZ mili nAhi....!!!
Ab kismAt khuli....!!! ShAdi hue....!!!
Ab TAZ bAnAnA chAhtA hu....!!!
pAr ye MUMTAZ mArti nAhi!
`
Bhul se kAbhi hAme bhi yAAd kiyA kAro....!!!
PyAr nAhi to ShikAyAt hi kiyA kAro....!!!
ItnA bhi gAir nA sAmjho ki bAAt hi nA kiyA kAro....!!!
Phone nAhi to SMS hi kiyA kAro….
`
AAp jAise log kuch khAAs lAgte hAin.
mAn mAin hAr wAqt hum ek AAs rAkhte hAi.
nAjAne kAb AA jAye AAp kA sms
is liye cell ko dil ke pAAs rAkhte hAi.
`
JindAgi behAAl hAi....!!!
Sur hAi nAA tAAl hAi....!!!
Msgbox bhi kAngAl hAi....!!!
kyA AApki sms fActory me hAdtAl hAi....!!!
yAAr kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindAgi kA sAwAAl hAi.
`
Is dil mein yAAdon ke mele hAin....!!!
tum bin bAhut Akele hAin....!!!
sAb kuch chodke tume SMS kAr rele hAin....!!!
dekho hum kitne wele
`
NAzAr tumhAri....!!! NAzAr hAmAri....!!!
NAzAr ne dil ki nAzAr utAri....!!!
NAzAr ne dekhA nAzAr ko Aise....!!!
ki nAzAr dosti ko lAge nA hAmAri.
`
Tussi hAsde ho sAAnu hAssAn vAste....!!!
Tussi ronde ho sAAnu rovvAn vAset....!!!
Tussi 1 vAAr ruske te vekho....!!!
MAr jAyenge tuhAnu mAnAAn vAste.
`
BAAdAl kitne khushnAseeb hAi....!!!
Door rAhkAr bhi zAmeen pAr bArAste hAi....!!!
Hum kitne bAdnAseeb hAi....!!!
PAAs rAhkAr bhi milne ko tArAste hAi.
`
Dosti kA pehAlA pegAm AApke nAAm....!!!
ZindAgi ki AkhAri shAm AApke nAAm.
Iss sAfAr mAin humsAfAr hAin hum dono....!!!
Is dosti ko nibhAnA hAin AApkA kAAm.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎


Arz hAi unki gAliyon ke chAkkAr kAAt kAAtte
kutte hAmAre yAAr ho gAye....!!!
wo to hAmAre nA ho sAke pAr hum
kutton ke sArdAr ho gAye…
`
Dil k dArd ko zubA pAr lAAte nAhi....!!!
hum Apni AAnkhon se Ansu bAhAte nAhi....!!!
ZAkhm chAhe kitne hi gAhre kyo nA ho....!!!
hum DETTOL k sivA kuch lAAgAte nAhi.
`
Tum pAAs hot to tujhpe pyAr AAtA hAi....!!!
Tum door ho to terA intezAAr sAtAtA hAi.
KyA kAhe is dil ki hAAlAt ki....!!!
Tujhe yAAd kAr kArke hume bukhAAr ho jAAtA hAi.
`
Amiri ke khwAb Dekhne lAgA....!!!
Angreji ShArAb ChAkhAne lAgA....!!!
BAAp ne kAbhi PAger nAhi dekhA....!!!
Aur betA Mobile rAkhne lAgA!!!
`
MAndir mein jAp kArtA hoon....!!!
MAsjid mein AdAb kArtA hoon....!!!
insAn se kAhin bhAgwAn nA bAn jAun
isliye roz tujhko SMS kArke pAp kArtA hoon
`
Hotho se jo choo liyA....!!!
EhsAAs AAb tAk hAi....!!!
AAnkhe NAm hAi....!!! Aur sAnso mein AAg AAb tAk hAin…
Aur kyo nA ho… KhAyi Bhi to ‘HARI Mirchi…’-hAi. ..
`
Andhe ke hAth me “TORCH”....!!!
BAhAre ke hAth me “RADIO”....!!!
Gunge ke hAth me “MIKE”....!!!
AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
WAH WAH KyA JAmAnA AAyA hAi!!!
`
Mulk ki bhi ek sArhAd hoti hAi....!!!
BAcche ki bhi ek zid hoti hAi....!!!
Aur kitnA intezAr kAru tere sms kA....!!!
Arre yAAr kAnjusi ki bhi ek hAAd hoti hAi.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

Koi MAgrur hokAr pitA hAi....!!!
koi MAzAbur hokAr pitA hAi.
KAmbAkht is shArAb ko pine ke bAd he
AAdAmi AsAl ZindAgi jeetA hAi.

HAr LAdki tere liye beqArAr hAi....!!!
hAr LAdki ko terA IntzAr hAi....!!!
ye terA koi kAmAAl nAhi o mundiyA....!!!
kuch dinbAAd RAkhi kA jo teohAr hAi…

Nice ringtones 4 rAkshAbAndhAn. . . . .
1) RAkhi SpeciAl
2) HAiye_RAkhi_Hom : GujArAti fAmous folksong good one.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

1) He/she will never/seldom tAlk About his/her studies/syllAbus.

2) The one who sAys “mAine 8 mein se 3 hi unit kAri hAin..tune??” 30 mins before the exAm.

3) He will sAy the word “REAPPEAR/BACK AA GAYI” without Any sAd expression.

4) The one who sAys to teAcher “Sir....!!! report mAine khud bAnAyi hAi”..but goes blAnk when Asked questions.

5) When Asked About bAd result in exAms he/she replies ” PApA....!!! hAmAre college mein teAchers hi nAhi hAin..Jo hAin wo bhi bekAAr hAin” with A firm fAce And then sAys to himself/herself “BACH GAYA”..


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
PAppu Proposes

Six Answers given by A GIRL when she is proposed.
1 NAhi
2 Mujhe wAqt chAhiye
3 I hAve AlwAys seen u As A friend
4 I AlreAdy hAve A boy friend
5 We should concentrAte on studies
6 Tum Abhi tAk mujhe jAnte kAhAn ho? Yeh infAtuAtion hAi.

Six Answers given by A BOY when he is proposed..
1 Yes
2 Yes
3 Yes
4 Yes
5 Yes
6 Yes

This proves thAt guys Are better humAns thAn girls And they believe more in spreAding love


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

TeAcher: Tum bAde hokAr kyA kAroge ?
Student: shAAdi..!!!!!!
TeAcher: nAhi....!!! merA mAtlAb hAi kyA bAnoge?…..
Student: dulhA.!!!!!!!!!!!
TeAcher: oh....!!! i meAn bAde hokAr kyA hAsil kAroge?
Student: dulhAn
TeAcher: IDIOT merA mAtlAb bAde ho kAr mummy pApA k liye kyA kAroge?
Student- bAhu lAAungA
TeAcher: stupid tumhAre pApA tumse kyA chAhte hAi?
Student: potA
TeAcher: he bhAgwAn....!!! tumAri zindAgi kA kyA mAksAd hAi?
Student: hum do humAre do.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

FormulA 1
HAmeshA LAdki ke AAnkho se AAnkhen milAkAr hi bAAt kAre....!!! isse LAdkiyAn impress hoti hAi.

FormulA 2
LAdkiyon se jAb bhi mile ek pyAAri si smile jArur kAre.

FormulA 3
HAmeshA unki help ke liye tAiyAAr rAhe.

FormulA 4
unkA Birth dAy kAbhi nAA bhule Aur unhe koi BeAutiful gift jArur de....!!! yAA ek Rose.

FormulA 5
uus pAr kAbhi bhi gussA nA kAre....!!! HAmeshA pyAAr se hi pesh AAye.

FormulA 6
LAdkiyAn ShAyAri pAsAnd kArti hAi....!!! isliye AksAr unhe unki khubsurti pAr koi ShAyAri sunAte rAhe....!!! AisA kArte rAhne se wo AApke pyAAr me pAgAl ho jAyegi.

FormulA 7
unse hAmeshA Achche Dress me hi mile....!!! yAAd rAkhe AAp ko bhi AttrActive dkhnA pAdegA.

FormulA 8
AgAr AAp ek hi clAss me hAi to unko Study me yAA Notes bAnAne me Help kArte rAhe....!!! AisA kArne se AAp unke Aur bhi kArib AAte jAenge.

FormulA 9
AAp jAb bhi unse mile unhe Hi yAA Hello yAA ShAke hAnd kArnA nA bhule....!!! isse ApnA pAn bAdAtA jAegA.

FormulA 100
LAdkiyon ko Good personAlity wAle LAdke bAhut Achche lAgte hAi....!!! issliye koi Achchi si Gym me exercise kAr Apni Body ko AttrActive bAnAye. isse LAdkiyAn AApko dekhte hi impress ho jAengi.

FormulA 11
AgAr AApke pAss cell phone hAi Aur us lAdki ke pAAs bhi ( jise AAp pAtAnA chAhte hAi)....!!! to AksAr usko Funny SMS yAA Love SMS yAA Friendship SMS bhejte rAhe. AisA kArne se AAp unki yAAdo me bAne rAhenge.

FormulA 12
Friendship Aur VAlentines dAy ko unhe hAmeshA wish kAre Aur ek PyArA sA Gift jArur de. AisA kArnA nAjdiki bAdAne ke liye bAhut jAruri hAi.

FormulA 13
LAdkiyon se hAmeshA RomAntic mood me hi bAAt kAre....!!! Aise bAAt kAre jisse unhe lAge ki AAp ko unse bAAt kArke bAhut hi mAzA AA rAhA hAi.

FormulA 14
HAmeshA unko Respect de....!!! isse AAp unki nAzAron me ek Achche LAdke bAne rAhenge....!!! jo LAdki pAtAne ke liye bAhut hi jAruri hAi.

FormulA 15
LAdkiyon se kAbhi mAt shArmAiye....!!! MAximum LAdki shArmile LAdko ko pAsAnd nAhi kArti hAi....!!! issliye hAmeshA frAnkly unse mile.

FormulA16
Apni PersonAlity perfect rAkhne ke liye hAmeshA chust durust dikhe....!!! nA ki sust yAA kAAmchor. LAdkiyAn furtile LAdko ko hi pAsAnd kArti hAi.

FormulA 17
AgAr LAdki Filmo ki shAukin hAi to usse AksAr Film ke hi bAre me bAAte kAre....!!! isse wo AApse Apni feeling bAntkAr khush Aur impress hongi.

FormulA 18
AAp Apne din ki shuruwAt unhe ek mAst Good Morning SMS bhejkAr kAren.

FormulA 19
RAAt ko sone se pAhle ek PyArA sA Good Night SMS bhejkAr bhi AAp unhe impress kAr sAkte hAi.

FormulA 20
LAdkiyon se usi topic pAr bAAt-chit kAro jis me use bAAt kArne me mAzA AAye....!!! isse wo AApse bAhut sAmAy tAk bAAt kAr sAkti hAi. Aur AApki Dosti PyAr me bhi bAdAl sAkti hAi.

FormulA 21
LAdkiyon ke sAmne hAmeshA ApnA CinA tAAn kAr chAle....!!! AisA kArne se MArdAngi jhAlkti hAi Aur LAdkiyAn MArdon ko hi pAsAnd kArti hAi.

FormulA 22
LAdkiyAn dArpok lAdko ko pAsAnd nAhi kArti hAi issliye AAp dArnA chhod de AAr LAdkiyon se ek nidAr ki tArAh reAct kAre.

FormulA 23
AgAr LAdki AApse kuch mAnge to use jArur purA kArne ki koshish kAre....!!! isse LAdkiyAn AApse itni impress hongi jiski AAp imAgine bhi nAhi kAr sAkte.

FormulA 24
Unke Birth dAy pAr sAbse pehle AAp wish kAre....!!! isse wo AApko kAbhi nAhi bhul pAyengi.

FormulA 25
HAmeshA unse kisi nA kisi bAhAne milte rAhe....!!! isse AAp unki nAzAron Aur yAAdo me AksAr bAne rAhenge.

FormulA 26
unhe Dinner yA Lunch ke liye offer kAre....!!! Ager wo Agree ho jAye to unke pAsAnd ke hotel me unke pAsAnd ki dish order kAre. wo turAnt AAp pAr fidA ho jAyegi.

FormulA 27
LAdkiyon se pehle Dosti kAro bAAd me unse Apne Dil ki bAAt kAhnA....!!! PyAr ke mAmle me pAtience se kAAm le.

FormulA 28
jAb wo AAp se bAAt kAre to unki bAAto ko unki AAnkon me AAnkhen dAlkAr dhyAnpurvAk sune.

FormulA 29
AgAr LAdki AApki neighbor ho to roz subAh unko dekhte hi Good Morning jArur kAhe.

FormulA 30
AgAr LAdki AApki ClAss met ho to unse shAke hAnd jArur kAre.

FormulA 31
AgAr AAp unke sAth AntAkhAri khele to unko tArget kArke LoveAble song jArur gAye.

FormulA 32
AgAr wo AApse rAste pAr Lift mAnge to AAp use jArur de....!!! Aur Aise reAct kAre jAise AAp bAhut jAruri kAAm se jA rAhe the Lekin unke liye AApne jAruri kAAm chhod kAr unhe Lift di....!!! isse wo AAp se Impress hue binA nAhi rAh sAkegi Aur AAp use AAsAni se pAtA lenge.

FormulA 33
AgAr wo koi problem me ho to sAbse pehle unki help ke liye AAp pAhuche....!!! ye LAdki pAtAne ke liye jAruri sAbAk hAi.

FormulA 34
LAdkiyAn bAhut emotionAl hoti hAi isliye unki emotion ki hAmeshA sAmmAAn kAre.

FormulA 35
AgAr LAdki koi bhAri kAAm kAr rAhi hAi to AAp unki mAdAd jArur kAre. kAAm me hAth bAtAne se PyAr bAdAtA hAi.

FormulA 36
AgAr School/College me unki GAAdi kA Petrol khAtAm ho gAyA ho to AAp Apni GAAdi kA Petrol nikAlkAr jArur de.

FormulA 37
unse hAmeshA hAnsi mAzAk kArte rAhe....!!! Lekin ek limit me hi.

FormulA 38
AgAr LAdki kAhi pAidAl jA rAhi ho to AAp unhe Apni Bike me PAhuchA dene kA offer jArur kAre....!!! AisA impression jAmAne ke liye bAdiyA mAukA hAi.

FormulA 39
AAp kisi LAdki ko bAhut pyAr kArte hAi to Apni feeling ko Pink color ke pAper pAr likhkAr unhe jArur de....!!! yAAni unhe Love Letter likhe.

FormulA 40
MAximum LAdkiyAn Funny LAdke pAsAnd kArti hAi....!!! isliye AApko bhi Funny bAnAnA pAdegA.

FormulA 41
JAb bhi AAp LAdkiyon se mile to unhe ek MAzedAr Jokes jArur sunAye....!!! yAA kuch Funny ShAyAri hi. (click here for Funny SMS & Funny ShAyAri Collection)

FormulA 42
AgAr wo Morning wAlk kArne jAti hAi to AAp bhi uske sAth sAth wAlk kArne jAye....!!! subAh ke mAst mAhAul me AAp unse MAzedAr bAAte kAr unhe impress kAr sAkte hAi.

FormulA 43
AgAr unke pAAs cell phone hAi to kisi bhi bAhAne unse ContAct kArte rAhiye....!!! Aur SMS bhi bhejte rAhiye. (click here for World’s lArgest collection of SMS)

FormulA 44
AgAr unkA tAbiyAt thik nAA ho to unse milne jArur jAye....!!! Aur unkA hAAl chAAl jArur puche.

FormulA 45
Apne Birth DAy me unhe invite kArnA nA bhule....!!! Aur AAye to ye kAhnA “AAp hi kA intzAr kAr rAhA thA....!!! Ab AAp AA gAi ho Ab mAi CAke kAtungA.

FormulA 46
unke diye hue Gift ki tArif jArur kAre....!!! tArif kArnA Deep me Ghee dAlne ke sAmAn hAi.

FormulA 47
AgAr unkA MAil ID AAp jAnte ho to unko MAil kArte rAhe Aur ye ehsAs dilAye ki AAp dinbhAr unki hi khAyAlo me khoye rAhte hAi.

FormulA 48
AgAr AAp ko Apne PAdosAn ko pAtAnA ho to unke ghAr AAte jAte rAhe Aur jArurAt pAdne pAr unki mAdAd kArte rAhe.

FormulA 49
AgAr PAdosAn kA bhAi bhi hAi to....!!! Pehle uske bhAi se Dosti kAro....!!! uske bhAi ki nAzAro me AAp ek sAmAjhdAr LAdke ki tArAh rAho....!!! isse AApkA unke ghAr AAnA jAnA lAgA rAhegA.

FormulA 50
HAr insAn Apni tArif sunAnA chAhtA hAi....!!! isliye AAp LAdki ke hAr Chijo ki tArif kArte rAhe.

FormulA 51
LAdkiyon se hAmeshA Confidence ke sAth hi bAAt kAre.

FormulA 52
AgAr AAp kisi LAdki ko PAtAnA chAhte hAi to usse bAAt kArne ki koshish kAre. Aur Apni feeling ko kisi din Letter me likhkAr unhe de do. isse LAdki AApke HimmAt ki KAyAl ho jAyegi.

FormulA 53
AgAr unkA koi Nick nAme ho to AAp unko Nick nAme se hi pukAre. isse AAp unko Apne se lAgenge.

FormulA 54
JAb bhi AAp unse mile to unko uske pAsAnd ki ChocolAte jArur de. LAdkiyon ke shAuk pure kArne se unko PAtAne me AAsAni hoti hAi.

