Latest whatsappstatus

*I work for money, For loyalty Hire a Dog.

*I don’t know what makes you so dumb, But it really works.

*Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.

*Life is like photography, You use the negatives to develop.

*Time is precious, waste it wisely.

*We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

*Warning…I know KARATE…….And few other oriental words.

*I drink to make other people interesting.

*How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.

*You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

*Save water drink beer.

*I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion.

*If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.

*80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.

*If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.

*That’s the secret to life… replace one worry with another.

*“Success” all depends on the second letter.

*So i heard you’re a player, Well nice to meet you. I’m the coach.

*If you resolve to give up drinking, You don’t actually live longer, It’s just seems longer.

*There’s always that one person, who takes a few minutes to get the joke.

*There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-veterinarian & Tuesday Saturday

*I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.

*Totally available!! Please disturb me!!

*When life puts you in tough situations, don’t say, why me? Just say, try me!

*Trust in God, But lock your car.

*I don’t lie, I speak Fiction.

*His story is History, My Story is Mystery.

*Marriage is a “workshop”, Where husband ‘works’ and wife ‘shops’.

*Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

*If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

*I’m not in a bad mood, Everyone is just annoying.

*Love is like a fart, If you have to force it, It’s probably a crap.

*I am so poor that i can’t pay attention in class.

*Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.

*Of course I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass!

*Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.

*When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action.They rented out my room.


* If i agreed with you, We’d both be wrong.


* FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.


* I will win, Not immediately But Definitely.’


*When i was born..Devil said..”Oh Shit..!! Competition.


*Diet rule 1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.


*Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you got fucked to get there.


* SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won’t be able to see.


*I am not drunk, I am just chemically off-balanced.


* I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.

* Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.


* Silent people have the loudest minds.


* I used to be an atheist, But then i realized i’m God.


* Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you don’t care, than to admit it’s killing you.


* In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.


* Born to express not to impress.


* If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.


* I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.


* Keep Smiling & One day Life will tired of upsetting you......


* If at first, you don’t succeed..Keep flushing.


* The road to success is always under construction.

* Our marriage is like a workshop. I work and my wife shops.

* You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it.

* Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

* I am always right, Once i thought that I am wrong, But i was wrong.

* Be a good person, But don’t try to prove.

* When nothing goes right.. Go left.

* If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at least make one of them pretty

* You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf.

* There are three sides to an argument – your side, my side and the right side.

* If you’re talking abt me behind mah back….. go ahead this is the best angle to kiss mah ass

*Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!

* Etc. – End of Thinking Capacity.

* Whatever it is — I didn’t do it!

* My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

* Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

* Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught.

* Beauty is in the eye of the credit card holder.

* When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.

* Scratch here to reveal my status 😛.....

* I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

* Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.

* Mistakes are proof that you are trying.

*Sometimes you succeed…. and other times you learn.

*I am not failed……My success is just postponed.

*Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.

*When someone says, “You’ve Changed”, It simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way.

*I stay up late every night and realize it’s a bad idea every morning.

*I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side Now.

*You have to be ODD, to be number ONE.

*she’s so fake, if you look behind her neck. I bet it says “Made in china”.

*Don’t tell people your dreams, SHOW THEM!

*Hey there whatsapp is using me.

*Borrow money from a pessimist- – he doesn’t expect it back.

*Person you love is 72.8% water.

*I just want to die young as late as possible.

*Not always “Available”.. Try your Luck..

*People say, you can’t live without love…I think oxygen is more important.

*I m not special, I am just a LIMITED EDITION.

*Nothing is over until you stop trying.

*I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.

*If there is a “WILL”, there are 500 relatives.

*If you’re talking behind my back, you’re in a good position to kiss my ass!



*If you like me Then raise your hand, If not then raise your standard.

*I love my job only when I’m on vacation

*I believe there should be a better way to start each day… instead of waking up every morning.

*Trying to understand you is like trying to smell the color 9.

*A good friend will help you move, a best friend will help you move a dead body.

*I have 2-3 real friends, the rest are just people i socialize with.

*Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

*I know i am something, Because god doesn’t create garbage.

*Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.

*War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.

*Some people are alive only, Because it’s illegal to kill them.

*“You compliment someone for their mustaches, & suddenly she isn’t your friend anymore.

*Oh, So you wanna argue, Bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.

*My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

*I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

*Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.

*AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

*I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.

*For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

*2 Things can change a women’s mood- 1) I love you 2) 50% Discount.

*Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

*Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.

*I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes CLOSED :)

*The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

*Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

*When everything comes your way.. Then you are on the wrong way.

*Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

*I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

*Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

*The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

*Life is Short – Chat Fast!

*when i was BORN i was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year & a half.

*My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

*Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.

*The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.

*I talk to myself because i like dealing with a better class of people.

*Nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.

*Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

*There is only 1 thing 2 do, 3 words for you – I Love You

*After Tuesday, even the calendar says “W T F”.

*Had a really great “Night Out” last night, According to my police report.

*When there’s a will, I want to be in it.

*I’d rather have honest enemies than fake friends.

*The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry.

*Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

*“I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.”

*Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

*I need Six months of vacation, Twice a year.

*Politeness has become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation.

*You are as useless as the ‘AY’ in ‘Okay’.

*Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.




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1 comment:

  1. Great Post! I have create such a amazing "whatsapp status" collection...

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