FormulA 55
AgAr LAdki ice-creAm khAne ki shAukin ho to unko jArur isske liye offer kArte rAhe..

FormulA 56
LAdkiyAn AgAr group me ho to AAp unhe (Jinhe PAtAnA hAi) hi dekhte rAhe....!!! AisA kArne se wo bhi AAp ke tArAf AttrAct ho jAegi.

FormulA 57
AgAr AAp kisi LAdki ko Propose kArnA chAhte ho to....!!! AAp unkA ek hAth pAkAdkAr unhe Red Rose dekAr Propose kAre. wo AAp kA ProposAl jArur Accept kAr legi.

FormulA 58
unki hAr AdA ki tArif jArur kAre....!!! wo jArur khush hongi.

FormulA 59
Propose kArnA MArd kA kAAm hAi iss liye AAp ye mAt soche ki LAdki AAkAr AApko Propse kArengi....!!! PAhle AApko hi Propose kArnA hogA.

FormulA 60
AgAr wo kAbhi AApke ghAr ke sAmne se gujre to use Apne ghAr jArur bulAyen....!!! Aur ChAAy yA Coffee jArur pilAye. isse wo AApke mehmAn nAvAji ki kAyAl ho jAyegi.

FormulA 61
AgAr AAp unkA ghAr jAnte hAi to Holi ke din uske ghAr unke sAth Holi khelne jAnA nA bhule Aur unke sAth khub hAnsi mAzAk kAre.

FormulA 62
AgAr AAp PArty me kisi LAdki ko PAtAnA chAhte ho to....!!! AAp sAbse pehle unse jAkAr mile Aur ApnA Introduction de....!!! isse dhire-dhire bAAt chit kA silsilA shuru hogA Aur AAp use PAtA lenge.

FormulA 63

AAp ki PAdosAn AgAr School/College jAne ke liye nikAl rAhi ho to AAp unke sAng hole Aur unse bAAt kArte hue AAp bhi jAye. AisA Continue 3 Dino tAk kAre Aur 4th Din mAt jAnA....!!! wo 5th Din AApse jArur puchegi kAl kyu nAhi AAye. Aur iss tArAh mulAkAt se AAp use PAtA hi lenge.

FormulA 64
LAdki PAtAne ke liye Confidence bAhur hi jAruri hAi isliye AAp PAhle Apne AAp pe bhArosA rAkhiye ki AAp use PAtA kAr hi Dumm lenge....!!! Aur AAp Apne Confidence ke bAl pAr hi use PAtA lenge.

FormulA 65
LAdkiyAn PAtAne ke liye Apne AAp me kuch quAlity pAidA kAre....!!! jAise Singing....!!! DAncing....!!! Body Building....!!! Acting. quAlity hone se LAdki PAtAnA bAhut AsAn ho jAtA hAi.

FormulA 66
AgAr AAp me koi buri AAdAt ho to use chhod de....!!! bure LAdke pAsAnd nAhi kiye jAte hAi....!!! isliye Apni buri AAdAto ko chod de.

FormulA 67
LAdkiyon ke sAmne kAbhi bhi Smoking nA kAre Aur nA hi Drinking. ye bAAt hAmeshA yAAd rAkhe LAdkiyAn Good MAnners wAle LAdko ko hi PAsAnd kArti hAi.

FormulA 68
LAdkiyon ke sAmne kAbhi bhi GAndi bAAte nAA kAre isse AApkA unke sAmne ek bAd boy ki imAge bAn jAygi. AAp unke sAmne TAlented person ki tArAh hi BehAvior kAre.

FormulA 69
AgAr AAp jAnte hAi ki wo kis Film Hero ki FAne hAi to AAp usi Hero ke jAisi HAre Style rAkhe Aur usi ki tArAh dikhne ki khoshish kAre. LAdki AApse impress hogi hi.

FormulA 70
AAp hAmeshA unse sAch bolne ki koshish kAre....!!! isse AAp unhe sAchche LAdke lAgenge. jo ki impress kArne ke liye jAruri hAi.

FormulA 71
AAp unke prAti hAmeshA vAfAdAr rAhe....!!! hAr LAdkiyAn ek vAfAdAr sAthi ki tAlAsh me rehti hAi.

FormulA 72
AgAr AApke mAkAAn ke kirAye dAAr ko PAtAnA ho to uske kuch mAhine kA KirAyA mAAf kArde. isse AApki unse nAjdikiyAn bAdengi. Aur wo AApkA ehsAn mAnd ho jAengi

FormulA 73
LAdkiyAn hAzirjAwAb LAdkon ko PAsAnd kArti hAi issliye AAp hAzirjAwAb dene wAle person bAniye.

FormulA 74
KAi LAdkiyAn filmo ki bAAte kArnA bAhut pAsAnd kArti hAi....!!! Aise LAdkiyon se AAp unke pAsAnd ki filmo ke bAAre me bAAte kArke unhe impress kAr sAkte hAi.

FormulA 75
intelligent LAdko se LAdkiyAn impress hoti hAi issliye AAp Apni Study improve kArke LAdkiyon ko impress kAr sAkte hAi.

FormulA 76
LAdkiyAn PAtAne ke liye AApkA GenerAl Knowledge Strong honA chAhiye....!!! GK LAdkiyon ko PAtAne me bAhut hi Helpful hotA hAi.

FormulA 77
LAdkiyAn sAAf suthri imAge wAle LAdko ko Like kArti hAi issliye AAp jhAgde-jhAnjhAton se dur hi rAhe.

FormulA 78
AAp jis LAdki ko PAtAnA chAhte hAi use AgAr koi pAreshAAn kAr rAhA ho to AAp us LAdki ki mAdAd kAre....!!! isse wo LAdki AApse turAnt PAt jAyegi.

FormulA 79
AgAr wo koi khAAs type ke Book reAd kArne ki shAukin ho to AAp use wo Book Gift kAre (for exA. Comics....!!! Film MAgAzines etc.). wo AApse jArur impress hongi Aur AAp unhe eAsily PAtA lenge.

FormulA 80
hAmeshA koi bAdiyA Body SprAy (Perfume) lAgAyA kAre. AApke Body ki khushbu LAdkiyon ko AApki Aur AttrAct kAregi

FormulA 81
AgAr wo AApki kuch help kAre to usse thAnks jArur kAhe. impression jAmAne ke liye ye chhoti-chhoti formAlities bAhut kAAm AAti hAi.

FormulA 82
AgAr AApke pAAs Bike ho to use hAmeshA sAAf suthri rAkhe....!!! LAdkiyAn SAAf suthri Bike me hi ghumnA PAsAnd kArti hAi. issliye Apne Bike ko AttrActive bAnAAye.

FormulA 83
AAp Mobile set AisA rAkhe jo AApki PersonAlity ko suet kAre. Achhe Mobile set rAkh kAr LAdkiyon ko Apni tArAf AttrAct kiyA jA sAktA hAi.

FormulA 84
Apne cell phone ke wAllpAper me unkA Photo set kAr ke rAkhe....!!! Aur use dikhAye wo AApse jArur impress hongi.

FormulA 85
AAp kisi din unse ye kAh kAr ki “AAp mujhe AApnA AutogrAph denge to ye meri khushnAsibi hogi”. AAp unkA AutogrAph mAngkAr unko impress kAr sAkte hAi.

FormulA 86
Apne cell phone me koi RomAntic Ring tone hi rAkhe....!!! RomAntic Ring tone sunkAr LAdkiyAn jArur impress hoti hAi. LAdkiyon ko PAtAne ke liye unhe impress kArnA bAhut hi jAruri hAi.

FormulA 87
unke ghAr ke pAAs se jAb bhi gujre unhe dekhne ki koshish jArur kAre. unhe ye ehsAs dilAnA jAruri hAi ki AAp unme interest rAkhte hAi.

FormulA 88
AgAr AAp unse kAhi mile Aur unke sAth me unke PArents ho to unke PAAnv (chArAn) chhue. LAdki turAnt AApse impress hogi (AgAr LAdki JAAnPehchAn wAli ho ussi condition me hi).

FormulA 89
AgAr wo Age me AApse chhoti ho phir bhi AAp unse “AAP” kAhkAr hi bAAt kAre. unhe lAgnA chAhiye ki AAp unkA bAhut respect kArte hAi.

FormulA 90
unke sAth kAbhi bhi bAhAs nAhi kAre hAmeshA unki bAAt kA sAth de. tAbhi unko PAtA sAkte hAi.

FormulA 91
hAr LAdki Apne Khubsurti ki tArif sunAnA chAhti hAi issliye AAp unki khubsurti kA hAmeshA tArif kArte rAhe. ye LAdki PAtAne kA Super hit FormulA hAi.

FormulA 92
AAp unhe hAmeshA ye kAhe ki wo DuniyA ki sAbse BeAutiful LAdki hAi. wo AAp se hAmeshA khush rAhegi Aur eAsily set ho jAyegi.

FormulA 93
mere ek Dost ki 56 Girl Friend hAi. usne un sAbhi ko PAtAne ke liye jo FormulA use kiyA hAi wo hAi- “LAdkiyon se hAmeshA unke bAAre me hi bAAte kAro”. wo hAmeshA LAdkiyon se unke hi bAAre me bAAte kArte rAhtA thA Aur LAdkiyAn PAt gAi.

FormulA 94
unse kAbhi bhi gAndi bAAte nA kAre unse Achhi bAAte hi kAre....!!! tAbhi kAmyAbi milegi.

FormulA 95
AAp unse ye kAhe ki AAp unke liye kuch bhi kAr sAkte hAi....!!! wo AAp se impress hogi hi.

FormulA 96
MAximum LAdkiyAn CleAn shAve kiye hue LAdko ko Like kArti hAi issliye sexy dikhne ke liye shAve kArte rAhe.

FormulA 97
LAdkiyon ko kAbhi bhi ghur kAr nAA dekhe bAlki unhe hAmeshA PyAAr bhAri nAzAron se hi dekhe....!!! LAdki AApki DiwAni ho jAyegi.

FormulA 98
AgAr kAbhi unke sAth Film jAne kA mAukA mile to koi RomAntic Film hi dekhne jAye....!!! unke sAth RomAntic Film dekhi mAtlAb LAdki PAtti.

FormulA 99
LAdkiyAn Apne Julfon (hAir) ki tArif sunAnA PAsAnd kArti hAi....!!! issliye unhe PAtAne ke liye unke Julfon pAr ShAyAri sunAye yAA tArif kAre. (click here for TArif ShAyAri)

FormulA 100
AAp unki sAbhi bAAton pAr Agree kAre unke kisi bhi bAAton ko nAA kAAte....!!! AAp dono ke think milne kA ehsAs dilAkAr bhi AAp unhe AAsAni se PAtA sAkte hAi.

FormulA 101
AAp unke sAth hAmeshA unke bAAre me hi bAAte kAre....!!! Aur unko speciAl hone kA ehsAs jArur dilAye....!!! isse wo AApki DiwAni ho jAyegi


AApki dosti ko ehsAAn mAAngte hAi....!!!
NibhAnA ApnA imAAn mAAngte hAi....!!!
Lekin hAm wo nAhi jo dosti me Apni jAAn de denge....!!!
Kyonki dosto ko to hAm Apni jAAn mAAnte hAi.
~`~
ChAAnd AdhoorA hAi sitAAro ke binA....!!!
GulshAn AdhoorAA hAi bAhAAro ke binA....!!!
SAmundAr AdhoorA hAi kinAAro ke binA....!!!
JeenAA AdhoorA hAi tum jAise yAAro ke binA.
~`~
ChAAhtA hu tujhe pyAAr du....!!!
Dost pe Apni jindAgee wAAr du....!!!
JAb terA messAge nAhi milAtA to....!!!
MAn kArtA hAi teri jAAn nikAAl du.
~`~
Phool nAhi hAm kAAnto me bAste hAi....!!!
Khushi nAhi hAm gAm me hAste hAi....!!!
ShAAyri kArnA AAsAAn nAhi dArd dil me hotA hAi
TAb shAAyAr bAnte hAi.
~`~
ChAAnd ko Akele me shArm AAti hogi....!!!
BAAt kuch tumhAAre bhi sAmAjh me AAti hogi....!!!
JAb bhi jikrA hotA hAi smArt dosto kA....!!!
Tumhe meri yAAd bAhut AAti hogi.
~`~
JAAte jAAte wo koi Achi nishAAni de gAye....!!!
UmAr bhAr dohrA sAku Aisi kAhAAni de gAye....!!!
HAm to reh gAye pyAAse....!!!
PAye hAmAAri pAlko ko wo pAAni de gAye..
~`~
Chune se koi cheez Apni nAhi hoti....!!!
HAr muskurAAhAt khushi nAhi hoti....!!!
KehnA to chAAhte hAi bAhut kuch mAgAr....!!!
KAbhi AlfAAz to kAbhi jubAAn sAAth nAhi hoti.
~`~
KAun kehAtA hAi mohAbbAt ki jubAAn hoti hAi....!!!
LAbo ke binA khule hi hAkeekAt bAyAAn hoti hAi....!!!
Ishq wo khudAAi hAi dost jo lAfjo se nAhi
AAnkho se bAyAAn hoti hAi.
~`~
HAr khAfA hAr berookhi ko tumhAAri mohAbbAt sAmAjhAte hAi....!!!
HAr nAArAjgi hAr doori ko tumhAAri chAAhAt sAmAjhAte hAi....!!!
O sAnAm hAm to sirf tum se hi pyAAr kArAte hAi.
~`~
KArte hAi tujhe pyAAr kArte hi rehenge....!!!
BewAfA duniyA se hAm lAdAte hi rAhenge....!!!
Ae bhool jAAo tujhko ye mere bAs me nAhi....!!!
ChAhA hAi tujhe hAm chAAhte hi rAhenge…
~`~
Chehre pAr bAnAAwAt kA gussA....!!!
AAnkho se chAlAktA pyAAr bhi hAi…
Is ishq-e-AdA ko kyA kAhiye inkAAr bhi hAi…
ikArAAr bhi hAi.
~`~
AAnkho ki sAjA tAb tAk jAb tAk deedAAr nA ho....!!!
Dil ki sAjA tAb tAk jAb tAk pyAAr nA ho....!!!
Ye jindAgi bhi ek sAjA hAi....!!!
JAb tAk AAp jAisA yAAr nA ho.
~`~
ApnA khushi se nAhi gAm se bhi rishtA hAi merA....!!!
Ye to AApki jindAgee he wo ek hissA hAi merA....!!!
Ae dost AApse lAfjo kA nAhi rooh kA rishtA he merA.
~`~
Kisi ne hAme AAshiq kAhA....!!!
Kisi ne hAme deewAAnA kAhA....!!!
In AAnkho me AAnsu tAb AAye....!!!
JAb unhone hAme begAnA kAhA.
~`~
AAp jAise dost kuch khAAs lAgAte hAi....!!!
MAn mAin hAr wAqt ek AAs rAkhte hAi....!!!
JAAne kAb AA jAAye SMS AApkA....!!!
IsAliye cell ko dil ke pAAs rAkhte hAi.
~`~
MohAbbAt me mArnA kAAm nA AAyA....!!!
Dil or jAAn bhi di phir bhi AArAAm nA AAyA....!!!
HAr shAkhs thA mere sAAth pAr
Ek uskA hi pAigAAm nA AAyA.
~`~
YAAdo ke hAseen pAl mitAAye nAhi jAAte....!!!
GujAre huye lAmhe bhoolAye nAhi jAAte....!!!
Tum lAAkh kAro mohAbbAt ki nAseehAt....!!!
Jo jAAn se pyAAre ho bhoolAye nAhi jAAte.
~`~
Apni bebAsi pAr AAj ronA AAyA....!!!
Doosro ko kyA mAine Apno ko AAjmAyA....!!!
HAr dost ki tAnhAAi door ki....!!!
Lekin khud ko hAr mod pAr AkelA pAyA.
~`~
Toone mujhse kyon dAgA ki....!!!
Mere pyAAr ki tune mujhe ye kAisi sAjA di ki
HAr din gujArtA hAi merA tAnAhAAiyo me....!!!
MAine to chAAhA thA tujhAko dil ki gehrAAiyo se.
~`~
Unko pyAAr kArne kA hisAAb nA AAyA....!!!
Meri kisi bhi bAAt kA jAwAAb nA AAyA....!!!
HAm to jAAgte rAhe unke hi khyAAlo me....!!!
Aur unko so kAr bhi hAmArA khwAAb nA AAyA.
~`~
Wo AAte to hAi pAr sAmAy se nAhi....!!!
Wo chAlte to hAi pAr mAn se nAhi....!!!
KAun kehtA hAi ki wo pyAAr nAhi kArte....!!!
KArte to hAi pAr hAm se nAhi.
~`~
AAsmAAn se utAAri hAi....!!! tAAro se sAjAAi hAi....!!!
ChAAnd ki chAAndni se nAhAAi hAi....!!!
Mere dost! sAmbhAAl ke rAkhnA ye dost
Ye meri jindAgee bhAr ki kAmAAi hAi.
~`~
Ae mere SMS mere dost ke pAAs jAnA....!!!
AgAr wo so rAhA ho to shor mAt mAchAnA....!!!
JAb wo jAAge to dheere se muskurAnA....!!!
Phir dil kA hAAl bAtAnA- miss you.
~`~
AAj phir dil hAi kuch udAAs udAAs....!!!
JAAne kyon ek mAAyusi si chAAyi hAi....!!!
AAj phir pAlko pe pAAni hAi....!!!
Bheed me hu phir kyon ye tAnhAAi hAi.
~`~
MehAfil mAin jAb dekhA AchAnAk unko....!!!
Unse gujAr kAr AAti hAwA shArAAb hone lAgi....!!!
Unhone AAke hAAl pooch liyA merA....!!!
JAAne kyon meri hAAlAt khArAAb hone lAgi.
~`~
IntAjAAr uskA jiske AAne ki koi AAs ho....!!!
Khooshbu bhi us phool ki jo mere pAAs ho…
MAnjil nA mil sAki hAme to koi gAm nAhi…
GAm bhi usi shAkhs kA hotA jise pyAAr kA ehAsAAs ho.
~`~
Tujhe dekhnA chAAhti hu hAr pAl
ShAAyAd tujhse bAhut pyAAr kArti hu
KAl tAk to tujhe jAAnti bhi nA thi
AAj terA intAjAAr kArti hu…
~`~
PyAAr ke ujAAle me gAm kA AndherA AAtA kyon hAi....!!!
Jisko hAm chAAhe wAhi roolAtA kyon hAi....!!!
AgAr wo merA nAseeb nAhi....!!!
To khudA Aise logo se milAtA kyon hAi?
~`~
Sehmi-sehmi nigAAho me khwAAb hAm jAgA denge....!!!
Sooni-sooni rAAho pe phool hAm khilA denge....!!!
AAp hAmAAre sAng muskurAkAr to dekho....!!!
AApkA hAr gAm hAm bhoolA denge.
~`~
TAnhAAi hAi pyAAr me....!!! bArbAdi hAi pyAAr me....!!!
AAnsu hAi pyAAr me....!!! bebAsi hAi pyAAr me....!!!
HAme sAb pAtA hAi lekin kyA kAre....!!!
HAm bhi hAi pyAAr me.
~`~
Teri yAAd me bAhut pAigAAm likhAte hAi....!!!
Teri yAAd me gujAAri wo shAAm likhAte hAi....!!!
Wo kAlAm bhi teri deewAAni ho jAAti hAi....!!!
Jis se terA nAAm likhAte hAi.
~`~
Is “dil” me dekho tAsweer tumhAAri hAi....!!!
In “AAnkho” me dekho tAsweer tumhAAri hAi....!!!
Jee rAhe hAi Ab tAk Apni mArjee se....!!!
Lekin ye mAut “AmAAnAt” tumhAAri hAi.
~`~
MAn me sAbkA ArAmAAn nAhi hotA....!!!
HAr koi dil kA mehmAAn nAhi hotA....!!!
PAr jo ek bAAr dil me sAmA jAAye
Use bhoolAnA AAsAAn nAhi hotA.
~`~
JindAgee tere bAgAir Adhoori si lAgti hAi…
jindAgee jeene ke liye teri jAroorAt si lAgti hAi....!!!
AA jAA phir se lAut kAr meri jindAgee me tu....!!!
Meri AAnkhen AAj bhi pyAAr ko wo din dhoondA kArti hAi.
~`~
JAAti nAhi hAi AAnkhon se soorAt teri....!!!
JAAti nAhi hAi dil se mohAbAAt teri....!!!
MehAsoos ye hotA hAi jeene ke liye....!!!
PehAle se jyAdA hAi Ab jAroorAt teri.
~`~
KitnA hAAsil hAi sAnAm terA ye muskurA denA....!!!
NAjAre milAkAr phir nAjAre jhukA denA....!!!
KAise kAhu ki kitAnA AAsAAn hAi tere liye....!!!
QAyAmAt ki bijAliyA girA denA.
~`~
Koi itnA chAAhe tumhe to bAtAnA....!!!
Koi itAnA pAlko pe bithAAye to bAtAnA....!!!
PyAAr kAr to legA hAr koi....!!!
PAr koi meri tArAh nibhAAye to bAtAnA.
~`~
KAAsh bAnAAne wAAle ne hAme AAnsu bAnAyA hotA....!!!
Aur “usAki” AAnkh me bAsAyA hotA....!!!
JAb girAte unAki AAnkh se unki god me....!!!
To hAme mArne kA mAzA AAyA hotA…
~`~
KAbhi jindAgee ke pAno ko ultA kAr dekhiyegA....!!!
AApko ek shAkhs se....!!! nA dil se hotA hAi....!!!
Ye pyAAr to ittefAAk se hotA hAi....!!!
Or kyA kAhe pyAAr kArke bhi pyAAr nA mile....!!!
Ye ittefAAk sirf hAmAAre hi sAAth hotA hAi…?
~`~
ToofAAn me logo ko kinAAre bhi milAte hAi....!!!
JAhAAn me logo ko sAhAAre bhi milAte hAi....!!!
DuniyA me sAbse pyAAri hAi jindAgee
Kuch log jindAgee se pyAAre bhi milAte hAi.
~`~
Dekh meri AAnkho me khwAAb kiske hAi....!!!
Dil me mere sulAkhAte toofAn kiske hAi....!!!
NAhi gujrA koi AAj tAk is rAAste se
Ho kAr phir ye kAdmo ke nishAAn kiske hAi.
~`~
JAb ho AApkA pyArA sA sAAth Aur
Ho hAAtho me hAAth....!!! tAnhAAi ho…rAngeen....!!!
Ho sAmA jAhA koi Aur nAhi sirf AAp Aur hAm ho wAhA....!!!
TAb hogi bArsAAt pyAAr ki....!!! mere Aur sirf mere pyAAr ki.
~`~
ShAAm utAri jindAgee gAAne lAgi....!!!
MAut ko phir neend AAne lAgi....!!!
Phir kisi ki yAAd kA deepAk jAlA Aur
Andheri rAAt muskurAAne lAgi.
~`~
Dost jindAgee ke kisi mod pAr mulAAkAAt hui....!!!
To nAjAr nA churA lenA....!!!
AApko kAhi dekhA hAi bAs
Ye keh kAr bhoolA lenA.
~`~
Jis duniyA me bAste ho tum....!!!
Usi duniyA me bAste hAi hAm....!!!
MAgAr khudA ki kudrAt dekho....!!!
Tumhi se milAne ko tArAste hAi hAm.
~`~
AgAr tAlAAsh kAroge to koi mil hi jAAyegA....!!!
MAgAr kAun hAmAAri tArAh tumAhe chAAhe gA....!!!
Tumhe jAroor koi chAAhto se dekhegA....!!!
MAgAr wo AAnkhen hAmAAri kAhAn se lAAye gA.
~`~
Kisi ko mohAbbAt ki AchAAyi ne mAAr dAlA....!!!
Kisi ko mohAbbAt ki gehrAAhi ne mAAr dAlA....!!!
BAch nA sAkA is mohAbbAt se koi....!!!
Jo bAch gAyA use tAnhAAi ne mAAr dAlA.
~`~
Kisi bhi mod pAr hAm AApko khone nAhi denge....!!!
JudA honA bhi chAAhe....!!! chAAndni rAAto me....!!!
AAyegi hAmAAri yAAd....!!! hAmAAri yAAd ke wo pAl....!!!
AApko sone nAhi denge.
~`~
Khushi AAp ke liye-gAm mere liye....!!!
JindAgee AApAke liye-mAut mere liye....!!!
MuskurAnA AAp ke liye-AAnsu mere liye....!!!
SAb kuch AApke liye or AAp mere liye.
~`~
TAnhAAiyo me jikrA terA hi AAyA hAi....!!!
Tu nAhi jAAnti tujhme mAin kyA pAyA hAi....!!!
Phoolo sA sundAr rishtA hAi Aur ek AApkA wAqt hAi jisme....!!!
HAme yAAd kArne wAlA pAl hi nAhi AAtA?
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎


SAntA- “KAl AApne Apne bAche ko bAhut pitA|
AAkhir Aisi kyA bAAt ho gAyi thi usse?”
BAntA- “DArhAsAl do din bAAd us bAdmAAsh kA
result nikAlne wAAlA hAi Aur mAi AAj hi ek
mAhine ke tour pAr jAA rAhA hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SAntA- “Meri pAtni merA itnA khyAAl rAkhti
hAi ki kAl mehmAAno ke vidAA hone ke bAAd jAb
mAine usse kAhA ki gArAm pAAni kA jAldi prAbAnd
kAre to usi wAkt pAAni gArAm kAr diyA|”
BAntA- “WAAh! Lekin us sAmAy bechAAri ko pAAni
gArAm kArne kA kAsht kyu diyA?”
SAntA- “Kyuki mAi thAnde pAAni se bArtAn
nAhi dho sAktA thA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
HAdbAdi me kAhi jAAte dekhkAr ek yuvti
ne Apne Doctor pitA se poochA- “KyA bAAt hAi
pApA? AAp itni jAldi me kAhA jAA rAhe hAi?”
Doctor- “Abhi-Abhi ek vyAkti kA phone AAyA thA....!!!
keh rAhA thA ki hAAye....!!! mAi mAr jAAungA… turAnt AA jAo|”
NAvyuvti ne shArmAkAr kAhA- “PApA…vAh…vAh
phone AApke liye nAhi mere liye thA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PutrA- “PitAji....!!! mAi nAdi me AAge jAAungA|”
PitA- “NAhi....!!! doob jAAoge|”
PutrA- “NAhi dooboongA....!!! mujhe tAirnA AAtA hAi|”
PitA- “YAdi doob gAyA to ghAr jAAkAr teri khoob pitAi kArungA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
AchAAnAk bijli chAli gAyi to mombAttiyA jAlA
di gAyi| gArmi tej thi| isi beech ek mehmAAn
ne kAhA- “BhAi....!!! pAnkhe to chAlA do|”
MejbAAn ne mudkAr bAdi gAmbheertA se kAhA-
“PAnkhe chAlAne se mombAttiyA bujh jAyengi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek lAmbA tAgdA bAhut hi motA vyAkti dArji ki
dukAAn pAr pAhuchA|
DArji ne bAdi kAthinAyi se nAAp lekAr hAAfte hue kAhA-
“JAnAAb....!!! is shervAni ki silAAi ke sAu rupAye honge|”
MotA vyAkti- “PArAntu tumne Telephone pAr pAchAs
rupAye bAtAye the|”
DArji ne pAsine pochte hue kAhA- “Ji hAAn bAtAye to the....!!!
pArAntu shervAni ke bAtAye the....!!! shAAmiyAAne ke nAhi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
ShikshAk- “MAAn lo....!!! tum jungle me khAde ho....!!!
isi beech sher AA jAye to tum kyA kAroge?”
ChAAtrA- “Sir....!!! mAi kyA kArungA? Jo kuch kAregA....!!!
sher hi kAregA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
ChAAtrA (gAnit ke AdhyAApAk se)- “Sir....!!! hindi wAAle
TeAcher hindi me bolte hAi Aur Angreji wAAle
Angreji me....!!! phir AAp gAnit me kyu nAhi bolte?”
AdhyAApAk- “Chup bAith jAo....!!! jyAAdA teen pAAnch kAroge
to clAAs se nAu do gyAArAh kAr dungA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PutrA se nAArAAj hote hue pitA ne kAhA- “NAlAAyAk!
prem-pAtrA mAine bhi khoob likhe the mAgAr…|”
PutrA- “MAgAr kyA pitAji?”
PitA- “Teri tArAh gAlAt vyAAkArAn nAhi
likhA kArtA thA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PutrA- “PitAji....!!! mere liye dhol khArid dijiye|”
PitA- “KhArid sAktA hu....!!! pAr wAAdA kAro ki
tum mujhe pAreshAAn nAhi kAroge|”
PutrA- “nAhi pitAji....!!! mAi AApko bilkul pAreshAAn
nAhi kArungA| AApke so jAAne ke bAAd
hi use bAjAungA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
LAdkA- “MAi jo kAAm kArtA hu....!!! Apne AApko
usme dubokAr kArtA hu|”
LAdki- “To AAp bArAyA mehArbAAni
jAAkAr ek kuAA khodiye|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SAntA- “Doctor sAAhAb! SunA hAi AAjkAl
sAAp ke kAAtne kA ilAAj ho jAAtA hAi?”
Doctor- “SAbkA ilAAj ho jAAtA hAi|”
SAntA- “Kuch to AisA jAroor hogA....!!!
jiskA ilAAj nAhi hAi?”
Doctor- “HAAn! AurAt ke kAAtne kA
koi ilAAj nAhi hAi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
GeetA- “SeetA....!!! meri ghAdi kho gAyi....!!!
kyA tumne kAhi dekhA hAi?”
SeetA- “NAhi....!!! chAlti thi yA bAnd thi?”
GeetA-“ChAlti thi|”
SeetA- “TAb jAroor kAhi chAlkAr gAyi hogi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
BetA- “PitAji....!!! koi AAyA hAi|”
PitA- “KAun?”
BetA- “Koi mooch wAAlA hAi|”
PitA- “Keh do....!!! nAhi chAhiye|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premi- “He priye....!!! is bAAr mAi pArikshA
me fAil honA chAAhtA hu|”
PremikA- “Kyu?”
Premi- “YAdi mAi first AAyA to pitAji ne mujhe
science dilvAAne ko kAhA hAi....!!! second AAyA to commerce
dilvAyenge....!!! AgAr third AAyA to Arts dilvAyenge Aur
AgAr fAil ho gAyA to tumhAAre sAAth shAAdi kAr denge|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SAntA- “Doctor sAAhAb....!!! mujhe bArAbAr yAhi sApnA
dikhtA hAi ki mere pAAs se hokAr sundAr-sundAr
lAdkiyA teji se bhAAg rAhi hAi|”
Doctor- “Usme mujhse kyA chAAhte ho?”
SAntA- “AAp Aisi dAvA deejiye ki yA to un lAdkiyo
ki rAftAAr kuch kAm ho jAye yA meri bAdh jAye|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
MAhesh- “Mere bhAi kA koi bAAl bAAnkA
nAhi kAr sAktA|”
KAmAl- “KyA vAh bAhut bAhAAdur hAi?”
MAhesh- “NAhi....!!! vAh gAnjA hAi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Judge- “Tum sweekAr kArte ho ki tumne Apni pAtni
ko peetA hAi|”
Abhiyukt- “Ji hujoor! SweekAr kArtA hu|”
Judge- “Thik hAi....!!! tum pAr pAchAAs rupAye pAchAAs pAise
jurmAAnA kiyA jAAtA hAi|”
Abhiyukt- “Hujoor....!!! pAchAAs rupAye to sAmAjh me AAye....!!!
lekin pAchAAs pAise kis bAAt ke?”
Judge- “VAh mAnorAnjAn kAr hAi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PitA- “Dekho betA....!!! tum kAbhi shAAdi nA kArnA....!!!
yAh bAAd me bAhut bAdi musibAt pAidA kAr deti hAi|”
BetA- “HAAn pitAji....!!! mAi kAbhi shAAdi nAhi
kArungA Aur yAhi shikshA Apne bete ko bhi dungA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
ChAAndni rAAt ke romAntic pAlo me premikA ne kAhA-
“KAAsh! Agle jAnAm me mAi chAAnd bAnti!”
Premi- “Aur mAi chAndrAmA pAr utArne wAAlA
pehlA Antriksh yAAtri!”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PitA- “Bete....!!! tumhAAre dAdAji ne shAAdi ki Aur pAchtAye....!!!
mAine shAAdi ki Aur pAchtA rAhA hu....!!! tum kyA kAroge?”
BetA- “Ji....!!! vAnsh pArAmpArA nibhAungA| ShAAdi kArungA
Aur phir pAchtAungA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SAntA- “SunA hAi....!!! tumhAri pAtni ko nAukri mil gAyi?”
BAntA- “HAA|”
SAntA- “KAAm kyA kArti hAi?”
BAntA- “Logo ko chAdAti-utAArti hAi|”
SAntA ne hAirAt se poochA- “KyA…?”
BAntA ne bAAt ki sAfAi ki- “Bus conductor ho gAyi hAi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
BhikhAri (Apne bete se)- “Bete....!!! yAdi hAmAri sAAt
lAAkh ki lottery khul gAyi to sAbse pehle mAkAAn
khAridungA....!!! phir Apne Aur tum sAbke liye nAye-nAye
kApde silvAungA| Iske AlAAvA…|”
BetA (pitA ki bAAt beech me kAAt tA huA)- “Iske
AlAAvA pApA ek cAr khArid lenA| Hum log usme
bAithkAr bhikh mAAngne chAlA kArenge....!!! kyunki mAi
pAidAl chAlte-chAlte thAk jAAtA hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
BAr me ek AAdmi ne ek kutte ke sAAth kAdAm rAkhA|
BArtender- “YAh gAdhA yAhA kyu lAye ho?”
AAdmi- “Andhe ho kyA? YAh tumhe gAdhA dikhAi de rAhA hAi?”
BArtender- “MAi tumse bAAt nAhi kAr rAhA hu....!!!
mAi kutte se bAAt kAr rAhA hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Chotu- “TumhArA kuttA bAhut shArAArti hAi|
kyA tum ise thik nAhi kAr sAkte?”
Tinku- “YAAr! DhAiryA rAkho| YAAd nAhi....!!! tumhe
thik kArne me mujhe kitne din lAge the|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Doctor- “Tum kyA tAnkhwA chAAhti ho?”
Nurse- “Teen sAu rupAye mAhinA|”
Doctor- “Teen sAu rupAye mAi AnAnd ke sAAth de
sAktA hu|”
Nurse- “AnAnd ke sAAth to mAi chAAr sAu rupAye lungi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SAntA- “TumhAre dil ki tAklif kA kyA
hAAl hAi?”
BAntA- “Aji....!!! AAjkAl vAh mAAyke me hAi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SAntA- “AchAA huA....!!! mAi MAhArAshtrA me
pAidA nA huA|”
BAntA- “Wo kyu?”
SAntA- “Kyuki mujhe to MArAthi kA ek AkshAr
bhi nAhi AAtA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Workshop me Deviji dheele-dhAAle kApde pehAnkAr AAyi
to operAtor ne kAhA- “Deviji....!!! ye dheele-dhAAle kApde
pehAnkAr nA AAyA kijiye....!!! mAchine me fAs jAAne kA dAr hAi|”
Deviji- “JAnAAb....!!! AgAr mAi tight kApde pehAnkAr
AAungi to doosre logo kA mAchine me fAsne kA dAr hAi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek FAuji officer ko kisi lAmbi duty pAr desh se
bAAhAr bhejA gAyA| JAb pArdesh me rehte huye bAhut
din ho gAye to ek din use ek pAtrA milA jisme likhA
thA- “ChAlte sAmAy mAine AApko jo photo di thi....!!!
vAh vAApAs kAr dijiye....!!! mAi bAnk mAnAger se shAAdi
kArnA chAAhti hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SAntA seedi pAr chAde hue ghAr ki chAt pot rAhe
the| BAntA vAhA AAyA|
BAntA- “SAntA....!!! tumne brush mAjbooti se
pAkdA huA hAi nA?”
SAntA- “HAAn! Kyu?”
BAntA- “MAi thodi der ke liye seedi le jAA rAhA hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PutrA- “PitAji....!!! kAl mAine teen mAkhiyA mAAri
thi....!!! jinme do mAAdA thi Aur ek nAr|”
PitA- “Lekin betA....!!! tumhe ye kAise pAtA chAlA ki
unme do mAAdA thi Aur ek nAr?”
PutrA- “BAdi seedhi-si bAAt hAi....!!! ek mAkhi
AApki whisky ki botAl pAr bAithi thi....!!!
bAAki do AAine ke sAAmne mAndrA rAhi thi|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SeetA- “BehAn....!!! AAjkAl to mujhe sAAri rAAt jAAgnA
pAdtA hAi....!!! kyuki mere pAti beemAAr hAi|”
GeetA- “To koi nurse kyu nAhi rAkh leti?”
SeetA- “Nurse rAkhi hAi isliye to jAAgti hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
YuvAk- “KyA AAp mere sAAth dAnce kArengi?”
Yuvti- “Mujhe khed hAi....!!! mAi bAche ke sAAth dAnce
nAhi kAr sAkti|”
YuvAk- “Oh! mAAf kAre....!!! mujhe AApki hAAlAt kA
pAtA nAhi thA|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PAppu- “PApA....!!! rAAt ko mAine ek sApnA dekhA....!!!
AApne mujhe dAs rupAye diye hAi|”
PApA- “ChAl AAth AAnA jebkhArch kAAtkAr sAAdhe
nAu rupAye vAApAs kAr|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
PAtni kA honth upAr se thodA kAt gAyA| Doctor
ne dAwAi lAgAAkAr tAAnke lAgA diye| PAti chupchAp
dekhtA rAhA| Phir usne Doctor ke kAAn me kAhA-
“Doctor sAAhAb....!!! dono hontho ko tAAnke lAgAAkAr
seene ki AAp kitni fees lenge?”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
ShyAAm- “PitAji....!!! swAtAntrAtA divAs kAb AAtA hAi?”
PitA- “JAb tumhAri mummy ghAr me nAhi hoti|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
RAAt ke bAArAh bAj chuke the| BAchA Abhi tAk
soyA nAhi thA|
BAchA- “Mummy....!!! mujhe kAhAni sunAo|”
Mummy- “Thodi der Aur thehAr betA| Abhi tere
pApA AAyenge Aur hum dono ko ek kAhAni sunAyenge|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SAntA- “PApA! ShAAdi me kul milAkAr kitnA
khArch hotA hAi?”
PitA- “PAtA nAhi betA....!!! mAi Abhi tAk chukA
rAhA hu|”
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
MehmAAn- “Tum to kehte the ki tumhAre yAhA
mAchAr pAreshAAn nAhi kArte| Lekin tumhArA
ghAr to mAchAro se bhArA pAdA hAi|”
MejbAAn- “HAAn! Lekin ve hAme pAreshAAn nAhi
kArte| Hum unke AAdi ho chuke hAi|”

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
DekhA tujhe to rooh khush ho gAyi....!!!
Ek kAmi thi vo bhi puri ho gAyi....!!!
PAgAl hAin vo log jo kehte hAin ki....!!!
ChimpAnzi ki AAkhri nAsAl kAhin kho gAyi!!

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

Mere Dil....!!! Jiger....!!! Kidney....!!! Liver ho tum
wAqt-bewAqt AAye vo fever ho tum
Doob kAr jisme mArr jAoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevAn mein Ab to forever ho tum?

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

ShAAm hote hi ye Dil udAAs hotA hAi
Toote khwAboo ke siwA kuch nA pAss hotA hAi
TumAhri yAAd Aise wAqt bohAt AAti hAi
BAndAr jAb koi AAs-pAAs hotA hAi..

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

Vo AAj bhi hume dekh kAr muskurAte hAin
Vo AAj bhi hume dekh kAr muskurAte hAin
Yeh to unke bAchche hee kAminey hAin....!!!
Jo MAmA MAmA kehke bulAAte hAin

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

Ek lAdki thi diwAni si....!!! sunder si lAmbi si....!!!
NAzrein jhukAke shArmAke gAlion se guzrA kArti thi
lAtAk mAtAk chAlti thi....!!! Aur kAhA kArti thi....!!!
BArtAn Lelo BArtAn?.

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

Woh hAmAri gAli me AAye?
Woh hAmAri gAli me AAye?
Woh hAmAri gAli me AAye?
Aur chillAke bole?..
PAper RAddi wAlA !!!!!

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

Apni SurAt kA kAbhi to didAAr de
tAdAp rAhA hu kAbhi to ApnA pyAAr de
Apni AwAAz nAhi sunAni to mAt sunA
KAm se kAm 1 Missed cAll hee mAAr de

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

jAb tum AngdAyi leti ho tho merA dum nikAl jAtA hAi
jAb tum AngdAyi leti ho tho merA dum nikAl jAtA hAi
Arey thodA deodrAnt lAgAne mAin terA kyA jAtA hAi

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

TerAy husn ki kyA tAArif kAroo....!!! terA bAnder jAisA hAi moo
Teri zulfo ki kyA tAArif kAroo....!!! terAy ek ek bAAl pe hAi joo

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****

HAthi nAy kAhA jA kAr hAthni ki kAbAr per
SAdqey jAoon tumhAri pAtli kAmAr per ?

ChAAnd ko gAroor hAi ki uske pAAs noor hAi....!!! to kyA huA?. Mujhe bhi gAroor hAi ki merA Dost LAngoor hAi!
************ ***

TAzA hAwA kA jhokA AAyA.. Khushbu teri sAth lAyA?Phir mere dil me khAyAl AAyA?Ke lAgtA hAy ki?AAj bhi tu.. NAhi ?NAHAYA?

************ ***

Apun 1 sher bolegA....!!! Choro TArAf ChAnd fAAkrelA hAi light....!!! Boleto ho gAyeli hAi nighAt....!!! BAnd kArne kA tube light....!!! Aur sonekA tight....!!! Boleto....!!! Bye Good Night..

************ ***

Abe o burAi ke resgulle....!!! PAp ki berfi ....!!! BewAfA ke lAddu....!!! MAtlAbi chuski....!!!BAdmAshi ke pedhe....!!! Jhoot ke kAlAkAnd.. Tu bAdA hi sweet hAi re..

************ ***

Arz kyA hAi: BAhAAr AAne se pehle fizA AA gAyi....!!! ki bAhAAr AAne se pAhle fizA AA gAyi....!!! Aur phool khilne se pAhle?.bAkri khA gAyi..

************ ***
KyA AAp.. Colse Up kArte hAin..? KyA AAp Confidence se ChAlte hAi..! KyA AAp PenAlty BhArte hAi?! ?MOBILE? k bill se derte hAi..! To AAp SMS kyuo nAhi kArte hAi..!

************ ***

Tum HAste RAho....!!! O HAste RAho....!!! O HAste RAho....!!! O HAste RAho....!!! MuskArAte RAho....!!! SAdA KhilkhilAte RAho....!!! Khush RAho....!!! MerA KyA HAin....!!! Log TumhiAn hi! PAAgAl KAhenge! HA HA HA!

************ ***

BAzu 0 me dAm rAkhtA hun....!!! Dil me gAm rAkhtA hun....!!! AApki dosti k bAAd logo se wAstA kAm rAkhtA hun....!!! PAtA thA mujhe SMS AAyegA. Isliye disprin sAth rAkhtA hun!

************ ***

ZindAgi jAise ek sAzA si ho gAyi hAi....!!! gAmm ke sAAgAr me is kAdAr kho gAyi hAi....!!! tum kAr do ek SMS yeh guzArish hAi meri....!!! tumAri SMS ki AdAt si ho gAyi hAi.

************ ***

Jis mehfil mein khAre hojAi....!!! wAhA Hrithik bhi jhuktA hAi....!!! KAho
NA PyAAr HAi....!!! KyA mooh dukhtA hAi ? –

************ ***

Tumko dekhA to yeh khyAAl AAyA -Ki PAAglo ke stock mein NAyA MAAl AAyA –

************ ***
KAun sA ghAm hAi jo yeh hAAl bAnA rAkhA hAi....!!! nA to mAkeup hAi....!!! nA bAAlon ko sAjAA rAkhA hAi....!!! Aur khAmA-khA cherti rehti hAi yeh rukhsAAron ko....!!! Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sAr pe chArA rAkhA hAi –

************ ***

Jis din se judA vo humse hue....!!! is dil ne dhArknA chor diyA -hAi chAAnd kA mooh bhi utrA utrA....!!! tAAro ne chAmknA chor diyA –

************ ***

Kon kehtA hAi dost ki tumse humAri judAAi hogi....!!! yeh AfwAAh zAroor kissi dushmAn ne urAAyi hogi....!!! shAAn se rAhenge tumAhre dil mein hum ne itne dino mein kuch to jAgAh bAnAyi
hogi-

************ ***

Vo likhte hAin humArA nAAm mitti mein -Aur mitA dete hAin....!!! Unke liye ye khel hogA -mAgAr hume to vo mitti mein milA dete hAin?-

************ ***

AAp kyA jAAno hum kitnA yAAd kArte hAin....!!! mAAno yA nA mAAno hAr pAl fAriyAAd kArte hAin....!!! Roz khAt likhte hAin CARTOON NETWORK ko....!!! Aur AApko plAy kArne ki mAAng kArte hAin?. wAAAAAhhhhhhhhh. ..

************ ***

yAAd mein humne kAlAm uthAAyi....!!! liyA pAper Aur tAsveer AApki bAnAyi....!!! sochA thA ki usko dil se lAgA kAr rAkhenge....!!! mAgAr vo to bAcho ko drAAne ke kAAm AAyi?

************ ***

BAri AsAAni se dil lAgAye jAAte hAin....!!! pAr bAdi mushkil se wAAde nibhAye jAAte hAin....!!! le jAAti hAi mohAbbAt un rAAho pAr....!!! jAhA diye nAhi dil jAlAye jAAte hAin

************ ***

AAp jAise log hume kuch khAs lAgte hAi. mAnn me hAr wAqt
hum ek AAs rAkte hAi....!!! jAAne kAb AA jAye sms AApkA....!!! is liye cell ko dil ke pAss rAkte hAi.. trinnnn trinnnnn trinnnnn trinnnnnn…

************ ***

MuskurA do zArA khudA ke vAste....!!! sAmA-e-mAhefil mAi roshni kAm hAi....!!! tum hAmAre nAhi to kyA ghum hAi....!!! hum tumhAre to hAiN ye kyA kAm hAi?

************ ***

AAp Aik brilliAnt....!!! beAutiful....!!! genius....!!! smArt....!!! nice....!!! gud looking....!!! intelligent....!!! respectful....!!! kind....!!! ideAl lArkAy/lArki kA sms pAr rAhe ho.

************ ***

MAjnu Ko LAilA KA Sms NAhi AiyA..MAjnu Ne 3 Din Se KhAnA NAhi KhAyA..MAjnu MArne WAlA ThA LAilA Ke PyAr MAi..Aur LAilA Bethi Thi SmS Free Hone Ke IntezAr MAi..

************ ***

5 greAt people: 1.QuAid....!!! woh to Ab rAhe nAhi 2.WAsim AkrAm....!!! woh kisi kAAm kA nAhi....!!! 3.AishwAryA RAi....!!! Apni pohAnch sAy bAhir. BAqi rAhe AAp Aur hum So keep in Touch… rAhoge nAA ?

************ ***

HAr kArz dosti kA AdA kAun kAregA? Hum nA rAhe to dosti kAun kAregA? E khudA mere doston ko sAlAmAt rAkhnA....!!! WArnA meri shAAdi mein dAnce kAun kAregA?

************ ***

Tere DIL mein rAhenge SMS bAnkAr....!!!DhAdkAno mein bAjenge RINGTONE bAnkAr....!!!KAbhi Apne DIL se judA mut SAmAjAnA....!!!Hum tere sAAth chAlenge NETWORK bAnkAr!

************ ***

Hum duA kArte hAin KhudA se....!!! ki wo AAp jAisA dost Aur nA bAnAye....!!! Ek CArtoon jAisi cheez hAi humAre pAAs....!!! kAhin wo bhi common nA ho jAye!

************ ***

ZindAgi behAAl hAi....!!! Sur hAi nA tAAl hAi....!!! Msg box bhi kAngAl hAi....!!! kyA AApki sms fActory me hArtAl hAi....!!! YAAr kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindAgi kA sAwAAl hAi.

************ ***

UnkA AshiyAnA dil mein bAsA rAkhA hAi....!!! Unki yAdon ko seene se lAgA rAkhA hAi....!!! PAtA nAhi yAAd AAte hAin wohi kyun....!!! VAise dost to hAmne Auron ko bhi bAnA rAkhA hAi.

************ ***

Dil mein umeedo ki shAmmA jAlA rAkhi hAi....!!! Humne Apni AlAg duniyA bAsA rAkhi hAi....!!! Is umeed ke sAAth ki AyegA SMS AApkA....!!! Humne mobile pAr nAzrein jAmA rAkhi hein.

************ ***

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
SAntA: Itne kAm mArks? Do thAppAd mArne chAhiye.

PAppu: HAAn pApA....!!! chAlo mAine us sAAle mAster kA ghAr bhi dekh rAkhA hAi.

BAntA: Oye....!!! tu to Doctor ke pAAs jAAne wAAlA thA....!!! kyA huA?

SAntA: YAAr kAl jAAongA....!!! AAj thodi tAbiyAt khArAb hAi.

BAntA: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kyA hotA hAi?

SAntA: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nAhin pAtA....!!! JAb Auto mein koi gAnji lAdki jA rAhi ho to use kehte hAin AUTO-ME-TAKLI

SAntA: AgAr tumhe kuch ho gAyA to mein PAgAl ho jAAungA.

Jeeto: Doosri shAAdi to nAhin kArogey?

SAntA: PAgAl kA kyA hAi....!!! kuch bhi kAr sAktA hAi

NApoleon: There is no such word As ‘Impossible’ in my dictionAry.

SAntA: To dictionAry dekh kAr khAridni thi …!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is thAt?

SAntA: Tipu’s skeleton.

Tourist: Whose thAt smAller skeleton next to it?

SAntA: ThAt wAs Tipu’s skeleton when he wAs child

SAdhu: BAchchA teri biwi ko chuddAil chipAk gAyee hAi. UpAAye kArvAAo.

BAntA: UpAyAye? BAbA....!!! AgAr do behenein gAle mil rAhi hAin to is mein hArz hi kyA hAi ?

BAntA: YAAr teri wife ki mAut kA bArA Afsos huA....!!! vAise huA kyA thA?

SAnt: Goli lAgi thi mAthe mAin.

BAntA: WAheguru ji kA shukAr kAr ke AAnkh bAch gAyi.

CAptAin of MilitAry: NAujAwAnon AAge bAdo

SAntA AAge nAhin bAdA

CAptAin: Tum AAge kyun nAhin bAde?

SAntA: Apne kAhA 9 jAwAnon AAge bAdo....!!! mein 10ve number pe thA

SAntA wAs getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got

irritAted… drAnk poison & sAid....!!!

Ab kAAto sAAlon....!!! sAb mAroge!

Museum AdministrAtor: ThAt’s A 500-yeAr-old stAtue u’ve broken.

BAntA: ThAnks God! I thought it wAs A new one.

BAntA: Yeh chAAku kyon ubAAl rAhe ho?

SAntA: Suicide kArne ke liye

BAntA: To phir ubAlne kui kyA zAroorAt hAi?

SAntA: KAhin infection nA ho jAAye

SAntA: RAAt film mAin ek chudAil kAbhi mere AAge....!!! khAbhi mere peechhe ghoom rAhi thi…

Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?

SAntA: Apni shAAdi ki movie thi !

SAntA: Doc sAAb....!!! mein ChAshmA lAgA ke pAd to sAkoongA?

Doc: HAAn....!!! bilkul.

SAntA: To phir theek hAi doc sAAb vArnA AnpAd AAdmi ki zindAgi bhi koi zindAgi hAi.
SAntA wAs busy in removing A wheel from Auto....!!! BAntA Asks: Y r u removing A

wheel from ur Auto?

SAntA: CAn’t u reAd ‘PArking for two wheelers only


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
PyAr Ki GAdi me kAbhi petrol nAhi hotA....!!!
pyAr k sAfArme kAbhi pAnchAr nAhi hotA.
PyAr jivAn ki Aisi gAdi hAi jisme
2 se jAyAdA pAssenger nAhi hotA
`
NAmAskAr!
Apki Dosti ki BAttery Low Ho RAhi HAi....!!!
KripyA AAp 3 SMS KARKE TURANT RECHARGE KARE!
FROM:
DSNL
(Dosti SAnchAr NigAm Ltd.)
`
Arz kiyA hAi....!!!
Tu gAyA uski gAli mAin....!!!
Tu gAyA uski gAli mAin....!!!
BolA dil se dil lAgA Lo....!!!
JAb dekhA uski mummy ko to bolA....!!!
“Jute chAppAl” thik kArvA Lo.
`
AJ kAl lAdkiyo ke kApde
yAhA se less wAhA se less....!!!
kAbhi sleevless to kAbhi bAckless
or koi lAdkA ghur k dekhe to-
“Oh How MAnnerless”
=====================
PAppu ek pArty mein gAyA Aur wAhA usne 8 butter nAAn khA liye.
Kuch der bAAd toilet mein pet pAkAd ke ro rAhA thA bhAgwAn se request kAr rAhA thA ki....!!! Hey bhAgwAn yA toh jAAn nikAl de yA nAAn nikAl de!”
`
Ek lArkA Apni girlfriend se milne gAyA....!!! kuch bAAt ke bAAd uski
girlfirend chAye(teA) bAnAne ke liye kitchen chAli gAyi.
Girlfriend kA mobile sofAy pe dekh kAr lArky ne sochA ke
chAlo dekhte hAi merA number iss ne kis nAAm se sAve kyA hAi?

DeAr....!!! sweetu yA jAAnu.
JAb usne misscAll di toh screen pe likh rAhA thA “MurghA No.5? CAlling”.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
`
1 khwAb ....!!!1 pyAr ....!!!1 hAqiqAt ho tum .
Dosti me pAdnewAli hAr zAroorAt ho tum.
Jisko roj itne SMS kArnepAde....!!!woh musibAt ho tum.
`
Ab Aur MAnzil PAne Ki HAsrAt NAhi
Kisi Ki YAAd Me MAr JAne Ki FitrAt NAhi
AAp Jese Dost JAbse Mile
Kisi Aur Ko Dost BAnAne Ki JArurAt NAhi
`
Kuch dost pAlbhAr me bhulA diye jAte hAi
kuch dost pAl-pAl yAd AAte hAi
hum Apse yAhi puchnA chAhte hAi
k dosto ki is kAtAAr me hum kAhA AAte hAi
`
KHUSHI se dil ko AAbAd kArnA
GAM ko dil se AAzAd kArnA
BAs itni gujAArish hAi AApse ki
ho sAke to din mein ek bAAr yAAd jAroor kArnA
`
ZindAgi zAkhmo se bhAri hAi....!!!
wAqt ko mArhAm bAnAnA seekh lo.
HArnA toh hAi hi mAut ke hAtho ek din....!!!
FilhAAl zindAgi ko jeenA seekh lo
`
HAr yAdo me usi ki yAd rehti hAi.
Meri Ankho ko usi ki tAlAsh rhti hAi.
kuch tum b duA kro yAro.
SunA hAi dosto ki duA me fArishto ki fAriyAd hoti hAi…
`
Khusiyo kA ek sAnsAAr leke Ayenge....!!!
PAtjhAr mein bhi bhAr leke Ayenge....!!!
JAb bhi pukArenge AAp pyAAr se....!!!
Zindgi se sAAnsen udhAr leke Ayenge…
`
ThodA sochA hAi humne …
thodA jAAnA hAi humne…
Mushkil se mAgAr pehchAnA hAi humne…
Koi AAp jAisA nA thA nA hogA…
isliye dost AApko mAnA hAi humne
`
LAmhe ye SuhAne sAAth ho nA ho....!!!
KAl me AAj jAisi koi bAAt ho nA ho....!!!
AApki dosti hAmeshA is DIL me rAhegi....!!!
ChAhe kAbhi mulAkAt ho nA ho.
`
Itni dosti nAA kAro ki bigAd jAye hum.
thodA dAntA bhi kAro ki sudhAr jAye hum.
ho jAye gAr humse koi khAtA to ho jAnA khAfA....!!!
mAgAr itnA bhi nAhi k mAr hi jAye hum.
`
ZAMANE KI HAR JANNAT TUMHARI HOGI
YE AASMAAN YE ZAMI TUMHARI HOGI
MUJHSE KEH BHI NA PAOGE USKE PEHLE
MERE HISSE KI HAR KHUSHI TUMHARI HOGI
`
bikhri Ankhon se moti hum piro nA sAke teri yAAd me sAri rAAt so nA sAke
beh nA jAye Ansuon me tAsvir ye soch kAr
hum ro nA sAke
`
Gum ki AAhAt bhi nA AAye tere dAr pAr....!!!
pyAr kA sAmunder kA tu bhi ek kinArA ho....!!!
kAbhi bhool se jo tApke teri AAnkh se moti....!!!
thAme wohi jo tujhe sAb se pyArA ho !!!
`
Kisi mor pe hAm Ap ko khoney nAhi denge..
JudA honA chAho to honey nAhi denge…
ChAndni rAton mAn Aye gi meri yAd…
Meri yAd ke wo pAl Ap ko soney nAhi denge
`
BhulAnA tumhe nA AsAAn hogA jo bhule tumhe wo nAdAn hogA AAp to bAste ho ruh me hAmAri....!!! bus AAp hAme nA bhulAnA ye AApkA ehsAAn hogA.
`
AAj door se hi koi sAlAAm kAr gAyA....!!!
Apni yAdon kA gulAAm kAr gAyA ....!!!
Apni zingAgi girvi rAkhi thi jiske pAAs....!!!
AAj wohi hume nilAAm kAr gAye……..
`
KhudA ke GhAr se Kuch GAdhe fArAr hogAye
kuch to pAkde gAye
kuch hAmAre yAAr hogAye…


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
whAt is reAl love?
so i tell you A sweet story…..
ek spArrow ko ek white gulAAb se pyAr ho gAyA....!!!
usne gulAAb ko propose kiyA....!!!
GulAAb ne jAvAb diyA ki jis din mAin lAAl ho jAungA us din mAin tumse pyArkArungA....!!!
jAvAb sun ke spArrow gulAAb ke AAs- pAss kAnto pe lotne lAgi....!!!
or uske khoon se gulAAb lAAl ho gAyA....!!!
ye dekh gulAAb ne bhi usse kAhA ki vo bhi usse pyAAr kArtA hAi....!!!
pAr tAb tAk spArrow mAr chuki thi ....!!!
thAt’s true love story..

HAppy VAlentines DAy


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
PAreshAAn thi Chintu ki wife
Non-hAppening thi jo uski life
Chintu ko nA miltA thA AArAm
Office mAin kArtA kAAm hi kAAm
`
Chintu ke boss bhi the bAde cool
Promotion ko hAr bAAr jAte the bhul
PAr bhulte nAhi the wo deAdline
KAAm to kArwAte the roz till nine
`
Chintu bhi bAnnA chAtA thA best
Isliye to wo nAhi kArtA thA rest
Din rAAt kArtA wo boss ki gulAmi
Onsite ke ummid mAin detA sAlAmi
`
Din guzre Aur guzre fir sAAl
BurA hotA gAyA Chintu kA hAAl
Chintu ko Ab kuch yAAd nA rehtA thA
GAlti se Biwi ko Behenji kehtA thA
`
AAkhir ek din Chintu ko sAmjh AAyA
Aur chod di usne Onsite ki moh mAyA
Boss se bolA....!!! “Tum kyon sAtAte ho ?”
“Onsite ke lAddu se buddu bAnAte ho”
`
“Promotion do wArnA chAlA jAungA”
“Onsite dene pAr bhi wApis nA AungA”
Boss hAAns ke bolA “NAhi koi bAAt”
“Abhi Aur bhi Chintus hAi mere pAAs”
`
“Yeh duniyA Chintuon se bhAri hAi”
“SAbko bAs AAge bAdhne ki pAdi hAi”
“Tum nA kAroge to kisi Aur se kArungA”
“TumhAri tArAh Ek Aur Chintu bAnAungA”
`
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

DeAr subscribers....!!!
You Are kindly informed thAt Mr.RAhul’s mobile will be switched-off on 14.2.2010
(VAlentines DAy) to Avoid unwAnted proposAls. Sorry :


Q. WhAt do you cAll A fAt lAdy wAiting for A bus?
A. Moti-vAting!!!

Q. WhAt is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A. Ek bigAdti hAi to bAndh ho jAti hAi… Doosri bigAdti hAi to ‘SHUROO’ ho jAti hAi

Q. Doctor: App kA Aur AApki biwi kA blood group ek hi hAi.
A .MAn: HogA....!!! zArur hogA; 25 sAAl se merA khoon jo pee rAhi hAi.

Q. WhAt’s the similArity between MOBILE And MARRIAGE?
A. In both cAses you feel ‘Aur thodA ruk jAtA to AcchA model miltA’

Q. Ek Admi ne sAdhu se kAhA....!!! meri biwi bAhut pAreshAn kArti hAi....!!! koi upAAy bAtAiye.
A. SAdhu bolA ....!!! sAAle....!!! UpAAy hotA to mAin sAdhu kyoon bAntA?


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

PAhAlA : Mere dAdAji ki itAni bAdi lAdAmAni thi ki
sAri duniyA ke jAAnvAr usi me chArA khA lete the
DusrA : Bus ? mere dAdAji ke pAss to itnA bAdA
bAmbu thA ki wAh AAsmAAn ko be chu letA thA.
PAhAlA : Kyun fenkAtA hAi....!!!tere dAdAji use rAkhte kAhAn the?
DusrA : Tere dAdAji ki lAdAmAni me.
`
Tinu : KAuwA telephone pAr bAith kAr
kAnw kAnw kyon kAr rAhA hAi?
Chinu : LAgtA hAi wAh ApAni AAwAj
dur tAk pAhunchAnA chAhtA hAi.
`
GrAhAk : Chotu kyA khAnA pAkAne me do gAnte lAgAte hAi?
Chotu : Ji nAhi....!!!khAnA to teen din pAhle he bAn gAyA thA....!!!
Ab to bus use gArAm kiyA jA rAhA hAi.
`
KAvi hrAdAy doctor (ApAne mArij se) :
Kyon bhAi rAAt ko nindrA devi AAi?
MArij (doctor se) : PAtA nAhi doctor sAhAb....!!!
mAi to kAAfi pAhAle so gAyA thA.
Ho sAktA hAi usAke bAAd AAi ho.
`
SAurAbh: KAbhi kAbhi mujhe ApAne chAro or
AndherA he AndherA nAjAr AAtA hAi.
GAurAv : AisA khAstAur se kAb hotA hAi?
SAurAbh : JAb hAmAre ghAr ki light chAli jAAti hAi.
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
Quote Of The DAy!
Do Not WAit To Strike Till
The Iron Is Hot;
But MAke It Hot
By Striking…!
`
When your commitment is deeper
thAn the seA And your Ambition is tAller
thAn the sky....!!! then ur future
will be brighter thAn the Sun!
`
bush: tujhe swiming AAti hAi.
lAAlu: no.
bush: tere se to kuttA AchhA hAi
jo swiming kAr letA hAi.
lAAlu: tujhe AAti hAi.
bush: hAAn.
lAAlu: fir tere Aur kutte me fArAk kyA hAi.
`
WAt is d height of confusion?
.
.
Two EArth Worms plAying
“HIDE SEEK”
in A plAte full of NOODLES ! ! !
`
Zindgi sApno ki nAhi hAqiqAt ki jiyA kAro....!!!
qki sApno mAin sirf phool khilA kArte h.
wo phool tumhe kyA zindAgi denge
jo khud Do din jiyA kArte h.
`
Life hAs no rewinds n forwArds.
It unfolds itself At its own pAce.
So never miss A chAnce to live todAy
to mAke A beAutiful story for tomorrow.
`
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
`
Dil ko kisi AhAt ki As rehti he....!!!
NigAho ko kisi surAt ki pyAs rhti he.
Tere binA zindgi me kAmi to nhi....!!!
Phir bi tere binA zindgi udhAs rehti he.
`
SAngeet ke sAAth AAwAz..
Phool ke sAAth khusbu..
Jism ke sAAth rooh..
Khusi ke sAAth ghAm..
AApko tAng kArne ko hum..
HAr lAmhA hAr dAm.. :)
`
ZindAgi ek hAsin khwAb he....!!!
HAr khwAb ko MAnzil nAhi milti....!!!
Tut kAr bikhAr jAte he wo Rishte....!!!
Jinhe koi ZAnzir nAhi milti.
`
Luck is not in Ur hAnds
But work is in Ur hAnds.
Ur work cAn mAke luck
But Luck cAn’t mAke Ur work.
So AlwAys trust Yourself thAn Ur luck.
`
Mummy: Jo merA sAbse jyAdA kehnA mAnegA....!!!
usse hi me yeh sAAri toffies dungi.
Kid: TAb to yeh sAAri toffee
pApA ko hi milengi.
`
HAr nAmi me kuch kAmi to rAhegi
Ankhen thodi shAbnAmito rAhengi.
ZindAgi ko AAp kitnA bhi sAwAriye....!!!
Bin hAmArekoi nA koi kAmi to rAhegi.
`
Koi NA Mile To KismAt Se GilA Nhi Krte....!!!
Aksr Log Mil Kr Bi MilA Nhi Krte.
Hr ShAkh Pr BAhAr AAti He ZArur....!!!
Pr Hr ShAAkh Pr Phool KhilA Nhi Krte.
`
AAnkhon ko AApke deedAr ki AArzu he....!!!
Dil ko AApke pyAAr ki AArzu he.
Kisi mod pe bhul nA jAnA hAme ....!!!
ZindAgi me hAme AApke sAAth ki AArzu he.
`
TAnhA Chhod Kr Hmko HoslA b Dete Ho....!!!
SAns Chheen Kr Jine Ki DuA b Dete Ho.
Ek TArf JudAi KA GAm b JAri HAi....!!!
Aur MuskrAne KA MAshwrA b Dete Ho!
`
Behind ur lAughter there r sorrows..
Behind ur smile there r teArs..
Behind ur quietness there is A storm..
And behind u..
Is your Bum..!
`
SAntA wAs shopping in store.
SAlesmAn: Sir....!!! would u like
to use A pocket cAlculAtor?
SAntA: No thAnx.
I know how mAny pockets I hAve!!
`
Likhte hAi hum kisi Aur k liye....!!!
Mere dArd ko tum ApnA mAt sAmjhnA.
HAqiqAt me hum unhe chAhte hAi bepAnAh....!!!
Ise tum merA sApnA mAt sAmjhnA.
`
KAbhi sApne chur-chur ho jAte hAi....!!!
hAlAAt se DOST bhi dur-2 ho jAte hAi.
pAr Apki yAdein itne stAte hAi
ki SMS kArne pAr mjbur ho jAte hAi.
`
Authors Unkown
Presented by “PANKAJ”
`
PleAse join my ShAyAriworld And Hum-Our- Tum Group Blogs:
For Non Stop EntertAinment dAily with Thoughts....!!!
InfotAinment....!!!Love And Friendship Quotes And
Much More join And Find Yourself
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

#######################
NAukrAni: “MAlkin! Chote BAbA Ne CockroAch KhA LiA hAi.”
MAlkin: “Oh God!CAll Doctor FAst”
NAukrAni: “AAp Tension NA Lo .. MAine Chote BAbA Ko BAYGON PilA diA
hAi.”
#######################
PAppu Ne JAlte Hue MAkAn Se 6 Logo Ko Apni JAAn Pe KhelkAr BAhAr
NikAlA
Fir Bhi Usko JAil Ho GAyi
Qun…
Qun..Ki Vo SAb FirebrigAde WAle The…
#######################
SAntA-Oye!whAt R U doing?
BAntA-Recording this bAby’s voice.
SAntA-Why?
BAntA- When he grows up....!!! I shAll Ask him whAt he meAnt by this …


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
Husbnd: KyA tumne mujhe KUTTA kAhA?
No Answer
Husbnd AgAin Asks....!!! No Answer
Then AgAin he Asks....!!!
Wife: NAhi kAhA. Plz AB bhokA nA bAndh kAro

Girl:- I LOVE U.
Boy:- Me Too.
Girl:- How Much?
Boy:- As much As U do.
Girl:- “YOU CHEATER!”
I thought u reAlly LOVE me.

Sir: Wo Teen Words BAtAo Jo Subse JyAdA Bole JAte HAin ?
STUDENT: Mujhe NAhi PAtA….
Sir: ShAAbAsh BetA....!!! BAith JAo..


CIRCUIT: Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe bAAp kA nAAm kyA likh rAhA hAi?
SHORT CIRCUIT: Apun bAAp kA nAAm roshAn kAr rehlA hAi.

MUNNA BHAI: MAmu....!!! Apun bAchpAn mein dus mAley ke building se gir gAyA thA.
MAMU: AArey....!!! phir kyA huA. BAch gAyA ki tApAk gAyA?
MUNNA BHAI: YAAd nehin hAi yAAr. BAhut purAne bAAt hAi.

CIRCUIT: Aye MAmu....!!! tereko pApAd Aur jhApAd mein phArAk pAtA hAi kyA?
MAMU: Nehin.
CIRCUIT: To khA ke dekh le....!!! pAtA chAl jAyegA.

MUNNA BHAI: Circuit....!!! bole toh yeh Ford kyA hAi?
CIRCUIT: BhAi....!!! gAAdi hAi.
MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir....!!! yeh Oxford kyA hAi?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh....!!! simple hAi bhAi....!!!
Ox mAne BAel....!!! Ford mAne gAAdi. Oxford bole toh BAelgAAdi.

PROFESSOR: AkAl bAri ki bhAins?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlAy dAte of birth bAtA mAmu.
MAMU: ChAnd toh rAAt ko nikAltA hAi....!!! AAj din mein kAise nikAl AyA?
GIRL:Ullu to rAAt ko boltA hAi....!!! AAj din mein kAise bol pArA?


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
Sometimes....!!! my mind Asks. Why I miss you? Why I cAre for you? Why I remember you? Why I text you? Then my heArt Answered....!!! Mongoloids need more cAre! Hehehe. Now....!!! you’re smiling! =)

no visits…

no cAlls..

no sms’s…

no letters…

no missed cAlls..

I’m worried…

kyA huA zoo wAAlon ne dobArA pAkAd liyA kyA?

AApke hAAth me
mobile hAi..

Chehere pe khubh c
smile hAi…

SMS ki AChchi khAsi
File hAi…

Phir bhi
SMS nAhi kArte…

yAAr....!!! yeh kAun sA
stupid style hAi??

AgAr Feroz KhAn Don hotA to diAlouge kyA hotA?
Mere sAr pAr bAAl AAne kA intezAAr to 11 shehron ke nAAyi kAr rAhe hAin....!!! pAr mere sAr pAr bAAl AAnA mushkil hi nAhi nAmumkin hAi…

4 roses....!!! just for you!
1st for Friendship.
2nd for WeAlth.
3rd for HAppiness.

And the lAst one..

KAAn ke upAr lAgA lenA....!!! mAst lAgegA.

Who WAnts 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£

Let’s plAy?
Q.Nobody likes you becAuse you Are A:

A.Cunt
B.WAnker
C.Rsole
D.TwAt

50/50

Phone A friend?

Ring me! I will tell you!

YAAr AAj kA din bAdA fuddu hAi….

Fuddu se yAAd AAyA

KAisA hAi tu..!!

Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I cAn’t Believe u Did ThAt!
AgAin?
For God SAke! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!

Your network tAriff hAs chAnged! CAll chArges Are now cAlculAted According to brAin size. The smAller the cheAper! CongrAts You cAn mAke free cAlls!

Jis wAqt khudA ne tumhe bAnAyA hogA....!!! ek sAroor sA uske dil pe chAyA hogA… pehle sochA hogA tujhe jAnnAt mein rAkh lun.. phir usse zoo kA khAyAl AAyA hogA…

Arz kiyA hAi… tuhAAr chehrAA moti sAmAAn… tuhAAr chehrAA moti sAmAAn… moti hAmAAr kutte kA nAAm.

KAbhi hAuslA bhi AAzmAnA chAhiye....!!! bure wAqt me muskurAnA chAhiye… JAb 7ve din mein khujli ho to 8ve din nAhAA lenA chAhiye..

TumsA koi zAmin pAr huA to rAb se shikAyAt hogi....!!!
tumsA koi zAmin pAr huA to rAb se shikAyAt hogi....!!!
Ek to jhel liyA dusrA AAyA to kAyAmAt hogi.

Tu chAnd mAnge me chAnd dedu....!!! tu rAAt mAnge me rAAt dedu....!!! tu dil mAnge me dil dedu....!!! tu jAAn mAnge… BAs yAAr Bhik mAngne ki bhi ek limit hoti hAi..

I sAw U on ROAD todAy. U were lukin SO fine....!!! Ur fAce SO divine....!!! Ur wAlk SO perfect. My HEART stArted singing A Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!

TAste dis SMS
Did u feel dA tAste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well…..
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!

HAve u seen A monkey wrApped in plAstic?
No???
Quickly see your driving license.

Two devils cAme in 2 my dreAms. They sAid-We wAnt 2 disturb some good person. I suggest them ur nAme. They sAid -We cAnnot disturb our boss.

Abe KhAjur....!!! Zoo se bhAAge hue LAngur....!!! Abe SAde hue Kele ke Chhilke....!!!
Chuse hue AAm....!!! Circus k Retired BAnder....!!!
(AisA kisi ko nA kehnA Feel hotA hAi).

You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beAutiful
You=AmAzing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fAntAstic
You=fAbulous
Me=liAr

Forest king VirAppAn died lAst week. In his memory let us All switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forwArd this to All locAl criminAls....!!! As I did.

U r UltimAte
U r Lovely
U r LikAble
U r Unique
In short ……
U r ULLU !!!

Lost in A zoo I sAw mAny AnimAls..
Mouse
BIRD
Monkey
hAilA…! U 2

Where r u? U r u not replying? I m worried coz todAys pAper I reAd thAt due 2 thunder A monkey hAs been severely injured. So if u r sAfe....!!! SMS me immediAtely.

One dAy A monkey looked into mirror & sAid....!!! “Oh my ugly fAce....!!! fAt nose” And killed himself. Promise me u will not look into mirror....!!! coz I dont wAnnA loose you!

Flowers+butterfly = A beAutiful scene.
StArs+moon = A romAntic night.
RAin+monsoon = A lovely weAther.
U+ur smile = BhAAgo Bhoot AAyA.

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

Log AAp se JeAlous q hotey hein?

R u intelligent?
Oh No

R u BeAutiful?
NA nA

R ur eyes beAutiful?
Oh NAi Oey

MAi BAtAon?
Bcoz

I’m Your Friend….

RAjkrishnA VermA 


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

Love Aur ArrAnge MArriAge MAin KyA FArAq HAi?
Love MArriAge MAin AAp Apni Girlfriend
Se ShAdi KArtAy HAin.Aur
ArrAnge MArriAge MAin
Kisi Aur Ki Girlfriend Se. :-)….


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
SAntA: I tried ur number so mAny times....!!! it AlwAys sAid ‘Switched Off’!”

BAntA: Nooo....!!! it’s my HELLO TUNE!

**********

DAku MAngAl Singh BAntA ke ghAr mein ghusA Aur bolA: SonA kAhAn hAi....!!! jAldi bAtAAo

BAntA: PurA ghAr khAli hAi mAlko....!!! jithe mArzi so jAo!

**********

SAntA to Jeeto: KAisi sAbzi bAnAi hAi....!!! bilkul GobAr jAisA swAd hAi.

Jeeto....!!! mAAthA peet te hue: Hey bhAgwAn! NA jAne inhone kyA-kyA khA ke dekhA huA hAi.

**********

A crow shits on A BAntA. Preeto gives tissue pAper to him.

BAntA: Koi phAydA nAhin....!!! kAuwA toh ud gAyA!

**********

BAntA: JAb mAin pAidA huA thA to militAry wAlon ne 21 topein chAlAyeen thi.

SAntA: KAmAAl hAi ! SAb kA nishAnA chook gAyA ?

**********

SAntA meets his old friend.

SAntA: A & B....!!! A & B....!!! A & B....!!! A & B....!!! A & B.

Friend: Oye....!!! iskA mAtlAb?

SAntA: Kuch nAhin yAAr....!!! I meAn long time no C.

**********

SAntA: Drinking n driving dono nAlo nAAl nAi ho sAkde.

BAntA: Y?

SAntA: Je speed breAker AA gAyA tAA peg dul jAu.

**********

Phone ki ring bAji. SAntA: Phone mere liye ho to kehnA mein ghAr pe nAhin hoon.

Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghAr pe hAin.

SAntA: MAine mAnA kiyA thAt…

Jeeto: Phone mere liye thA!

**********

SAntA to A doc: Apne nurse bAhut Achchi rAkhi hAi....!!! uskA hAAth lAgtey hi mein theek ho gAyA.

Doc: JAAntA hoon....!!! thAppAd ki AwAAz mujhe bhi sunAi di thi.

**********

SAntA wAs writing the pAssive voice of ‘I mAde A mistAke.’

He wrote: I wAs mAde by A mistAke.

**********

SAntA: Oh yAAr mAin bAdi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pAppi kA Ek rupeyA leti hAi.

BAntA: Oh yAAr tu lucky hAi....!!! Auron se to woh 5 rupye leti hAi.

**********

SAntA to BAntA: MAin ApnA purse ghAr bhool AAyA....!!! mAinu 1000 Rs chAhide si.

BAntA: Dost hi dost de kAm AundA hAi....!!! le 10 Rs....!!! rikshA kAr te purse le AA.

**********

BAntA: Wo lAdki deAf lAgti hAi. MAin kuch kehtA hoon....!!! woh kuch Aur hi bolti hAi.

SAntA: KAise?

BAntA: MAine kAhA I Luv U....!!! to woh boli ‘MAine kAl hi NAye SAndAl khAride hAin’


BAntA to Doctor : Doctor SAhAb! Mein ApnA dimAg dAAn kArnA chAhtA hu.
Doctor : HogA to hum le lenge .

Son to DAd : PApA....!!! Mein itnA bAdA kAb houngA ki mein mummy se binA puche
bAhAr jA sAku?
PApA : BetA Abhi itnA bAdA to mein bhi nAhi huA!!!

AutowAlA to SAntA : SAhAb....!!! 100 rupAye ho gAye.
SAntA ne 50 rupAye AutowAle ko de diye.
AutowAlA : SAhAb ye to gundAgArdi hAi....!!! meter ki hisAb se 100 rupAye hue hAi.

SAntA : Tu bhi to bAithkAr AAyA hAi....!!! terA kirAyA bhi kyA mujhe denA
pAregA!!!

Ek din SAntA ne Apni premikA ko himmAt jutAkAr keh dAlA – I love you.
PremikA(Gusse se) : JArA pyAr se nAhi keh sAkte?
SAntA : I love you Didi!!!!

Girl : Tum lAdke kisi bhi lAdki me sAbse pehle kyA dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend kArtA hAi ki lAdki AA rAhi hAi yA jA rAhi hAi!!

Dur gAon me jAb mAA bAAp sote nAhi the....!!!
to bAchA kehtA hAi....!!! so jA bApu....!!!
so jA....!!! wArnA ek Aur ho jAyegA!!!

Girl-to-Boy – AAye bewAfe tune sAb kuch sAAf kAr diyA....!!!
merA dil jAlA kAr rAkh kAr diyA
Boy-to-Girl – Aye lAdki....!!! teri kurbAni bekAr nAhi jAyegi....!!!
bhej de rAkh mujhe....!!! bArtAn mAnjne ke kAAm AAyegi.

PAti Aur pAtni ghumne gAye. RAAste me ek gAdhe ko ghAAs kAtA
dekh pAtni ne pAti se kAhA – Oo G tumhArA rishtedAAr ghAAs
khA rAhA hAi....!!! nAmAste kAro.
PAti – NAmAste SAsur Ji

SAntA ne BAntA se kAhA....!!!”SAbse bAdA chAllenge kyA hAi?”
BAntA replied – Answer sheet ko khAAli chod do Aur lAst me likh denA....!!!
pAAs kArke dikhA.

Frog: TumhAre pAAs dimAAg nAhin hAi.
BholA: HAi.
Frog: NAhin hAi.
BholA: HAi.
Frog: NAhin hAi And jumps into the well.
BholA: Isme suicide kArne wAAli kyA bAAt thi.?

TeAcher : SAntA bAtAo `M’ for kyA hotA hAi?
SAntA : Sir....!!! Mother!
TeAcher : Right! AAb bAtAo W for kyA hotA hAi?
SAntA kuch sochne lAgtA hAi
TeAcher : SAntA kyA soch rAhe ho?
SAntA : Sir....!!! mein yeh soch rAhA thA ki MAA ulti kAise ho gAyi?

TeAcher : SAntA ye bAtAo tense kitne tArAh ke hote hAi?
SAntA : Teen mAidAm.
TeAcher : Teeno ke ek-ek exAmple bAtAo.
SAntA : MAdAm....!!! meine kAl AApki beti ko dekhA thA. AAj mein ussey pyAr kArtA
hu Aur kAl mein ussey bhAgA kAr le jAungA.

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

CIRCUIT: Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe bAAp kA nAAm kyA likh rAhA hAi?
SHORT CIRCUIT: Apun bAAp kA nAAm roshAn kAr rehlA hAi.

MUNNA BHAI: MAmu....!!! Apun bAchpAn mein dus mAley ke building se gir gAyA thA.
MAMU: AArey....!!! phir kyA huA. BAch gAyA ki tApAk gAyA?
MUNNA BHAI: YAAd nehin hAi yAAr. BAhut purAne bAAt hAi.

CIRCUIT: Aye MAmu....!!! tereko pApAd Aur jhApAd mein phArAk pAtA hAi kyA?
MAMU: Nehin.
CIRCUIT: To khA ke dekh le....!!! pAtA chAl jAyegA.

MUNNA BHAI: Circuit....!!! bole toh yeh Ford kyA hAi?
CIRCUIT: BhAi....!!! gAAdi hAi.
MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir....!!! yeh Oxford kyA hAi?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh....!!! simple hAi bhAi....!!!
Ox mAne BAel....!!! Ford mAne gAAdi. Oxford bole toh BAelgAAdi.

PROFESSOR: AkAl bAri ki bhAins?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlAy dAte of birth bAtA mAmu.

MAMU: ChAnd toh rAAt ko nikAltA hAi....!!! AAj din mein kAise nikAl AyA?
GIRL:Ullu to rAAt ko boltA hAi....!!! AAj din mein kAise bol pArA?


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
NAukri keliye sAlAA kuch bhi kAregA

1. when in college : Hum honge kAAmiyAAb....!!! Hum honge kAAmiyAAb ek din…..

2. when giving interview to Multi NAtionAl CompAny: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ….tere binAAA mAin kAise jiyunn….

3. wAiting for interview result: IntehAA ho gAi IntzAArki.. AAyinAAA kuch khAbAr mere yAArki …

4. just joined: Too cheez bAdi hAi mAst mAst…..

5. After some time: Ye kAhAAn AA gAye hum??

6. After some more time: NAA koyi umAng hAi....!!! nAA koyi tArAng hAi....!!! meri jindAgi ek kAti PAthAng hAi (booohoooo)

7. floAting the resume: kAbootAr jA jA jA… kAbootAr jA jA jA… pehele pyAr ki peheli chitthi…

8. finAlly when you don’t get A better offer Any longer: JeenA YehAAn....!!! mArnA YehAAn iske siwA jAAnA KAhAA…!!!


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
TeAcher 2 student : WhAt’s Your CAst ?
Student : Pehle to hum PAndit The....!!!
Fir RAjput Hue....!!!
Fir BAniyA ho GAye....!!!
Abhi HAi DArji....!!!
Or
AAge AMMI ki MArzi.

AgAr BAsAnti Ki MAusi ThAkur Ko RAkhi BAndhe to BAsAnti
or ThAkur KA KyA RishtA HuA ? ? ?
Socho…..
Socho…..
Kuch Bhi NAhi ApnA ApnA KAAm KAro
ThAkur Ke HAAth Hi NAhi The.

If People SAy You Are CrAzy....!!!
be pAtient....!!!
You Are monkey relAx....!!!
You Are MAd....!!!
be cool....!!!
but
if they sAy you Are SmArt ....!!!
ThAppAd lAgAnA SAAle ko !
MAzAAk ki bhi hAd hoti hAi.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

Boy & Girl in restuArAnt:
Boy-mAin lAst bAr puch rAhA hu....!!!
um mujhse shAdi kArogi?
Girl- nAhi
Boy-soch lo
Girl-keh diyA nA nAhi
Boy-wAiter bill AlAg AlAg lAnA.


SAntA: Woh lAdki kitni sundAr hAi!
BAntA: Mujhe uskA nAAm pAtA hAi.
SAntA: KyA nAAm hAi uskA?
BAntA: Woh bAnk mein kAAm kArti hAi....!!!
Uske counter ke upAr uskA nAAm likhA thA “CHAALU KHAATA”

SAntA ki shAAdi ek nurse se ho gAyi.
BAntA: Aur sAntA....!!! kAisi nibh rAhi hAi?
SAntA: Pooch mAt yAAr....!!! jAb tAk sister nA kAho....!!! bolti hi nAhi.

BAntA: Yeh chAAku kyon ubAAl rAhe ho?
SAntA: Suicide kArne ke liye
BAntA: To phir ubAlne kui kyA zAroorAt hAi?
SAntA: KAhin infection nA ho jAAye

Girl: Will u mArry me?
SAntA: No....!!! humAre yAhAn shAAdi sirf relAtives mein hi hoti hAi.
Mummy ne PApA se....!!! Didi ne JijAji se Aur BhAiyA ne BhAbhi se

BAntA ped pe chAdA to upAr bAithey bAndAr ne poochA: UpAr kyon AAyA?
BAntA: Apple khAne.
BAndAr: Yeh to AAm kA ped hAi.
BAntA: PAtA hAi....!!! Apple sAAth lAyA hoon.

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
SAntA: GhAr kA sAArA keemti sAmAAn chhupA ke rAkh do....!!!
mere dost AA rAhe hAin.
Jeeto: Kyon! AApke dost churA lengey?
SAntA: NAhin....!!! pehchAn lengey.

SAntA diAls A number. A girl receives the cAll.
SAntA: Who r u?
Girl: SeetA here.
SAntA: MAine to ChAndigArh phone kiyA thA....!!!
yeh to AyodhyA mil gAyA.

SAntA ke bAgiche mein bAhut sAre ped – pAudhe thAy....!!!
SAntA nAukAr ko bolA ped-pAudhon ko pAni dAl.
NAukAr: SAhAb bAArish ho rAhi hAi.
SAntA: Abe to ChAtri leke dAl.

BAntA: Truck dekhkAr tum kAAmpte kyon ho?
SAntA: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekAr bhAAg gAyA thA....!!!
hAr bAAr lAgtA hAi jAise usko vApAs kArne AAyA hAi.

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
Ek Din CHINTU Ne Apne Dost Ko BAtAyA- “Meri Bivi PINKI Itni DAyAlu HAi Ki WAh BArtAn Dhone WAle Ko PAni GArm KArke Deti HAi. Dono Time ChAy Aur KhAnA Bhi Deti HAi.”
“KAmAAl HAi! AAj Ki MAhilAye Itni UdAAr Ho SAkti HAi....!!! PAr TumhAre YAhA BArtAn KAun DhotAA HAi?” MitrA Ne PuchhA.
“MAi.” CHINTU Ne JAwAb DiyA.

Ek TAAnge Ki Ghodi JAb ChAlte-ChAlte Ruk JAti....!!! To KochvAAn CHINTU UtArAkAr Uske SAAmAne GAnA GAtA.
GAnA SunkAr Ghodi Phir Se ChAlne LAg JAAti Thi.
AAkhir TAng AAkAr TAAnge Me BAithi Hui SAvAri Ne CHINTU Se PuchhA- “BhAi....!!! Ye KyA KissA HAi? TumhAri Ghodi GAnA SunkAr AAge Kyo BAdhti HAi?”
CHINTU Ne BAtAyAA- “BAbu Ji....!!! VAstAv Me YAh BAArAt Ki Ghodi HAi……”

CHINTU Ne Apni PAtni PINKI Se PuchhA- “PINKI DArling Mere RishtedAro Me Tum Kise SAbse JyAdAA ChAhti Ho....!!! Is BAAt KA JAwAb Do.”
“TumhAri SAAs Ji Ko.” PAtni PINKI Ne Ek PAl SochkAr JAwAb DiyA.”

PINKI Ne Apni PAdosin Ki LAdki Se KAhA- “Akhir BAAt KyA HAi....!!! Tum Muje Dekhte Ho AAnkhe Kyo ChurAkAr BhAg JAti Ho?”
“Juth NA Bolo PINKI Anti. Chori KArne Ki Meri AAdAt NAhi HAi.” Chh SAAl Ki LAdki Ne KAhA.

Ek PrivAte NArsing Home Me BhArti DAulAtAmAnd CHINTU Ji Ne KhubsurAt NArs PINKI Se KAhA- “Sister MAi Tumse ShAdi KArnA ChAhtAA Hu.”
“Sorry! Apke PArivAr Me “Sister” Se ShAdi KArne KA RivAz HAi?” PINKI Ne JAwAb DiyA

Kisi KAAm Se PAdos Ki Ek Vruddh MAhilA PINKI Ke GhAr AAi ! AupAchAriktAAwAsh Unke Liye KAAnch Ke GilAs Me ShArbAt BAnAkAr Le AAi.
“BAhu....!!! MAi KAAnch Ke GilAs Me NAhi Piungi.” Vruddh MAhilA Ne KAhA.
“Is PAr PAAs BAithi PINKI Ki Chh VArshiy Putri Boli- “Isi Me Pi Lijiye. TUT GAyA To MAmmi Kuchh NAhi KAhegi.”

Guddi (Apni SAheli NirjAA Se)- “MAine Apne PAti Guddu Ko Unki AshiqmijAji PAr BAhut KhArikhoti SunAyi.”
NirjAA- “Fir To BechAre ShArm Se PAni-PAni Ho GAye Honge?”
Guddi- “Are NAhi....!!! Ulte KAhne LAge Ki Tumhe Bhi Ameriki RAshtrpAti Ki PAtni Se SAbAk SikhnA ChAhiye.

Guddi (Guddu Se)- “DArling....!!! KAl HAm ShAdi KArne JA RAhe HAi. MAi Tumse Kuchh NAhi ChhipAnA ChAhti.
Apne PichhAle Prem PrAsAngo Ke BAre Me Tumhe SAb Kuchh BAtA DenA ChAhti Hu.”
Guddu- “Tumne To 2 SAptAh PAhle Hi SAb Kuchh BAtA DiyA HAi.”
Guddi- “PAr WAh To 2 SAptAh PAhle Ki BAt HAi. Is Bich To….”

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
?’
Guddu- “Muje Kutte Ne KAt LiyA HAi.”
Doctor- “KyA Tumhe MAlum NAhi HAi Ki MAi 7 BAje KeBAd Kisi Rogi Ko NAhi DekhtA?”
Guddu- “Ji....!!! MAlum HAi....!!! MAgAr YAh BAt Kutte Ko MAlum NAhi Thi.”

“Akhir T.V. Me Aisi KyA Khubi HAi....!!! To Tum HAmeshA Usi Se Chipke RAhAte Ho?’
Guddi Ne Guddu Se JArA JAllAkAr KAhA.
Guddu Ne JAwAb DiyA- “DAbbu Ki MAmmi....!!!
MAi JAb ChAhu T.V. KA Munh To BAnd KAr SAktA Hu.”

Misses PINKI Apne PAdosi Ke YAhA BAchchA Hone PAr Unke SAAt SAAl Ke Bete CHINTU Se Boli- ‘Ab To TumhAre YAhA NAyA Bebi AA GAyA HAi?”
CHINTU Munh BichkAAkAr BolA- “Aunti! Use NAyA KAhti HAi? Are! JAb WAh RotA HAi To LAgtA HAi Ki KAi SAAlo Se RonA Sikh RAhA Ho.”

CinemAhAll Me Guddu Ke BAgAl Me BAithi 2 AurAte LAgAtAr ApAs Me BAAte Kiye JA RAhi Thi. Thodi Der TAk To Guddu SAbrA Kiye BAithA RAhA Lekin Fir JunjAlAA KAr BolA- “MAAf KijiyegA....!!! Muje Apki BAAtchit Ke ChAlte Film KA Koi DiAlogue SunAAi NAhi PAd RAhA HAi. AAp…..”
“To HAm Bhi KAhA AAp Ko SunA RAhe HAi....!!! HAmAri PrivAte BAAtchit ChAl RAhi HAi.” Unme Se Guddi Ne Munh BAnAAte Huye KAhA.

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
KAbhi insAn gAlAt yA sAhi nAhi hotA....!!!
wAqt use gAlt yA sAhi bAnAtA he....!!!
koi dekhtA he kichAd me kAmAl
Aur kisi ko chAnd me b dAg nAjAr AtA…
————————————-
MerA NAAM BoL Ke
SoyA KAro
Khidki KhoL TAkiA Mod Ke
SoyA KAro

HuM B AAyege TuMhAre
KhAyALo Me
IsLiye Thodi JAgAh Chod Ke
SoyA KAro
————————————-
Hum ho gAye fAnA mohAbAt k is zAmAne me
SAjA k tor pe mili mAut pAimAne me
MohAbAt ne nAkAm kAr diyA
WArnA khubiyAAn Aur b thi iss diwAne me
————————————-
SAntA Ko Koi Mobile Pe TAng KArtA ThA SAntA Ne New SIM KhArid KAr Use SMS KiA MAine Wo Sim BAnd KAr DiA He Ab TerA BAAp b TAng NAhi KAr SAktA..
————————————-
Ab To IqrAr KAr Lo
Aur NA TAdpAo
Ab To BAtA Do
Aur NA ShArmAo
Arre Bol Bhi Do
Ki
AAp
Humse
Bhi ZyAdA KAnjus Ho SmS KArne Me
————————————-
SAntA’s Army Test

PAppu- 3+5?
SAntA- 8
PAppu- 7+3?
SAntA- 10
PAppu- 8+8?
SAntA- PAtA nAhi sir
Mere pAss sirf 10 hi ungli HAi ..


RAju SimArAn Ki GhAdi LekAr GhAdisAAj Ke PAAs AyA.
“AAp ChAbi KAb BhArte HAi?” GhAdisAAj Ne PuchhA.
“RAAt Me.” RAju Ne UttAr DiyA.
“IsAliye Itni KhArAb Ho GAi HAi.” GhAdisAAj BolA- “KrupyA SubAh ChAbi BhArA KAre.”

“Tum HAmeshA MurkhtApurn BAAte KiyA KArti Ho.” RAju Ne SimArAn Se KAhA.
SimArAn ShAnt SwAr Me Boli- “SAb SAngAt KA AsAr HAi....!!! YAhA AAne Se PAhle MAi Aisi NA Thi. MerA B.A. KA CertificAte Is BAAt Ki GAwAhi HAi.’

“StArt Ho JAAne Ke BAAd Is GAAdi KA BreAk Hi NAhi LAgtA.” SimArAn Ne RAju Se KAhA.
“KyA Tumne Bhi Is GAAdi Ko Drive KiyA ThA.” RAju Ne PuchhA.
“HAA.” SimArAn Ne BAtAyAA.
“TAbhi To TumhArAA AsAr Is GAAdi PAr PAd GAyAA HAi.” RAju Ne ChhintA DiyA.

MAhilA NetA SimArAn AurAto Ki AjAdi Ke PAksh Me BhAshAn De RAhi Thi. WAh AurAto Ko DimAAgi TAur PAr Purusho Se Uchch Siddh KArnA ChAhti Thi. Usne KAhA- “Akhir PAgAlkhAne AdhiktAr Purusho Se Hi Kyo BhAr RAhe HAi? DiwAne AdhiktAr Purush Hi Kyo Hote HAi?”
TAbhi WAhA MAujud Logo Me Upsthit SimArAn Ke Premi RAju Ki AwAj AAi. “Are....!!! Unko DiwAnAA BAnAyAA Kisne?”

SAngitAkAr RAju Se SimArAn Ne KAhA- “KyA AAj RAAt Ke Liye AAp ApnA SitAAr Aur TAbAlAA Muje De SAkte HAi?”
Kyo…. KyA MerA GAnA Sun-SunAkAr AAj AApkA Bhi MAn GAne Ko KAr RAhA HAi?” KAlAkAAr RAju Ne KAhA.
‘NAhi AAj MAi AArAm Se SonA ChAhti Hu.” SimArAn Ne JAwAb DiyA.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
Ek SAbhA Me SimArAn Ne BAde NAAj Se IthlAte Hue RAju Se KAhA- “WAh SAmne BAithA VyAkit NAjAro Me Teri TArif KAr RAhA HAi. Muj PAr MAr MitA HAi.”
“HAA WAh PurAni Chijo KA VyApAri Jo ThAhrA.” RAju Ne UtAr DiyA.

SimArAn Ne RAju Se PuchhA- ‘AAp ShArAb Pite HAi?”
RAju Ne Kuchh Der Chup RAhAne Ke BAAd KAhA- “PAhAle YAh BAtAAo Ki YAh PrAshn HAi YAA NimAntrAn.’

ThAsAAthAs BhAre TrAin Ke Dibbe Me BudhiyA Sikudi-Sikudi KhAdi Thi. SAAmAne Lete BAbu SAhAb Use DAnt Chuke The. TAbhi SimArAn RAju Ke SAAth TrAin Ke Dibbe Me AAi.
“BAdi Bhid HAi.” SimArAn Ne RAju Se KAhA.
“AAp BAithiye NA.” Lete Hue BAbu SAhAb Ne KAhA.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
SimArAn Apne PurAne Premi RAju Se MilAne Uske GhAr PAr PAhunchi.
RAju Apne Chhote-Chhote BAchcho PAr BigAd RAhe The.
“Ullu KA PAtthA… ShAitAn KA BAchchA….. SuvAr…. .”
TAbhi SAmAne Se AAti SimArAn Bol Uthi- “KyA BAAt HAi? Kyo SAvere-SAvere Apne RishtedAAro Ko YAAd KAr RAhe Ho.”

Chintu-Pinki Ne JAb Ek-Dusre Ko ShAdi KArne KA VAchAn DiyA To Pinki Boli- “MAgAr DeAr....!!! Ek BAAt MAi PAhle Hi SAAph KAr Dun.”
‘KyA?”
“Muje KhAnA BAnAnAA NAhi AtAA.”
“Koi BAAt NAhi Priy.” Chintu BolA- “MAi Bhi PAhle Hi Ek BAAt SAAf KAr DetA Hu.”
“KyA?”
“MAi Ek KAvi Hu…. Mere GhAr Me PAkAAne Ke Lie Kuchh HotA Hi NAhi HAi.” Chintu BolA.

SimArAn Ek Hi PyAr Ki RAt LAgAti Hui Boli- MAi Tumhe ChAhti Hu… MAi Tumhe ChAhti Hu.”
“To Fir Tum Mere SAth ShAdi Kyo NAhi KAr Leti SimArAn?” RAju BolA.
“PleAse....!!! Apni JAbAn Se MAt Firi.” SimArAn Ne Munh BAnAAte Hue KAhA.

Ek Roj HAmAre YAhA PArty Thi. SAAri TAiyAriyA Ho Chuki Thi. MAi TAble Set KAr RAhi Thi. KAAm JAldi Ho JAye....!!! YAh SochkAr MAine Apne MiyAA RAju Ko AlmAri Se ChAinAA PlAte NikAlne Ko KAhA.
Thodi Der BAAd Unki KichAn Se AwAj AAyi- “Suno YAhA To “Med In ChAinA” WAli Koi PlAte DikhAi NAhi De RAhi HAi KAhA PAr RAkh Di HAi Tumne?”
Muje Us SAmAy WAkAi SAmAj NAhi AAyA Ki MAi Unki BAAt SunAkAr HAnsu YAA Rou?

SAngit AdhyApikAA Ke PAd Hetu Niyukti Ho RAhi Thi. Interview Ke DAurAAn PrAshn PuchhA GAyA Ki ShAstriy SAngit Aur Disko Me KyA AntAr HotA HAi?
SimArAn Ne UttAr DiyA- “SAr Aur PAAnv KA AntAr HAi.”
SAAkshAtkArAkArtAA Ne PuchhA- “WAh KAise?”
SimArAn Ne JAwAb DiyA- “ShAAstriy SAngit Me Log SAr HilAte HAi Aur Disco Me PAAnv.”


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
Jinke bo hotA hey....!!! bo hAtt meyn hilAte heyn
Jinke bo nehni hotA heyn bo ungly lAgA kAr hilAte heyn.
PAtA hey kyA hey bo ? Bo hey tooth brush.
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎…… .
A child hAd never seen his hips
Once his teAcher hit him on his hips.
Childn come bAck to home & see the mirror....!!!
& sAid
KAmini ne do tukde kAr diye.
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎…… .
Biwi kA Antim sAnskAr kAr ek AAdmi ghAr jA rAhA thA.
AchAnAk….. Bijli chAmki tufAn AAyA Aur bArish Hui....!!!
Dukhi AAdmi bolA “LAgtA HAi PAhuch GAyi.”
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎…… .
KABHI KABHI
MERE DIL ME
KHAYAL AATA HAI……..
..
..
..
KABHI KABHI
MERE DIL ME
KHAYAL AATA HAI……..
KAHA THANA
KABHI KABHI AATA HAI....!!!
AAJ NAHI AAYA
AANE KE BAAD BATAUNGA….


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

ChAngu:-Dekho meri shAdi-ko 20 sAAl guzAr chuke hAy Aur
AAj deen tAk mAin ek hi stee-ko prem kAr rAhA hun.
MAngu:-Ye to bAhot Achhi bAAt hAy.
ChAngu:-Aur khAtArnAk bhi....!!!jo meri pAtni-ko iski jAAn (pAhechAn)
hote hi woh muze jAAn se mAAr dAlegi.

ChAmpA:-KAl mere pAti sAth meri lAdAi ho gAi....!!!
ghusse-me unho-ne kAhA ke tun jAhAnnAmme jAA.
MAnju:-Fir tune kyA kiyA?
ChAmpA:-MAin us-se kyA dAb jAungi....!!!mAin AAj hi mere piyAr jAAti hun..

ChAmpA:-Are mAnju....!!!AAj kyu teri Ankhen suji hui hey?
MAnju:-KyA kAhun? merA bAbA (MAngu) sAri rAAt ro rAhA thA....!!!
unghtA hi nA thA.
ChAmpA:-To ik hAlrdA gA denA thA.
MAnju:-GAyA....!!! pAr mAngu-ke pAppA-ne kAhA rAhene de....!!!
iss-se to mAngu ro rAhA hey ye jiyAdA AchhA lAgtA hAy…


1980 girls: MAA mei JeAns pehAnungi
MAA : NAhin beti log kyA kAhengey ?
2009 girls: MAA mein mini skirt pehAnungi
MAA: Pehen le beti kuch to pehAn le!

SimilArity between GAndhiji & MAllikA?
Dono ne kApde tyAg diye....!!!
ek ne desh ke liye....!!!
doosre ne DeshwAsion ke liye!

ExAms ke 4 din pehle syllAbus dekhA to yAAd AAyA....!!!
Kuch To HuA HAi Kuch Ho GAyA HAi....!!!
ExAms ke din pAper dekh kAr yAAd AAyA....!!!
SAb Kuch AlAg HAi SAb Kuch NAyA HAi

Judge: U r crossing the limits.
LAwyer: KAun SAAlA AisA kehtA hAi?
Judge: How dAre you cAll me sAAlA?
LAwyer: My Lod....!!! I sAid kAun ‘SA LAw’ kehtA hAi? (my fAvorite)

BhikhAri: SAAb 1 rupAyA de do.
SAheb: KAl AAnA.
BhikhAri: SAAlA is kAl-kAl ke chAkkAr mein is colony mein mere lAkhon
rupAye fAse huye hAin.

GenerAtion Next Motto:
NA hum shAAdi kArenge....!!!
nA Apne bAchchon ko kArne denge.

WhAt do u cAll A womAn in heAven?
An Angel.
A crowd of womAn in heAven?
A host of Angels.
And All womAn in heAven?
PEACE ON EARTH!

WhAt’s the diff between DAvA & DAru?
DAvA is like girlfriend....!!!
thAt comes with expiry dAte And DAru is like wife....!!!
Jitni purAni hogi utnA sir chAd ke bolegi.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
TEACHER : PAPPU....!!! your composition on “My Dog” is exActly the sAme As your brother’s. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No....!!! teAcher....!!! it’s the sAme dog ! TEACHER : WhAt is the chemicAl formulA for wAter?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO! “!!
TEACHER : WhAt Are you tAlking About?
PAPPU : YesterdAy you sAid it’s H to O !
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
TEACHER : PAPPU....!!! go to the mAp And find North AmericA.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now....!!! clAss....!!! who discovered AmericA?
CLASS : PAPPU!
TEACHER : PAPPU....!!! how do you spell “crocodile”?
PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L”
TEACHER : No....!!! thAt’s wrong
PAPPU : MAybe it’s wrong....!!! but you Asked me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
TEACHER : PAPPU....!!! give me A sentence stArting with “I”.
PAPPU : I is…
TEACHER : No....!!! PAPPU. AlwAys sAy....!!! “I Am.”
PAPPU : All right… “I Am the ninth letter of the AlphAbet.”
TEACHER : “CAn Anybody give An exAmple of “COINCIDENCE? ”
PAPPU : “Sir....!!! my Mother And FAther got mArried on the sAme dAy....!!! sAme time.”
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
TEACHER : “George WAshington not only chopped down his fAther’s Cherry tree....!!!
but Also Admitted doing it. Now do you know why his fAther didn’t punish
him?”
PAPPU : “BecAuse George still hAd the Axe in his hAnd?”
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
PAPPU : DAddy....!!! hAve you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you Ask thAt?
PAPPU: Well....!!! where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
TEACHER : WhAt A pAir of strAnge socks you Are weAring....!!! one is green And one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it’s reAlly strAnge. I’ve got Another pAir just like thAt At home.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-
TEACHER : Now....!!! PAPPU....!!! tell me frAnkly do you sAy prAyers before eAting ?
PAPPU: No sir....!!! I don’t hAve to....!!! my mom is A good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
TEACHER : WhAt do you cAll A person who keeps on tAlking when people Are no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teAcher


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
KAnjoos: Yeh kAilA(bAnAnA) kAisAy diyA?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
KAnjoos: 60 PAisA kA detA hAi?
S.K: 60 pAise mein to sirf chilkA milegA.
KAnjoos:Ley 40 pAisAy....!!! chilkA rAkh Aur kelA dAy de
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *****
A KAnjoos on his deAth time.
My wife....!!! where r u ?
Wife:Yes....!!! Im here
My sons & dAughters ru All here?
Yes....!!! PApA
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

1 KAnjoos 14th floor se neche girA
Girte wAqt usne Apni ghAr ki khirki me
Apni wife ko roti pAkAte hue dekhA
to chillA k bolA
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

KAnjoos ne Arbi ko khoon dey k uski jAAn bAchAi.
Arbi ne usAy MERCEDES gift kArdi.
Arbi ko phir khoon ki zArorut pAri....!!!
KAnjoos ne phir khoon diA.
Ab k bAr Arbi ne till wAly lAddu gift kiye....!!!
KAnjoos:Ghusse se....!!! mercedez kion nAhi di?
Arbi:MunnA!!
Ab hAmArey Ander bhi KAnjoos kA khoon dor rAhA hAy
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

A KAnjoos cAlled A newspAper office And Asked: MerA BAAp MAr gAyA hAi....!!! kyA chArges hongAy?
NewsPAper: Rs.50 per word.
KAnjoos: Oh bohAt ziyAdA hAin....!!! AchA likho “SohAn BhAi Died”.
NewspAper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
KAnjoos: Oh ho! JArA sochnAy do….. AchA likho……. ……… .
SohAn BhAi Died – Suzuki for SAle .
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

KAnjoos Ask to TAxi Driver: AbdullAh ShAh GhAzi k mAzAAr jAo gAy?
TAxi Driver: HAn jAon gA.
KAnjoos ne jAib se shopper nikAlA or kAhA:
WApsi mAin lAngAr ki biryAni lete AAnA.
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ *
ShAdi me 1 KAnjoos bAhut der tk khAtA rAhA....!!!
Kse ne pochA bhAe kb tk khAty rhogy?
KAnjoos: YAAr me khud khA khA k thAk gyA hun pr kyA kAroon cArd me likhA thA “Dinner 7 to 10pm
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ ***
KAnjoos to dukAndAr: YAAr zArA toothbrush denA mere brush kA 1 bAAl toot gAyA hAi
DukAndAr: 1 bAAl tootA to nAyA q le rAhe ho
KAnjoos: jo tootA hAi woh Akhri thA.
************ ********* ********* *******
EK KANJOOS KHALI KATOREY MAIN
ROTI DABA KAR KHA RAHA THA
WAITER NE DEKA TU POUCHA
AP YAH KIA KAR RAHEY HIAN
KANJOOS NE JAWAB DIYA
MAIN MATHS KA TEACHER HOON OR DALL
SUPPOSE KAR KAY KHARAHA HOON
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎ ***
TitAnic K SAth KAnjoos Bhi Doob RAhA ThA
Aur HAns Bhi RAhA ThA
Dost:
Oye HAns Kyun RAhA HAi?
KAnjoos:
ShukAr HAi MAin Ne Return Ticket NAhi KhAreedA..

✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
MAshA-AllA gAlib ne kyA sher mArA hAi....!!!

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

KyA sher mArA hAi

..

..

..

..

KyA sher mArA hAi ki

Sherni VIDHWA ho gAyi.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
-close the doors of the windows pleAse….i hAve winter in my nose todAy
-Cut An Apple into two hAlves —tAke the bigger hAlf
-shhhhh..quiet boys….the principAl just pAssed AwAy in the corridor.
-Both of you three ....!!!get out of my clAss
-TAke A copper wire of Any metAl …especiAlly of silver.
-TAke A 5cm. wire of Any length

2.At the ground
-All of you stAnd in A strAight circle
-there is no wind in the bAlloon

3.to A boy Angrily
-I tAlk ....!!!he tAlk....!!!why you middle middle tAlk?????

4.giving punishment
-you three of you ....!!! stAnd together sepArAtely
-you....!!!…. go And understAnd the tree
-Why Are you lAte??????——sAy YES or NO.


GAbbAr: Kitne AAdmi the?
SAmbhA: sArkAAr 2 the
GAbbAr: mujhe ginti nAhi AAti....!!! 2 kitne hote hAin?
SAmbhA: 2 ek ke bAAd AAtA hAi
GAbbAr: Aur 2 ke pehle?
SAmbhA: 2 ke pehle ek AAtA
GAbbAr: beech mein kAun AAtA hAi?
SAmbhA: beech mein koi nAhi AAtA
GAbbAr: toh phir dono ek sAAth kyun nAhi AAte?
SAmbhA: 2 ek ke bAAd AAtA hAi kyunki 2 ek se bAdA hAi
GAbbAr: 2 ek se kitnA bAdA hAi?
SAmbhA: 2 ek se ek bAdA hAi
GAbbAr: 2 ek se ek bAdA hAi toh ek ek se kitnA bAdA hAi?
SAmbhA: SArkAAr....!!! AAp mujhe goli mAAr do


Sun 6 Sep 2009
A.G. Sunte Ho?
Posted by RAhul under Hindi SMS Jokes 
No Comments 
Yeh BiwiyAn Apne pAti ko “A.G.” kyon kehti hAin?
Kyonki BiwiyAn SAnskAri hoti hAin;
Aur sAbke sAAmne “Abey GAdhe” nAhin keh sAkti.
Isliye....!!! short form mAin bulAti hAin “A.G.”.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
WAnt to propose A girl
Just do it – Nike

Before going to propose to A girl
Believe in the best – BPL.

If you Are hesitAting before proposing to A girl
Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door kAro – Vicks.

If you Are going to propose to A girl
ChAnces Are 50-50 – BritAnniA.

If A girl slApped you when you proposed to her
TAke it eAsy – LimcA.

Girl sAys NO !
Jor kA jhAtkA dhire se lAge – MirindA.

Those who succeed in love AlwAys sAy
We dreAm becAuse we do – DAewoo.

If some one wAnts to write A love letter to his girlfriend
Likho script ApnA ApnA.- RotomAc.

If you love someone
Go get it – VisA power.

Boy riding A bike with neighbor’s girl
Neighbors envy owner’s pride – OnidA.

Not sAtisfied with your dAte
Yeh dil mAngey more – Pepsi.

A guy hAving A number of girl friends
The Complete MAn – RAymonds.

A smArt girl hAving A number of boyfriends
Yeh hAi hAmArA surAkshA chAkrA – ColgAte.

For those lost in love
HAr shAAm kA sAthi mAin Aur merA – BAgpiper Whisky.

For A guy ‘r gAl who hAsn’t yet found one
Dhoondte rehe jAyo ge – Surf Exel


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
Go down to c my heArt..
.
.
.
.
.
DekhA.
KitnA sAAf hAi merA DIL....!!!
Bole to ekdAm AApke.
DimAg Ki tArAh.

Ek AmericAn nAi ek SwAmi se bolA....!!!
HAmAre yAhA shAAdi e-mAil se bhi hoti hAi.
Is pAr SwAmi bolA kAmAl hAi....!!!
HAmAre yAhA to sirf femAle se hoti hAi.

PyAAr mein JubAn chup ho to Ankhen bolti hAi....!!!
Ankhen chup ho to dil boltA hAi....!!!
Aur AgAr dil bhi chup ho to?
Toh Log bolte hAi
“RAm NAAm SAtyA HAi”

TohAr sms jAb AwAt hAi....!!!
HAmAr rom-rom khil jAwAt hAi.
BAdAn mA gudgudi howAt hAi.
EemA tohAr sms kA kouno kAsur nAAhi....!!!
Woh to hAmAr phonevA kA vibrAtor on hojAwAt hAi.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
ChAewAlA lAdki dekh kAr bolA: bholi si soorAt....!!! AnkhAon mein mAsti....!!! dur khAdi shArmAye....!!! AAe hAAye....!!!
LAdki boli: kAli si surAt....!!! hAAth me ketli....!!! dur khArA chilAye....!!! chAe chAe.

Boy sAys 2 girl: tute hue dil se pyAr kArogi yA dil tutne tAk pyAr kArogi.
Girl sAys: tuti hui chApAl se pite gA yA chAppAl tutne tAk pitegA.

Hotel mein khAnA khA k sArdAr hAAth k bAdle wAsh bAsin dhone lAgA.
WAiter ne puchA kyA kAr rAhe ho?
SArdAr bolA: dikhtA nAhi lekhA hAi wAsh bAsin


BAniyA: Yeh kelA (bAnAnA) kAisAy diyA?

Shopkeeper: 1Rs.

BAniyA: 60 PAisA kA detA hAi?

S.K: 60 pAise mein to sirf chilkA milegA.

BAniyA:Ley 40 pAisAy....!!! chilkA rAkh Aur kelA dAy de

BAniyA on his deAth time.

My wife....!!! where r u ?

Wife:Yes....!!! IAm here

My sons dAughters ru All here?

Yes....!!! PApA

BAniyA:To phir brAbAr wAle kAmre

kA pAnkhA Q khulA hAy ??? :D:D:D

BAniyA 14th floor se neche girA

Girte wAqt usne

Apni ghAr ki khirki me

Apni wife ko roti pAkAte hue dekhA

to chillA k bolA

MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!

BAniyA ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jAAn bAchAi.

Sheikh ne usAy MERCEDEZ gift kArdi.

Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zArorut pAri....!!!

BAniyA ne phir khoon diA.

Ab k bAr Sheikh ne till wAly lAddu gift kiye....!!!

BAniyA:Ghusse se....!!! mercedez kion nAhi di?

Sheikh:MunnA…!! Ab hAmArey Ander bhi bAniye kA khoon dor rAhA hAy:)

BAniyA cAlled A newspAper office And Asked: MerA ChAchA MAr gAyA hAi....!!! kyA chArges hongAy?

NewsPAper: Rs.50 per word.

BAniyA: Oh bohAt ziyAdA hAin....!!! AchA likho “ChAchA GuzAr GAye”.

NewspAper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!

BAniyA: Oh ho! JArA sochnAy do….. AchA likho……. ……… .

ChAchA GuzAr GAye – MAruti for SAle .

BAniyA Ask to TAxi Driver: CP wAle gurudwAre jAyegA kyA?

TAxi Driver: HAn jAon gA.

BAniyA ne jAib se lunchbox nikAlA or kAhA:

WApsi mAin lAngAr kA khAnA lete AAnA.

BAniyA ko bhoot chArh gAyA ....!!!

3 din bAAd bhoot khud ek ojhA k pAAs gAyA Aur bolA....!!!

OjhA sAhAb mujhe bAhAr NikAlo..! WArnA me to bhookhA hi mAr jAon gA

TitAnic K SAth BAniyA Bhi Doob RAhA ThA

Aur HAns Bhi RAhA ThA

Dost: Oye HAns Kyun RAhA HAi?

BAniyA: ShukAr HAi MAin Ne Return Ticket NAhi KhAreedA


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
“AgAr koi tumhAri sAlAry nA increAse kArAy ....!!! tumhAy promotion nA dAy....!!!
phir bhi tum kAAm kArtAy rAho….
sirf kAAm hi nAhi....!!! ziyAdA kAAm kAro……
promotion ki ummeed nA kAro…….

DekhnA....!!! Uski AAtmA ek din zAroor jAAgAy gi.
Aur wo tumhAy sAlAry increAse Aur promotion zAroor degA ”

Aur AgAr phir bhi koi sAlAry increAse Aur promotion nAhi milAy....!!!
to uske pAAs jAnA....!!!
usAy ek GuldAstA denA….
Aur AAhistA sAy kehnA……. .
bAApu
i Am resigning
MAMOO


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
TumsA koi doosrA zAmeen pAr huA....!!!
Toh RAb se shikAyAt hogi….
Ek toh jhellA nAhi jAAtA....!!!
DoosrA AA gAyA to kyA hAlAt hogi!!!

Propose kArne kA sher:
KuttA mAr gAyA rAjAAi mein....!!!
MAin pAAgAl ho gAyA teri judAAi mein
HAAthi nAdi mein beh nAhin sAktA....!!!Apun tere binA reh nAhin sAktA…

1 Admi ke pAAs 1 kAuwA thA
Wo bAhut nArAm-mulAyAm thA
To AAdmi uskA nAAm kyA rAkhegA ?
.@
:-C
:'(
:)
;-)
:-)
My-Crow-Soft !

WhAt is the diff. Between dAvA & dAru?
Ans: DAvA is like girlfriend thAt comes with expiry dAte.
DAru is like WIFE....!!! jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi…


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
MunnA ke rAdio me kuch problem ho gAyi

to Aur khArAb ho gAyA

Usne rAdio khol kAr dekhA to

ek mArA huA chuhA milA

Ye dekh kAr MunnA gussA ho gAyA Aur bolA

“Ye chAlegA kAise?

SAlA singer hi mArA pAdA hAi “


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
In Art gAllery : couple sees picture of A girl covered by leAf.
HusbAnd wAs keep wAtching her.
Wife : Ab chAloge bhi yA HAwA k AAne kA intezAr kArte rAho gey?

SArdAr shArAb peetA ro rAhA thA.
ShArAb wAlA : kyon ro rAhe ho?
SArdAr : Aur kiyA kAron? MAin jis lArki kA nAAm bhulAnA chAtA hoon. Us kA nAAm yAAd he nAhi AA rAhA.

Wife : I will die.
HusbAnd : I will Also die.
Wife : why do u wAnt to die?
HusbAnd : becAuse mAin itni khushi bArdAsht nAhi kAr sAktA.

MAA: beti tum sAri rAAt kAhAn thi?
Beti: mAin sAri rAAt Apne boy friend k sAAth thi.
MAA: to kAr AAyi ApnA mouh kAlA.
Beti: to kiyA huA fAir & lovely hAi nA.

RAAt ki khAmoshi rAAs nAhi AAti
Meri pArchAyi bhi Ab mere pAAs nAhi AAti
Kuch AAti hAi toh bAs teri yAAd
Jo AAkAr ek pAl bhi mujhse door nAhi jAAti..

RAAt gujri phir mehekti subAh Ayi....!!!
Dil dhAdkA phir tumhAri yAAd Ayi....!!!
AAnko ne mehsoos kiyA uss hAwA ko ....!!!
Jo tumhe chhukAr hAmAre pAss Ayi.

AAnkhon ki zubAn wo sAmAj nAhi pAte
Honth mAgAr kuch keh nAhi pAte
Apni bebAsi kis tArAh kAhen
Koi hAi jinke binA hum reh nAhi pAte

Hum AApko in AAnkho mein....!!!
Yun bAsA liyA kArte hAi....!!!
JA sAke jAhA tAk hAmAri ye nAzAr....!!!
AApko hAr jAghA pAA liyAA kArte hAi.

PAtient to Doc: AApne nurse bAhut Achhi rAkhi hAi....!!!
uskA hAAth lAgte hi mAin theek ho gAyA.
Doctor: JAAntA hu....!!!
thAppAd ki AwAAz mujhe bhi sunAi di thi…
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
HusbAnd Asked his newly mArried wife....!!! she hAd Any boyfriend before mArriAge?
Wife: silent
He sAid....!!! mAin is khAmoshi ko kiyA sAmjhon?
Wife replied: KAmine! GinAy to do :p
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
SArdAr by mistAke goes into lAdies toilet....!!! All lAdies suddenly stAnd up!
SArdAr: izzAt dil mAi ho bus yAhi kAfi hotA hAi....!!! Betho Betho
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
HAthi Aur chenti kA prem vivAh huA....!!!
Dusre din hAthi mAr gAyA....!!!
Cheenti boli “wAh re mohAbbAt”
Ek din kA pyAr milA....!!!
Aur sAri umAr kAbAr khodne kA kAAm milA
✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎
Ek bAr 300 pAthAn ship mAin trAvel kAr rAhe tAhe....!!!
Lekin sAre k sAre mAr gAye.
KAise?
Nothing serious.
Ship bich mAin khArAb hogAi.
To dhAkkA dene niche utAr gAye.


✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎✎

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